Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 213

‘I Have a Dream’

Today marks the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech. A pretty special day in the USA, I would say.

The main man himself

The main man himself

Bells from churches, schools and historical monuments will “let freedom ring” in celebration of a powerful moment in civil rights history. More than 300 sites in nearly every state will ring their bells at 3pm their time today, or at 3pm EDT, the hour when King delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech in Washington.

A reminder of that MLK said on that momentous day:

I say to you today, my friends, though, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meeting of it’s creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.
Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963

America’s quirky neighbour

So, Canada. It sits gently above the USA, it has that massive waterfall, mountains and whales and beavers and it speaks with respect about its people of the First Nation.

But, what else of the quiet neighbour attached to the USA?

Not so quiet, actually, and definitely quirky – that’s what photographer Naomi Harris found out. Naomi is a native of Toronto and became a naturalized US citizen earlier this month after living in New York City for 16 years. She embarked on an epic 4 month journey across Canada in 2011, creating these amazing, almost cartoonish, portraits of people from all walks of life.

World's Largest Coffee Pot and Mug in Davidson, Saskatchewan

World’s Largest Coffee Pot and Mug in Davidson, Saskatchewan

At a demolition derby in Weyburn, Saskatchewan

At a demolition derby in Weyburn, Saskatchewan

Carol LaFayette-Boyd, right, Masters world champion from Regina, Saskatchewan

Carol LaFayette-Boyd, right, Masters world champion from Regina, Saskatchewan

A Sioux Indian in an unusual attire complete with pink pig-shaped slippers attends a Valley Pow Wow in Sioux Valley, Manitoba

A Sioux Indian in an unusual attire complete with pink pig-shaped slippers attends a Valley Pow Wow in Sioux Valley, Manitoba

I love these pictures! I think, sometimes, from a UK, and possibly a U,S perspective Canadians are perceived as exceedingly polite, straight-laced and a bit boring, but the subjects in Harris’ series of photos (nicely titled ‘Oh Canada‘) are anything but. And I love that!

Now, I have Canadian relatives, so I know that Canadians are anything but boring, and these photos highlight for me that, whilst Canada may well be considered the ‘quiet neighbour’, it also oozes character, diversity and charm.

Hoorah for Canada!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 212

A glimpse of USA schooling

The best things about walking to school in the USA is (hold on, we walk? – yes, WE WALK!!!)…anyway, the best thing, for me, is personality spotting in the groups of kids as they head to school.

You wouldn’t be able to do this in the UK, since most every kid wears a uniform to school and it’s pretty hard to determine what group they fall in to when they all look the same. It was so cool to see these kids today being able to express their personalities through their choice of clothes.

So, this morning I spotted (note: stereotyping stories about each group totally made up by me for entertainment purposes only 😉 ):

An Emo kid with dyed blue hair, black tights and a suitably sad expression carrying a violin case. Obviously a musical genius cloaked in a shroud of Emo teenage depression, desperate to leave the school orchestra and join an Emo band to make ‘real’ music.

The cheerleaders wearing very short shorts, long socks, super long, shiny hair in braids, and ever-so white teeth. They looked so jolly and happy, and hungry.

The jocks rolled up in their football shirts, their back packs full of mouth guards and shin guards and shoulder pads and they did a lot of back slapping, proving to each other that they were jam-packed full of testosterone and that they were more than able to play the field in both respects.

The geeks kicked a few stones and counted the cracks on the uneven pavements as they prepared themselves for another day of torment, the last session of Online Trains Gaming still fresh in their ever-so-clever clogs minds.

And thus, my account of school is complete. It was like wandering onto the set of Glee (except, sadly, no one was breaking out in to song and dance – I would so do that!). I wish I could spend a day at school chatting to these kids, asking them all about life as an American school kid.

Geeks, jocks, cheerleaders....

Geeks, jocks, cheerleaders….

Breakfast Club

Harry does breakfast club at school (out of choice, not because of detention – give him a break, he’s only been in school for one day!). Anyway, I was kind of hoping he’d make a Judd Nelson type friend that will be all dark and brooding and interesting that I can talk to, but then I remembered he’s only 5 and they probably don’t get much engaging than telling poo jokes at that age.

So cool :)

So cool 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 211

School starts…

…and parents everywhere breathe a sigh of relief.

Children herd along the streets or wait on street corners for the ubiquitous yellow school bus to pull up, their backpacks full of newly labelled stuff that will almost certainly end up in ‘Lost and Found’ in week 3, their shoes shiny (actually, read that as their sneakers buffed) and their hair brushed (actually, not my son’s, but then we would have been late for school if I had done that).

A joy to behold....

A joy to behold….

And so I hit the gym, as do a plethora of other smiling mums/moms, all keen to regain their routines and tick off their to do lists (and, probably, enjoy a bit of peace and quiet in the sun).

;)

I hear ya!

Ah, school days 😉

Yosemite

The park is burning hot, and I’m hoping we don’t have to strike it off of our bucket list.

It’s being reported as the nation’s largest active forest fire and is burning on through at the edge of Yosemite National Park.

(Photo: Jae C. Hong, AP)

(Photo: Jae C. Hong, AP)

This is what it should look like.

This is what it should look like.

Apparently the fire is the size of Chicago. Wowsers.

Looking ahead to winter…

So, whilst the summer hasn’t even closed out on us yet, and by all accounts September is still beautiful here, with the Fall following on as a magical time, the predictions for a North American winter look grim.

The Farmers’ Almanac is using words like ‘piercing cold,’ ‘bitterly cold’ and ‘biting cold’ to describe the upcoming winter. And if its predictions are right, the first outdoor Super Bowl in years will be a messy ‘Storm Bowl.’

The NFL title hasn't been decided in a snow storm since 1948, before the Super Bowl.

The NFL title hasn’t been decided in a snow storm since 1948, before the Super Bowl.

So that’s something to look forward to, then.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 210

Halloween Candy

It’s August isn’t it? Still summer, correct? Not in the commercial world….it’s still 60 something days until Halloween, but already the candy adorns the shelves.

On a shelf near you now (if you are in the USA)

On a shelf near you now (if you are in the USA)

A Brit in the USA has written about her views on Halloween in the USA…… I’ll be honest, I thought it was hilarious last year (despite the plethora of candy being shoved in plastic pumpkins). I might even dress up this year….

Yearbooks
Yearbooks are pretty much American school things, though I seem to recall something similar attempting to rear its head in the UK at some point, though I suspect it didn’t do terribly well.

Apparently the Yearbook is V V V V important in the USA, and this Facebook conversation that I picked up on demonstrates how terribly important it is, not just to the kids, but to the parents. And, in some ways, it also amused me, but in a nicely amused way. So many views and opinions on Yearbooks – I had no idea the passion behind them!!! Oh, the trials and tribulations of being a parent in the USA!

How times have changed since this yearbook!

How times have changed since this yearbook!

FB Status
‘So …. the much awaited 2013 Yearbook arrives – disappointed to say that despite the fact that we have spell/grammar check in today’s technology, the yearbook is CHOCKFUL of errors including noting students on incorrect pages, typos throughout including the misspelling of the word Journalism. So after 4 years of writing papers, proof reading, etc – this is part of my boy’s reward (ultimately, diploma most important here)?! Heartbreaking…hoping class of 2014 receives a better product.’

Response 1: Frustrating to say the least. In my son’s school they put Brandon’s name instead of Brian’s for his 3rd place finish at the State track meet.

Response 2: One year Reservoir High’s yearbook had Reservoir misspelled on the cover of it! LOL!

Response 3: Actually would like to see a few less pictures… so the ones they do include are large enough to make out.

Response 4: I have complained several times to the appropriate people at school about the numerous mistakes made every year. My daughter’s picture went missing from her sophomore yearbook and I was refused a refund!

Response 5: Not to mention that the Dance Team, that practices 12 hours per week, performs at Football, pep rally, basketball, and competes all winter and Spring, culminating with a state championship showing of 6 routines, placing in 4 of them mind you, does not even get a single page or team photo except for a few candid’s at the spring trip. There was a page titled silks and drill team with not a word or picture on it about the dance team. Unbelievable! Oh, but the book club which meets once a month got a half page spread. Also, my daughter’s name was misspelled different ways almost every time it was listed. So sad for my daughter that the activity that she poured her heart and soul into for 4 years, did not seem to even exist in this book her senior year.

Response 6: Orchestra didn’t even get a page… ridiculous.

Response 7: I did see a page that said Orchestra, but most of the pictures on that page were actually of the concert and jazz bands.

Response 8: One picture of the teacher and the orchestra. No words written about the group, symphonic didn’t really get recognition either! But if you notice, the sports pages were pretty detailed…

Response 9: Sad.

Response 10: Set them straight ladies. You paid good money for those yearbooks.

Response 11: We offered our “mom’s” assistance in proofreading after seeing the atrocities in the 2006 yearbook. What can we do? It has not improved in all these years? This definitely needs adult supervision.

🙂

Or not.

Or not.

Minimum wage USA / UK

I chanced upon details about the USA minimum wage recently and it read thus: ‘One of the goals of the 1963 “March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom” was a $2 minimum wage. In 2013, that would equate to $15.27 an hour. The current federal minimum wage is $7.25.’ (Courtesy of Tom Coale, District 9B.)

WAGE-color-3-col-1024x852

Which made me wonder how this compares to the UK minimum wage….

This was the latest from the BBC: ‘The national minimum wage is to rise by 12p an hour to £6.31 for adults and by 5p to £5.03 for 18-to-20-year-olds from October, the government has announced.’

How does that equate for each country? At the current exchange rate, $7.25 dollars is £4.66.

So that’s why we tip in the USA…..

Ziploc bags come in all sizes

Bugger, I only have one size 😦

Who knew there were so many Ziploc bags to choose from?!

Who knew there were so many Ziploc bags to choose from?!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 209

Peter Popoff’s Miracle Juice

So, when we stay in hotel rooms I get the joy of flicking through American TV channels. It’s a whole new world of crazy TV shows – but even more mind-blowing are the commercials (adverts, I know!)

The one that had our jaws dropping to the floor was Peter Popoff’s gobsmacking declaration that his ‘miracle spring water’ can get you out of debt and that it the same spring water that God used. WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are people really falling for this load of claptrap?! Apparently so, according to ‘faith healer’ Peter. And why, if he is so dodgy, which he clearly is, are they letting him still advertise his nonsense potion?

So, who is this wheeler-dealer taking people’s money and passing off flat Mountain Dew as the world’s solution to poverty?

Peter Popoff is a self-proclaimed prophet who conducts revival meetings and has a national television program. He initially rose to prominence in the 1980s, but went bankrupt in 1987 after skeptics James Randi and Alexander Jason exposed his method of receiving information about revival attendees from his wife via an in-ear receiver. According to Fred M. Frohock, “the case of Peter Popoff is one of many egregious instances of fake healing”.

Sigh, get him off the air! (Although, to be fair, the fact that he was on air in the first place at least made for some amusement and this subsequent blog!)

We Brits might refer to him as a tw*t ;)

We Brits might refer to him as a tw*t 😉

My first PTA meeting….

So, today I experienced my first ever PTA thingymabob at the Back to School parent’s orientation meeting.

All kind of nonchalantly I mooched into the main hall at the school to be faced by a room of 400 parents, and there I am in my Daisy Dukes and my (still wet) bikini – I had just come from the pool, of course! – with just a light top thrown over….

Oh my, oh gosh,’ I think as I seem to flip-flop eveeerrrrrr sooooo sloooooowly allllll the waaaaay to the end of the room, past all the fully-clothed parents. Yes, all the other children’s parents appear to have put all their clothes on for the PTA meeting. I note there is even a woman in tights. ‘Why is she wearing tights?‘ I think to myself as 400 pairs of disapproving eyes follow my barely-covered arse to its seat.

In retrospect I was dressed in not a dissimilar fashion from Reese’s character in 'Mud' (which has a touch of the ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ about it). It has just dawned on me, however, that her character is what’s known as ‘white trash’…..oh dearie me.

In retrospect I was dressed in not a dissimilar fashion from Reese’s character in ‘Mud’ (which has a touch of the ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ about it). It has just dawned on me, however, that her character is what’s known as ‘white trash’…..oh dear me.

Well, once sat I decided to be a model parent and listen attentively.

I noted the following:

1. I am expected to do things with cookie dough. I don’t know what, and to be frank, the thought of it frightens me slightly.
2. There appears to be an obsession with Ziploc bags. Everyone must have a Ziploc bag in their backpack and anything that comes to school must be in a Ziploc bag, and that Ziploc bag should have your child’s name on it, and probably be in another Ziploc bag to keep it safe. I don’t have any Ziploc bags. They are now, of course, on the shopping list.
3. I am expected to volunteer for things, though I am again unsure what that entails, though given my initial appearance they might well consider me for fundraising car washes in the style of Cameron Diaz’s Bad Teacher…..(I guess that would make me Bad Parent).

Yeah, I think I might be pushing my luck with looking like that.....

Yeah, I think I might be pushing my luck with looking like that…..

So, obviously, I mentioned my escapade on Facebook: ‘Yep, typically inappropriately dressed in bikini and Daisy Dukes for the parents’ school orientation meeting.’ Which was met with resounding cries (posts) of: ‘Harper Valley PTA!!

Of course! (Side thought – poor Harry, I hope he doesn’t get a note…..)

And here is that very tune for your delectation.

(I had no idea there was a movie about it!)

Anyway, the PTA can call me if they want me! (But, unlike the movie, I shan’t be running for PTA President, just for the record.)

American public school system, I’m ready for you….are you ready for me?! 😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 208

Interpreting the Confederate flag

On my journeys so far I have not crossed paths much with the Confederate flag.

My young, ignorant British viewings of the flag came from, yes, you guessed it The Dukes of Hazzard and those naughty champs Bo and Luke riding in the General Lee, which hosted the flag on the roof…

You can't see much of the flag here, cos Daisy's got her arse on the roof, but I thought I would use this pic as I seem to remember my father has a soft spot for her....

You can’t see much of the flag here, cos Daisy’s got her arse on the roof, but I thought I would use this pic as I seem to remember my father has a soft spot for her….

Anyway, then as I grew up and through the VERY LITTLE that I learned about the Civil War at school (we were preoccupied with the Wars of the Roses and that conquering in 1066), and the movies that I watched (actually, predominantly North and South and Gone with the Wind), I acquainted the Confederate flag with the South, racism and, yes, a symbol of hate.

Having spotted the flag several times during the trip to the Eastern Shore, I commented upon its presence, maybe a little disturbed by it flying so high, and in a Northern State…..

A house in Easton, MD flies the flag

A house in Easton, MD flies the flag

An interesting Facebook conversation and debate about the flag ensued when I posted the picture, which has thus prompted me to try and interpret today’s Confederate flag….

FB friend 1: ‘V distrurbing. I’m currently in South Carolina, and you see the confederate flag everywhere down here. I even saw a bumper sticker that mentioned “not being ashamed of this flag”.’

Me: ‘Surprised to see it in Maryland….’

FB friend 1: ‘Yes, however, “our Maryland” is very different from most of the state. Living in the DC metro, we are surrounded by a highly educated population, whom are mostly transplants from other areas. The Eastern Shore for example, might as well be Arkansas….’

FB friend 2: ‘To some (not all) people in the South it doesn’t represent anything evil or racist, only a recognition of the confederacy and that people died in an ugly and bloody civil war.’

FB friend 3: ‘I’m in South Carolina and I haven’t seen too many confederate flags. Guess it depends where in the state you are.’

FB friend 1: ‘Come to Charleston….they’re everywhere.’

FB friend 4: ‘I lived in Hagerstown, MD and also close to Gettysburg, PA. I used to see it all the time and definitely not in a historic battlefield context.’

Jason Pressberg, a columnist for Pendulum online at Elon University in North Carolina (NC), writes an interesting paper about the flag and how it is interpreted:

‘The Confederate flag is still a symbol of southern pride. Visiting Wal-Mart, you’ll find it on bumper stickers, hats and t-shirts of the local Elon and Burlington (NC) customers that shop there. Many Elon students also have Confederate flag bumper stickers and paraphernalia.

‘Ask anyone who has this symbol, and they’ll most likely tell you it has something to do with “southern pride.” But if you’re a Northerner like me, you might become uneasy by this.

‘No matter where you grew up, you will very likely receive an extremely biased education, especially regarding the Civil War. The New York public school district that I was taught in left me with the impression that it was a battle between the North, the good guys, and the South, the bad guys. The Northerners were abolitionists, fighting from the good of their hearts to end slavery. The Southerners were the cruel masters of the slaves, fighting to keep their wicked slavery ideals.

Civil-War-1863-for-iPad

‘I also came to college thinking the Confederate flag was and is an evil symbol of hate. (Obviously, I was in for a rude awakening when I came to Elon.) But to the Southerners I’ve met that identify with it, they think of the flag as a symbol of the joys and values of being Southern. Many of these qualities, like common courtesy, are some of the things that are so refreshing about the South compared to New York. It’s not that people aren’t nice in the North; they just don’t care to be.

‘But the flag will never be an acceptable symbol, neither to Northerners, civil rights activists, or African-Americans. Sure, the flag no longer means the enforcement of slavery to most of the Southerners that associate with it, but some things will never change to those on the outside who view it.’

And I guess that’s why I find it uneasy to see in plain view, in the daylight, outside someones’s home…..

FYI, Jason concludes: ‘After the Holocaust, there was a movement in America to change the Swastika, once an aboriginal symbol of peace, back into its original meaning. The symbol, it was claimed, was once a good symbol and could be used for good again. The movement died when it became apparent that the world would forever associate Swastika’s with the Nazis, never again with anything to do with peace.

‘The Confederate flag, unfortunately, falls into the same category. You can try to change its meaning, but outsiders will always view it as a sign of hatred and bigotry.

‘This has real consequences, most notably in the Southern-dominated sport of Nascar. Blacks have been trying to be a part of the sport for years, but with symbols like the Confederate flag still prevalent at many Nascar races, it has been hard to stay focused. Why would anyone want to be a part of a system that encourages a racist flag to be flown at its events?’

Nascar....

Nascar….

Jason finishes by stating: ‘The Confederate flag has to go. There are many good qualities about the South, but there are other ways to glorify them than just this one. Its meaning has not and will not change: even if Southerners consider it to be just a symbol, it is still entrenched in racism.’

I often use Urban Dictionary for fun, inane or generally amusingly-inappropriate definitions of words, but this time, I think they’ve almost got it spot on… ‘The Confederate Flag: a flag that’s usually flown in the south, most of the time flown to represent southern pride and heritage, but sometimes is flown to represent white power and racism.’

And that’s why it’s so open to interpretation……

Ta-Ta London, Hello Awesome…..

A recent piece by US journo Sarah Lyall has had a mixed reception from different audiences. Some people love it, find it funny, amusing, touching. Some people wonder why she spent 18 years in the UK at all…..

This is her piece about London on her return to the USA…..

This sentence, particularly, might ruffle a few Brits’ feathers – or resonate…. ‘Britons admire and consume American culture, but feel threatened by and angry at its excesses and global dominance. They are both envious and suspicious of Americans’ ease and confidence in themselves. They want American approval but feel bad about seeking it.’

I do kind of agree with this…. ‘Who are we, and what is our place in the world? It wasn’t until the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games last summer, with its music medleys and dancing nurses and quotes from Shakespeare and references to Mary Poppins and sly inclusion of the queen and depictions of the Industrial Revolution and compendiums of key moments in British television history, that the country seemed to have found some sort of answer.’

(We did, at least, manage to re-establish our sense of patriotism without having to create a new Empire 😉 )

London, innit

London, innit

Brits, Americans…. your thoughts?

Patricia W. Murray

So, I met a lady at an event in Easton, MD. I noticed her as she scooted along and stopped to dance with the children. Smiling, she’s always smiling, I thought. She was vivacious, bright and cheerful – people flocked to her. Who was she, I wondered?

So I asked….and this is Patricia’s story.

‘I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Chiari Malformation & Mast Cell Disease, along with other maladies. Due to a fall in 2003, I was in braces, confined to a bed, and then wheelchair bound for 5 years. Due to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome I cannot heal properly and have had many surgeries, including brain surgery, along with many spinal surgeries. I am IV dependent for hydration and I use oxygen when needed.

‘I just started walking again in January 2011. I use a cane when needed, and many braces under my clothes. I have to wear my braces when hooping also.’

Patricia - inspirational.

Patricia – inspirational.

‘I have been hooping since I was three years old and was a Hoop Champ at the age of ten. I have been teaching hooping for almost two years, health permitting. I am also a Motivational Speaker and the President/Executive Director/Founder of the Murray-Wood Foundation for rare maladies.’

Wow. She was amazing, I tell you. See www.murraywoodfoundation.org for more about Patricia and her causes.

NB. This was Part 2 of the Eastern Shore blog – expect Part 3 tomorrow with all sorts of amusing bits and bobs in (including Peter Popoff’s God’s Own Mircale juice still to come!)….I’m too pooped to write anymore!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 207

The Pirate Captain

I forgot to write about the Chesapeake Pirate Adventure Experience in Annapolis. Sure, it was great to go out on a boat during a lovely day and be on the sea and all that, but this is the reason I enjoyed it most of all…

The complete and utter dish that was the Pirate Captain :)

The complete and utter dish that was the Pirate Captain 🙂 He made my timbers shiver….

Eastern Shore roadtrip, Part 1

Anyway, on to our latest American adventure. My observations follow!

1. The Eastern Shore is full of places with English names – Dover, Oxford, Cambridge, Salisbury. But, of course, they are nothing like our British cities and towns.

Despite the rain, Salisbury in the USA is not a bit like Salisbury in the UK :)

Despite the rain, Salisbury in the USA is not a bit like Salisbury in the UK 🙂

2. These towns felt very, very American and very, very different from our Columbia bubble. And the flag was everywhere – doorways, porches, main streets. I like the Eastern Shore; it’s fun, genteel, interesting and quaint.

America pride - it's everywhere

American pride – it surely is

264

3. St Michael’s was supposed to be the gem in this particular area, but to be honest I found it just okay – nice, pretty, lots of up market shops, but nothing superdooper going on. When I think of St Michael’s I can’t help but think of Marks and Spencer’s knicker labels…..

St Michael's - I digged the signage!

St Michael’s – I digged the signage!

4. For me it was the Assagateague Island and State Park that caught my breath, with its 38 miles of golden sands and wild horses. Just mesmerising.

193

200

213

492

5. I’m fascinated by American trailer parks. And there were lots of them. Well kept ones, mind you.

226

229

6. I learned about Harriet Tubman and her role in the Civil War – what a woman!

harriettubman

7. There are several scary place names that make me want to write a Scooby Doo episode…..Bonecreek Road; Hell’s Acre Road; Screamersville Rd… And would you believe it, we spotted the Scooby Doo mystery van! We totally should have hung around to see who was driving it!

Gone to get Scooby Snacks?

Gone to get Scooby Snacks?

8. Tilghman Island is kind of creepy, especially on a rainy day when it is deserted…..And there was something very similar to the Bates’ Motel, down a loooong path on the peninsula…… I think this might be the place to write my book in solitude…..

090

091

8. We British were not popular in 1812. I heard and read a lot about this war of 1812, that most people in Maryland have inscribed on their bumper plates. I began to hold my head low on a boat trip (where, bizarrely, we met a family who live just down the road from us in Clarksville) as the fight with the English in the Chesapeake was fully explained to me 😉

085

410

9. I love American street signs, old and new 🙂 They just look, oh, so American!

131

328

10. Some people’s bumper plates are worth taking pics of….aren’t American plates so much more fun than the British ones when you can totally just have whatever you want on there!?

154

Part 2 tomorrow, folks!

Part 2 taster……the Confederate flag, meeting inspirational people in Easton, baseball, murders in Atlanta, Peter Popoff Miracle juice and more! How can you miss it?!!!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 206

Drug deal!

Well, not quite. So here’s the tale…..

Today I was in Annapolis with Harry, having a mooch about the streets and lanes around the waterfront before boarding the Pirate Adventure ship. Annapolis is a lovely, genteel, historical place of nautical heritage and views of the Chesapeake, vintage shopping and waterfront eateries. It is wealthy and rather quaint.

Lovely!

Lovely!

Anyhow, as we are mooching along from our restaurant, having enjoyed fish tacos whilst overlooking the harbour, and two youths who were on the other side of the road spoke to us thus: “Blow or sauce?” I shook my head and carried on and they asked again, so I said “No thanks” and off we skipped on our merry way.

(I confess I had to double check ‘sauce’ on Google to make sure that they weren’t actually offering me bottle of ketchup at a great deal, but as I thought it confirmed I was being offered, as well the marjuana (blow), cocaine (sauce).)

What I found interesting was the reaction to this event, which I brushed off with this thought process: no harm done, Harry had not a clue, the lads were not in my face, yes I was surprised by it, and a little shocked that it had happened in pretty little Annapolis, but such is life and at least I could blog about it later 😉

(BTW, incase anyone is worried, I did tell the Pirates and they wanted to go out and get them with their cutlasses and hook hands, but then decided it was better just to call the police to inform them 🙂 )

So, I put this about it on Facebook after it had happened: ‘Two young gentlemen just asked me if I wished to purchase some 'blow or some sauce'. I declined politely. This is Annapolis! My sensibilities are rocked ;)’ (Note the wink!)

A reaction that I received from an American friend read thus: ‘Claire, why do you refer to these two people as gentlemen? They are drug dealers, and it does you no harm to refer to them correctly as dealers, not gentlemen. A gentleman is concerned about you and your well-being. A drug dealer just wants your money and doesn't give a damn about you. As for Annapolis, I would think it is a great place to sell drugs, the people are well off and naive, and they don't report dealers.

So, he's right, of course, they are drug dealers, but that is not what stood out for me about this response. It's nothing to do with the drugs, but about the difference between the American and British senses of humour and the use of sarcasm and irony.

irony2

I was being deliberately sarcastic about these two lads being 'gentlemen'. Of course they're not gentlemen! I was being intentionally ironic about their status; that is I was using the word 'gentlemen' to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning (which is probably 'scumbags').

So this leads me on to the subject of irony, and why do the Brits use it so much more than Americans?

Some examples of the British psyche….

sarcasm

irony

British irony looks like this..

Receiving an award at the Oscars – his second of the night – Ricky Gervais proffered the statuette and said simply: “Two bookends. Excellent.”

Los Angeles-based British actor Tim Curry didn’t pause for a second when asked what he missed most about the UK. “Irony,” he replied.

However, mega-hit shows such as The Simpsons, Friends, Seinfeld and Frasier, consistently use ironic situations to create comedic moments, and us Brits love them, right?!

Stand-ups such as Billy Crystal use irony as a staple of their act and the glorious M*A*S*H, from the 70s, had scripted banter dripping irony. How we loved M*A*S*H in the UK!

Reminder about irony again…..
‘Ill-timed or perverse arrival of event that is in itself desirable’
‘Literary technique in which audience perceives meanings unknown to the characters’ (Both from OED).

But some purists argue irony has wrongly become a synonym for sarcasm (oops, naughty me!)

Yet, in the UK we still believe that most Americans don’t get irony – I think my Facebook friend didn’t get my ironic intention in just that way.

David Freedman, a US comedy writer who now lives in the UK, believes the truth lies somewhere in between.

He says: “Americans do get irony, but to them there’s a time and a place for it. The time and place is in the evening, sitting down in front of the latest blockbuster sitcom.

“Where you get into trouble is dropping irony into an everyday conversation in America. In Britain you hear it all the time – irony and its more unsophisticated cousin, sarcasm.

“Americans, and I include in this my mom, take themselves too seriously to appreciate irony in everyday conversation. They don’t have time for it.”

What I find interesting is that The Office, Ricky Gervais’ masterpiece, was remade in the US, with different scripts and actors, and whilst it is very, very funny and brilliantly characterised, it doesn’t have quite the same tone to it. But you gotta make it for the audience, right?!

There's only one David Brent

There’s only one David Brent

But despite it all, Freedman concludes: “There’s no doubt the Americans have a sense of irony. If we didn’t we’d have thrown out Rhode Island years ago. That’s not a state. You can walk across it in about five steps.”

Interestingly (ironically?!), the best, and most witty, response to my Facebook status was from my American friend: ‘It must be a nice area, otherwise they would have offered you rock or crystal!

😉

Bulletproof whiteboards

According to the Baltimore Sun the University of Maryland Eastern Shore is adding a new piece of equipment to its classrooms – yep, bulletproof whiteboards. Golly gosh.

The school plans to spend $60,000 on bulletproof white boards because (say school officials) campus violence is a reality. They state that the bulletproof boards can provide a personal shield for professors under attack.

I couldn’t but help a wry smiles at this part of the report: ‘The high-tech tablet — which hangs on a hook, measures 18 by 20 inches and comes in pink, blue and green — can be used as a personal shield for professors under attack, according to the company that makes it, and a portable writing pad in quieter times.’

I’ll have pink, please 🙂

I remember when you could get detention for throwing a paper aeroplane at the chalkboard. How times have changed……

On a more serious note, this is the reason, the maker states, that these boards have come into being: “When Sandy Hook happened … a light bulb went off that it’s really the teachers and administrators who need protection. Those brave souls were trying to close the gap and get to the shooter and stop him, but they didn’t have anything that could stop the bullets along the way.”

How a bulletproof whiteboard can save lives

How a bulletproof whiteboard can save lives

So it’s high-profile incidents like Sandy Hook and the 2007 mass murder of 32 people at Virginia Tech which ultimately have led to the development of such a thing as a bulletproof whiteboard. That’s how it is today, sadly.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 205

American aisle in Tesco!

There’s an aisle in Tesco’s in the UK that has just American food! How exciting, trilled my friends back in the UK!

But let’s take a closer look at these shelves stacked with American goodness….

What a load of junk!

What a load of junk!

Oh dear, my teeth are grinding at the thought of all this candy! Naughty, naughty Tesco. Really, why add to the UK’s already sugar-infested junk food collection adorning the aisles?

Sigh.

A whole year in the USA

Yep, we’ve been in the USofA a whole year as of today. Wowsers.

It’s all been such a new, interesting, weird, crazy, odd, funny, brilliant, slightly surreal experience.

Here are some of my favourite pics from our time here so far:

Watching leopards shag at Baltimore Zoo

Watching leopards shag at Baltimore Zoo

A camel ride at the zoo

A camel ride at the zoo

Trying to understand Bob and Ronna and the whole real estate thing

Trying to understand Bob and Ronna and the whole real estate thing

The Chesapeake - beautiful

The Chesapeake – beautiful

Hurricane Sandy in Florida

Hurricane Sandy in Florida

Florida in general makes me smile :)

Florida in general makes me smile 🙂

Halloween in then USA is bloody brilliant!

Halloween in the USA is bloody brilliant!

Me and New York became great pals! I heart it a lot!

Me and New York became great pals! I heart it a lot!

Christmas in For Lauderdale :)

Christmas in Fort Lauderdale 🙂

I might not love the snow, but it looks mighty pretty ;)

I might not love the snow, but it looks mighty pretty 😉

The Sparkles and Spurs event, and meeting Dennis J. Lane

The Sparkles and Spurs event, and meeting Dennis J. Lane

Spring in DC

Spring in DC

Kooky Baltimore

Kooky Baltimore

Old Ellicott City - one of my fave places

Old Ellicott City – one of my fave places

Annapolis pub crawl - a fab town and a memorable event!

Annapolis pub crawl – a fab town and a memorable event!

Centennial Lake - just stunning

Centennial Lake – just stunning

Cowboys - I love 'em!

Cowboys – I love ’em!

Wine in the Woods - need I say more?!

Wine in the Woods – need I say more?!

Ocean City and Rehobeth - fun and charming and interesting!

Ocean City and Rehobeth – fun and charming and great for people watching!

My UK Desperate Housewife USA photoshoot :)

My UK Desperate Housewife USA photoshoot 🙂

Nightlife in DC and meeting new peeps!

Nightlife in DC and meeting new peeps!

Privileged to be part of a political campaign with Democrat 9B candidate Tom Coale

Privileged to be part of a political campaign with Democrat 9B candidate Tom Coale

Dancing with and watching the Harlem Globetrotters

Dancing with and watching the Harlem Globetrotters

Being part of the 4th of July parade in Clarksville

Being part of the 4th of July parade in Clarksville

Visiting Amish land - fascinating

Visiting Amish land – fascinating

Sitting by the pool - A LOT ;)

Sitting by the pool – A LOT 😉

Going to the best gay pool party - EVER!

Going to the best gay pool party – EVER!

Chesapeake Shakespeare - dreamy!

Chesapeake Shakespeare – dreamy!

I have met some truly amazing people, who have welcomed this Brit with warmth and kindness. The things that has struck me is how interested people are – and how very interesting. We have friends and community and that counts for so much – meaning I am getting to know and understand the American way of life even more.

However, I have so many things to find out about America and Americans still – it’s all to play for! And whilst I am still a tourist, with an endless bucket list, I feel at home in the USA. How awesome is that! 😉

I know I’ve adopted some of the lingo, because I got chided for saying ‘cell phone’ when I was back in the UK. Plus, I now just call the ‘loo’ the bathroom, because it’s just easier (although I see disappointment in the eyes of some Americans who were hoping I would say ‘loo’ or ‘toilet’ in my British accent) 🙂 And I guess I do call them ‘fries’….but I still call it a ‘boot’, not a ‘trunk’…and it amuses me to say ‘bum’ and ‘bottom’ in front of Americans…..but I still refuse to say ‘potty’…!!

🙂

P.S. To the the guy who stumbled across my site by tapping in ‘British housewife playing with herself’, I’m sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for here, but I hope you had a nice evening anyway, and found something more up your alley elsewhere….. 😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 204

Storms are a’comin’

Apparently from 15 August it is officially storm season. To be honest, it’s been pretty much storm season for most of the summer, but I guess this just means the storms get more frequent and intensify.

storms

Storms here really are much bigger than in the UK. Everything just seems bigger, like the butterflies, the portions of food and the robins (actually I don’t think they are robins, they are just big birds with a bit of red on them).

Obladi, oblada life goes on

Yesterday I attended a meeting for my buddy Tom Coale, who is running for the House of Delegates in District 9B. This is USA politics, and I am volunteering to be part of Tom’s team to support events, PR and communications. I am supporting him because a) he is a top bloke, b) he stands for all the things I believe in c) he is genuine, passionate and sees that the time is ripe for opportunity in Ellicott City and d) if I lived in Ellicott City, District 9B and I could vote (which I can’t) I would vote for him.

How will this PR experience in politics differ from my experience in the UK? Well, firstly, I don’t think we would have had a meeting in such a glamorous location, and secondly, whilst I believe communications and PR skills are transferable across many areas of work, in order for them to be fully transferable across the Atlantic, I have to understand USA politics in full, because the process is entirely different from the UK way.

So first off, here is my British Idiot’s Guide to USA politics:

* The US is a federal republic of 50 states.

*The framers of the Constitution, drafted in 1787, wanted to block any individual or group from gaining too much control, so they established a government of separate institutions that share powers.

*Authority is divided into three tiers of national, state and local government, with the American people electing officials to serve in each tier.

*At the national level the government is split into three autonomous branches – legislative, executive and judicial.

*Each has its own distinct responsibilities, but they can also partially limit the authority of the others through a complex system of checks and balances.

government_system_inf629_3

For a really good overview of how it works, see here. It sure helped me!

So where was this glamorous location at which we met? The Obladi Hotel – the only hotel in Ellicott City.

This hidden gem is amazeballs! I had to concentrate really hard on the politics stuff because I was distracted by the Beatles all around me! John, Paul, George and Ringo were hanging out in every room.

The hotel is a shrine to the Beatles. The four bedrooms are named after the Fab Four and there are images of them everywhere.

You have to knock on the door and ask to look round – it is so worth it! The Obladi is a historic building dating back to 1838. You can totally tell that it has been lovingly renovated by owners T Garland and Zan Wilson.

Take a look!

obladi1

obladi2

obladi3

obladi4

025

029

032

Also, on the answer phone message they actually finish by saying ‘Obladi, Oblada!’ – haha! (Not my fave Beatles song, but hey ho!)

Ellicott City just gets better every time I visit it. I love this place!

Lifeguards HoCo style

With only two weeks to go until the pools close, it would be remiss of me not to mention the lifeguards at the local pools here in Columbia, MD.

These guys and gals take a summer job and train hard to be lifeguards at the 23 pools in the area. I guess it must be quite a stressful job with all those kids to keep an eye on, but let me tell you they are fabulous! They learn your name, the kids’ names, help out with swimming lessons, and make the pools a totally friendly place to go and hang out (I still think there should be a bar there tho!)

Harry’s a bit in love with Heather at the River Hill pool, so he posed for a picture by the American flag with her (which he then tried to dress himself in, much to Heather’s horror – he doesn’t realise the sanctity of that flag!)

Hats off to the lifeguards, they are brillopads!

Hats off to the lifeguards, they are brillopads!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments