ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 522

Posted on November 15, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Baltimore City Police Ride-Along

I can’t say too much about my ride-along cos of the confidentiality with the Homicide Department whom I rode along with last night, but I can say this:

1. It is like The Wire in areas of the city. The cops said the show is totally realistic in parts. I saw ‘The Corner‘, made famous by David Simon.

The Wire

2. I have a new respect for the guys and gals in the Homicide Department.

3. Apparently Baltimore has more murders in one week than the entire nation of Canada does in a year (Is this true?! NOT a police fact, but an interweb fact…). It is kind of crazy to drive along with police and them point out where murders and shootings took place.

4. The humour of the Baltimore cops is very piss-taking in a familiar British way 🙂

Life on the streets

5. Even criminals don’t like the cold. The cold keeps them off the streets, it appears. The junkies, however, apparently don’t feel the cold.

6. There are so many boarded up houses in some districts, it’s amazing that people are still hanging around on the corners.

7. This quote hanging from a detective’s desk interested me: For a plot hatched in hell, don’t expect angels for witnesses.

Homicide Dept

8. Baltimore is an eclectic city. It’s awesome and scary and cultural and poor and rich.

9. Baltimore is lucky to have the police department it does. I was in safe hands.

Respect to the cops

10. Finally, some people did not get why I wanted to experience this police ride along in one of the murder capitals of the USA.

I posted on Facebook that I was hoping for some action on the ride-along and someone commented ‘there will be “action”- not sure it’s the type anyone really wants to see’. But, you see, I did want to see this type of action, because it’s intriguing, fascinating and I’m curious.

I asked the cops when we were in some of the more intense areas that we drove through what would happen if I got out and walked along the streets or in some of the project complexes. They told me I didn’t want to know….

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, Americans, Baltimore, Baltimore Homicide Department, Baltimore police, British humour, Canade, cops, David Simon, expat life, homicide, maryland, murders, ride along, The Corner, The Wire, UK, USA | 6 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 521

Posted on November 14, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Can Americans ‘do’ English beer?

When I say ‘beer’ I mean ‘ale’. I really wished my British chum Matthew was with me last night in Columbia, MD, to sample a new beer that is being brewed in Baltimore. Matthew’s quite the connoisseur of beer. Yes, there is such a thing.

This beer is the English-style pale ale, Shell Raiser, which is now on the taps at every Greene Turtle bar from yesterday.

English beer is popular here on the East Coast of the USA and the Greene Turtle has brewed this English-style pale ale made with crystal malts and English and American hops.

The Greene Turtle’s Shell Raiser

So, does it taste ‘English’? English beer is a rare thing to my taste buds. I confess that if I ever have a beer, it will be a Sol with a lime slice squeezed in it. I think I’ve only really had the odd beer in a pub in the UK perhaps at Christmas around a log fire to warm the cockles, when the thought of having a pint (or a half pint) just appeals.

Yes, I think it tastes very English! I can imagine having a pickled egg or a pack of Scampi Fries with this beer.

It’s brewed by Heavy Seas in Baltimore and has a ‘malt forward presence and slightly hoppy finish’. They say that Shell Raiser pairs nicely with several Greene Turtle menu items, including burgers, signature sandwiches, gourmet tacos and wraps. I love me a taco, but I think if we want to make this a truly English sensation, a pasty or a beef and horseradish sandwich would also go down a treat.

Good old English pasty!

So…can Americans ‘do’ English beer? Yes, I rather think they can! Nice one, Greene Turtle peeps. (But get that pasty on the menu! 😉 )

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Baltimore, beer, Blog, British, Columbia, drink, drinking, eating, English, English beer, English hops, food, Greene Turtle, Heavy Seas Brewery, hocoblogs@@@, maryland, pasty, Scamp Fries, Shell Raiser Pale Ale, tacos | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 520

Posted on November 13, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Pub & Paint

So the thing that I did last night really needs to happen in the UK. I’m sure it is in LondonTown but when I Googled my home town to see if this thing happens there, it does not. I will make this thing happen!

The thing is Pub & Paint! And it’s such fun! It’s taking my bit of America by storm at the moment – everyone’s at it! In fact, as I walked back to my car last night after pubbing and painting there was another group of folks walking out of somewhere else and clutching their completed canvases in their hands with joy and glee and wine in their souls.

The concept is this: You drink in a pub whilst being instructed how to paint. Simples! We were instructed by the patient folk of Pub & Paint, hosted in Portalli’s in Ellicott City.

It’s in a pub. And you paint.

We were to paint wine glasses, though I think at one point my friend Andrew misinterpreted this as ‘dead mammals’. His started as a bit of a train wreck, but it’s actually now hanging on the wall in Portalli’s, so all credit to him for managing to pull it off despite the copious amounts of Chardonnay he was knocking back.

Depending on how much you pubbed, the memory of actually painting might be a bit fuzzy, but most of us woke up with a friendly reminder hanging on our wall.

This is mine 🙂

Look, I even signed it!

Now, readers of this very blog, listen up! I will be giving this away as an early Christmas treat to one of you lucky Desperados!

All you have to do is read this story and guess the missing USA state:

Once upon a time I decided that Claire was a very boring name and wanted to call myself something else.

So I reached deep into my psyche, and since I had a fascination with the Land That Calls Itself America (fyi, I’m about age 15 at this point in my life) I decided to call myself after four USA states or places. (Blush). (The Shame).

These are three of those four states or places in order, with the third name/state missing:

Phoenix Alabama ……. Savannah.

Can you guess the third missing state from this almost-Redneck name I gave myself back in the 1990s? (Friends, can you remember?!!!)

Answers via a gloriously quick email to clairebolden@hotmail.com.

The winner will be selected at random by He-Who-Is-Never-Named (my husband) after his work Christmas do in December.

Get emailing folks – how can you not want to miss having this UK Desperate Housewife USA masterpiece hanging in your living room? 😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, American states, British, Ellicott City, expat, expat life, hocoblogs@@@, painting, Portallis, Pub & Paint, UK Desperate Housewife USA, USA, wine | 9 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 519

Posted on November 12, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Blog giveaway!

On Monday I’m talking on Fox 45 News about what ‘moms’ (yes, British folk, that’s ‘mums’ – and I am still one of those) might want for Christmas this year.

And included in this list of items is a much-coveted item…..Downton Abbey perfume. Yes, really, there is such a thing!

So, I’m doing a blog giveaway to win this item, and all you have to do is answer this question:

What’s the thing I miss most from the UK? (Apart from my friends and family, of course!)

Is it…

a) Walking to places

b) Netball

c) Being able to make jokes that people get

d) All of the above?

Email your answers to: clairebolden@hotmail.com and the winner will be picked at random by Harry, whilst eating his post-school snack, on Monday 17 November. I’ll contact the winner to get the mailing address and you (or your wife/girlfriend/mistress/daughter/boss) will be the lucky recipient of their very own Downton Abbey perfume!

Entries must be in by 4pm on Monday 17 November. (I’ll post to UK, USA, Timbuktoo, wherever, so all entries are welcome!)

These are the other items I’ll be discussing for those ‘moms’ in your life! You can tune in on Monday, 815am to find out more on Fox 45 News!

Fits for the Occasion Tiles (placetile.com) – For the home entertainer

‘Fits for the Occasion Tiles’ are a new line of stylish, erasable ceramic accent labels with interchangeable, magnetically attached motif designs, perfect as dinner table place cards for guests, as descriptive accessories for each dish being served and for many other entertaining uses. Each Fits for the Occasion ceramic label tile can be customized for the setting and occasion by simply detaching one motif and attaching a new one. Comes in 16 different motifs to fit any party or gathering theme. The Fits for the Occasion Tiles come in 2 sizes, 6” x 8” MessageTile size and 2.25”x3.75” PlaceTile size. $14.95 – $38.95, depending on size and style.

Cute!

Downton Abbey Fragrances (downtonabbeyfragrances.com) – For the perfume lover

The Downton Abbey fine fragrance collection are sensual and sophisticated perfumes designed to embody the personality and style of the central female characters of the show, including Anna Bates, Lady Cora, Lady Mary, Daisy Mason, Lady Edith, Lady Rose and Countess Violet. The collection’s fragrances are crafted in the artisanal method utilized by the master perfumers so highly in demand during the early 1900’s time period during which the show is set, allowing the fragrances to be very close approximations of the luxurious and complex perfumes which the high society ladies of that era actually wore. The rich and varied scents of the fragrances have been crafted from pure perfume oils, without alcohol, chemicals, additives, artificial colors, parabens or phthalates. These fragrances are pure and undiluted, vastly different than most perfumes on the market, which generally are up to 75% alcohol. Whereas alcohol-based perfumes evaporate in a rush, obscuring the delicate nuances of a fragrance’s complexity, the richness of each of the Downton Abbey fragrances can be appreciated much like fine wines. Each scent has top, middle and bottom notes that develop slowly after application on the skin, creating a sensual experience that lasts for and develops over a period of hours. It is this kind of painstaking fragrance artistry that allows the Downton Abbey collection perfumes to reflect the personality of the show’s characters. $74.99 (8 ml).

The big give-away!

Light Affection (lightaffection.com) – For those who appreciate unique memory/keepsake items

Light Affections offer a special alternative to the traditional way of displaying photos. Light Affection frames are framed sculpture duplications of any photograph. The photograph is duplicated perfectly in sculpture and then combined with a beautiful lighting system that illuminates every aspect of the sculpture, creating a work of art that makes the memory displayed in a photograph seem as if alive and making it even more treasured. Based on an age-old art form known as lithophanes (Greek for vision in stone), the engraving of an image comes to life when illuminated from behind. The varying thickness of the translucent material creates the illusion of the original image. Just email a digital image or mail a physical photograph and the company generates the Light Affection without damage to the original image. Comes in sizes from night-lights to large frames in various styles and shapes. $45 – $239 depending on size.

Bless!

Sachi Insulated Fashion Handbags (sachi-bags.com) – For work or on the go

Sachi Insulated Fashion Bags are insulated, fashionable lunch bags suitable for any setting. Stylish and roomy enough to double as a purse or handbag, while effectively keeping food hot or cold as desired. Easily wipes clean with a damp cloth. Handles fold down for easy fit in the refrigerator. Zips closed and handles fold down to the sides so that you may lay it flat, allowing for easy refrigerator storage. Comes in a variety of styles and colors. Retails for $5.99 – $27.99.

Love this bag!

Cushies (nufoot.com) – For comfort around the house

Cushies, the newest indoor footwear creation from the Nufoot Company, are a comfortably padded and soft slipper-shaped footwear, but which is also nearly weightless, amazingly flexible and has a breathable mesh top. They are also antimicrobial and both water and skid resistant. Its sturdy neoprene construction makes it durable and comfortable on any indoor surface. Comes in a variety of colors in sizes for both men and women. $19.99.

Snuggly!

Sound Oasis Bluetooth Sleep Sound Therapy System (soundoasis.com) – for the music lover

The Sound Oasis Bluetooth Sleep Sound Therapy System combines the best facets of a high-quality, wireless bluetooth speaker and a therapeutic sound and sleep therapy device. As a Bluetooth speaker, it has a 30 ft. range to stream music from your mobile device or computer. Its built-in usb-rechargeable battery allows for 5-8 hours of cordless use on one charge. Super compact size at 2 ½ inches tall by 2 ½ inches in diameter makes it very portable but still has excellent sound quality and powerful bass. Built-in sleep therapy sound tracks can be customized to run seamlessly for up to 8 hours. Perfect for improving sleep, blocking noise and managing tinnitus. 10 different sounds are built-in and more sleep/sound therapy tracks/sounds can be downloaded from the SoundOasis.com store or from the Sound Oasis Apps. $59.99.

I so need this!

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, Baltimore, Blog, British, Christmas, Cushies, Daisy Dukes, Downton Abbey fragrance, Fox 45 news, gifts for moms, hocoblogs@@@, Light Affections, netball, Sachi Bags, Sound Oasis, Tiles for Occasions, UK, USA, walking | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 518

Posted on November 11, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Writing the date today!

I realised that today I can write the date the British way in America-land and not get it wrong! (11/11/14)

In fact, then I realised, being the Brains of Britain that I am, that I can do that every month! Hoorah! I will make sure to this on those days!

Lifestyle expert

Last month I did a segment on Fox 45 News in Baltimore as a ‘lifestyle expert’. Well, they want me back! This time I’ll be on Monday 17 November at 815am (in case you want to see it live – otherwise, have no fear – I’ll video it! 😉 )

This time I’ll be promoting ‘gifts for moms’ at Christmas.

If you didn’t see the last time I did it, here’s a reminder of what I did (and that is NOT an American accent – okay, just a twinge of one!)

http://youtu.be/LfbeHvmd2BE

I hope I get to see the dishy Tom Rodgers again!

Ride-along in Baltimore

This Friday I will be able to strike another thing off my USA bucket list. A police ride-along in Baltimore.

I’m v excited about this, but doubt very much I will be able to report or blog too much since it’s all confidential innit, but rest assured I will have something to tell (and a pic of me in a bullet-proof vest I hope!).

People have questioned why I want to do this. And I say ‘why not?’. (I just won’t be watching episodes of the The Wire before I go…. 😉 )

Indeed.

Fear not, mother, I’m in good hands!

Posted in Travel | Tagged American, Americans, Baltimore police, blogging, British, bucket list, dates UK, dates USA, England, Fox 45 news, hocoblogs@@@, lifestyle expert, police ride-along, risk, risk taking, Travel, UK, USA | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 517

Posted on November 9, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Bit of British grub

I honestly, truly don’t crave much British food here in the USA. I really don’t. Unless it’s put in front of me, that is, and then I can shove down a Flake, some sausages, toffee, some Scampi Fries, Mars Bar, and definitely some Shepherd’s Pie with the best of them.

There’s a hell of a lot of us Brits in this here Maryland community and we all like to support each other’s ventures. Many Brits read this blog for example, and for that I thank them. And Nicola Edwards is a lovely Brit in Odenton, MD who’s set up The Queen’s Grocer, an online store that provides British food, goods, and gifts ‘with royal treatment customer service’. 😉

🙂

So, what do British treats and food stuffs look like?

Well, this…

Chocolate!

HobNobs!

Spot the Pot Noodle (not our finest British culinary moment 😉 )

The best selection of crisps ever!

Ready Brek rules

The best thing today was the Shepherd’s Pie – fabulousness! I’m told the key ingredient for this recipe is Bisto gravy. Fact.

Get yer chops round that, me luvvers!

Me and my British gal pals, who’ve been in this here land of Uncle Sam for yonks, but who retain their British accents and sense of humour, munched our way through the tasters and placed orders for various things (FYI, Scampi Fries and British sausages for me 😉 ).

But…. this is a confession that will shock many British friends. I can’t stand the taste of British bacon anymore. I love American bacon! And whilst British bacon might be one of the things that many Brits hanker after, it’s not for me. Sorry Brit chums. 😉

Nicola is The Queen’s Grocer

And, yes, I know we can get some of this British food stuff in the stores round here like Giant and Wegmans, but it’s really important to support personal ventures in our community like Nicola’s so I hope, if you are a Brit here in the USA, you’ll place an order for the things you love, and if you are an American and just fancy trying out some British stuff, go for it!

Me and the Brit gals with the Queen, innit

I’ll definitely be placing a big order for St George’s Day celebrations next year. Hoorah for that!

Best of British luck, Nicola! 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, American bacon, British, British bacon, British chocolate, British food, British luck, British UK, English, expat, expat life, expats, Flake, hocoblogs@@@, Mars Bar, maryland, MD, Nicola Edwards, online food store, sausages, SCampi Fries, Shepherd's Pie, St Geroge's Day, the Queen, The Queen's Grocer, UK, USA | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 516

Posted on November 7, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Expat life realities

Let’s be honest – expat life can sometimes be hard. It’s not all a bed of roses over a cocktail in the afternoon. Sometimes you get lonely; sometimes it’s hard to meet people and make friends; sometimes you just want to go home; sometimes you want to cry into your badly-made Lipton’s cup of tea.

One of the most inspiring people I’ve met in my journey out here in the USA is Allegra Stein, who is a life coach who focuses on expat life and how to find the positive in it.

There was a time a few months ago where I felt overwhelmed with all that I had taken on – fitness, nutrition, acting, writing, having a social life, travel in the USA, psychology degree, blogging, being a wife and mother, etc etc and I didn’t know how to resolve my internal conflicts and I became quite negative. I wanted a fulfilling and joyful expat life, but I couldn’t see how to achieve what I wanted to for myself and my family. (Desperate Housewife confession time! )

One of my very fun, positive experiences as an expat 🙂

Speaking with Allegra (for over an hour), she set me a few tasks and I began to remove some of the things in my life that were dragging me down. It was like a brand new light in my life and I began to see things much more clearly. It’s been a liberating process and I’m so glad I had the chance to work with Allegra.

Therefore, I interviewed her for Global Living Magazine so that you can also share in her expertise and wise words.

If you want to read it, you can access it via this link.

Click on the image to enlarge and read :)

Allegra’s advice

Here are a few extracts to entice you!

‘The best advice I ever got was from Allegra Stein, an expat life coach, who told me to remove these negative experiences from my life, and she was right because it made a huge difference to me not be exposed to this way of thinking.’

‘So much of who we are can be uprooted and shifted around when we move; the discomfort of that can be heightened even more when we don’t understand why we’re struggling so much.’

‘My favorite advice for meeting new people is this: Do what you love. If you’re trying to find your new best friend, stop. Start doing what you love and the friends will follow.’

‘ The first step is simply awareness – to take the blame off of our city / partner / job / boxes / messy house /etc. and accept that we alone are responsible for how we feel and what we do with our lives. This is both the most liberating and most difficult part of the work.’

‘What I expect from my clients is a willingness to play all-out – to be curious, compassionate and vulnerable, to be open to change, challenge, discomfort and creativity.’

I totally live by all of the above now – and it rocks my expat world! (And I have time to pursue my dreams AND be a Desperate Housewife! 😉 )

British expressions

This. Enjoy 😉

Click to enlarge and read 😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged Allegra Stein, America, British expressions, cup of tea, desperate housewife, expat, expat journey, expat life, expats, Global Living Magazine, hocoblogs@@@, journey, life coach, life experiences, lifestyle, negative experiences, positive experiences, swearing, UK, USA | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 515

Posted on November 7, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

British flag in the USA

I only found out a few weeks ago that if you’re a Brit in the USA and you fancy flying the Union Flag outside your house, like many do, you’ve kind of got to fly it with a Stars and Stripes flag next to it out of respect and wotnot.

Like this:

But….on a walk the other day, I spotted this house! CONTROVERSY ALERT! 😉

Who lives in a house like this one?!

So, being an inquisitive personage, I’m so going to knock on the door because I need to know the Brits who live there (how do I not know them – I know most Brits who live in this area!!), and then I need to ask them if they know about the ‘rules’ for flying the Union Flag in the USA…..

Readers, I shall solve the mystery and report back!

Mobbies

If you are presently reading this blog, thank you oodles! That means you must kind of like reading it. So, if that is the case, then please go to this link and vote for this very blog in the Baltimore Sun’s Mobbies for Best Blogs in the area under the headings Best Suburban Blog* and Best Personal Blog.

Thanks EVER so muchly kind folk of the blogsphere whom I call Desperados!

*PS. Don’t tell anyone I write a blog about living in the ‘burbs, for heaven’s sake! 😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, American flag, Baltimore, Blog, blogger, British, British flag, England, hocoblogs@@@, lifestyle, Mobbies 2014, Stars and Stripes, Travel, UK, Union flag, USA, vote UK Desperate Housewife USA | 5 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 514

Posted on November 5, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Gutted

After yesterday’s election results in Maryland I’m a bit gutted for some of my friends who were running for office.

That said, they’re all super folk who will pick themselves up and get on with making things happen.

There’s a lot of disappointment in some areas, but I like to use the British word ‘gutted’. It’s slang, of course.

Things are a-changing in Maryland…

Bonfire Night / Guy Fawkes

Today is Bonfire Night, or Guy Fawkes, in the UK.

When describing this to small children, I begin to hesitate as it all sounds a bit crazy….

‘Um, well, someone tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament and his name was Guy (Guido) Fawkes, and they burnt him or something for that act, and now we celebrate that day by building a big bonfire and putting a stuffed effigy of him on top and standing in the freezing cold letting off fireworks and eating food….’

How is that not just a little bit weird…..

I know some Brits in the USA are having their own Bonfire Night celebrations, so hurrah for them!

We won’t be letting off fireworks though….they’re banned in Maryland!

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Bonfire Night, elections, England, fireworks, gutted, Guy Fawkes, hocoblogs@@@, Houses of Parliament, maryland, Politics, UK, USA | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 513

Posted on November 4, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Election Day

It’s Election Day in the USA! 🙂 Hooray!

Which means the schools are closed. 😦 Boo!

Nonetheless, folks are out voting here in Columbia, MD.

This is what Harry’s school looks like today…

More signs…

More and more signs…

The best bit about going out and ‘working the polls’ (cos I can’t vote being that I’m British, not because I am a convicted felon, as I reminded someone today) is that you get to chat to all sorts of folk.

And THIS IS A STORY OF COINCIDENCE that blew my mind from talking to my American friend’s mom at the polls…

When I visited Columbia, MD back in March 2012, before we moved here, I blogged about that visit and all that I thought about the place. On my final day of the visit the weather was fabulous and I was sat outside a coffee shop reading a book and thinking about which schools I should send Harry to, and these two lovely American women started talking to me (Americans are MUCH better at doing that than Brits).

We talked for a while and they gave me some good advice about schools and the area, and what the place was like. I mentioned them in my blog. Read the extract here under ‘Day 5‘.

So, today I’m at the polls and I’m talking to my friend Nicole who is running for Very Important Things and I took a picture of her and her mom.

Nicole and her mom

And her mom turns to me and says, ‘I think I met you a few years ago when you were visiting before you lived here and you were having a coffee outside Jostin’s Cafe on a hot day and we talked about schools and Fifty Shades of Grey.’

Well, blow me down, if Nicole’s mom isn’t one of those fabulous women who I talked about in my blog! And Nicole said, ‘Ah, I remember you talking about meeting a British girl about my age who was coming to live here, and now it all makes sense.’

Ain’t that a coincidence?! 🙂

Kudos to the British lady

I also met a British lady at the polls who can vote, because she’s been here yonks, and I recognised her from an aqua aerobics class I did a few times.

When I said this to her, she replied: ‘Oh yes, darling! Sorry, I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on!’

Best British response ever 🙂

Take That

Americans do not know who Take That are. This makes me sad, especially when I play Rule the World in some of my classes here, and that they were such a big part of my growing up (Robbie fan, of course).

American folk, FYI, they were the boy band / One Direction of the 1990s in the UK, and are now a bit more respected than they were back then. Only slightly. 😉 But I don’t care – I love this song!