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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 193

Posted on July 29, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

A slice of American suburbia

A feature on the Daily Mail US site (yes, I am reading the DM again – sigh) featured a group of photos capturing the American middle class dream. It’s interesting to see, and from living here now I can see that most of that does really and truly exist. However, they all look really bloody miserable.

A typical middle class weekend?

The American version of the TV dinner

BUT – is this really the middle class dream of America…? I need to know!

Outdoor Shakespeare USA style

Last night we had the good fortune to attend the Chesapeake Shakespeare Company’s production of Taming of the Shew outside and very marvellous it was too.

What was I in for? After all, I contemplated beforehand, this is Americans doing Shakespeare and I have seen the movie attempts and Shakespeare is so….well so very British!

Check out my review for the Baltimore Post Examiner – how did my English ear feel to have Americans spout forth my beloved prose, and what was my son’s impression of his first Bard encounter….?

And now for something a bit controversial……

Look away now, if you are American and get offended. I ummed and ahhed about whether or not to post Nick’s interview here, because I am not blogging to cause divisions…..however, an interview is an interview – and much of this is positive, but this Brit also has strong opinions, so let’s hear it Nick…..

Nick’s Views

(Nick’s words follow….!)

Nick Stern grew up in the Hertfordshire suburbs. He occasionally attended school and didn’t really achieve very much in the way of qualifications. His interest and passion first led him to a career as an electronics technician. At the age of 30 he sat on a Spanish beach with a bottle of sangria and decided he wanted to become a photographer.

He has spent the next 18 years travelling to over 45 countries , covering news events including civil unrest, earthquakes, murders, drug and people trafficking for media outlets including The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday, National Inquirer, The BBC, CNN, New york Daily News, The Mirror, Mail on Sunday and many more. And going to swingers’ parties for the News of the World. After a number of photo assignments in the USA he decided to move to LA, where he now resides. He is single with a very hot Persian/American girlfriend.

Nick

What do you enjoy most about living in the USA?
For me the lifestyle in Southern California is the biggest pull. I love a simple life style where I can choose how much I work and really make the most of my free time. SoCal is great for hiking, working out, taking care of your health and fitness, no one thinks you are crazy if you work out every day and cycle 50 miles on a day off. Los Angeles is an unusual city in the no-one works 9 to 5. So you can always grab a late lunch with a friend or hike at 3pm with a pal.

Nick and Ziggy

Hollywood in particular has a unique feel to it. People are arriving here everyday in search of their dream. This brings with it an amazing positivity. New arrivals believe anything is positive. many leave after a year or two having failed to find fame and fortune, only to be replaced by more newbies.

What do you miss about the UK?
LA has four seasons. Winter – warm and dry. Spring – warm and dry. Summer Even warmer and drier. And Fall – still warm and dry. One thing you take for granted is the seasons. I really miss that. Waking up on a Sunday morning to the sound of rain on the window, and cold November nights with that smell in the air as it approaches November 5th. Oh and Twiglets.

Some of Nick’s work hits The Sun in the UK

What differences do you still encounter?
The Irish writer George Bernard Shaw once said: ‘England and America are two countries divided by a common language’. That is so true. Try ordering a ‘bottle of water’. The US continent is so vast and the cultural differences from one region to another are huge, even greater than neighbouring European countries. The wealth/poverty divide is very evident, and something many american make no apologies for, intact the wealthy wear it as a badge of honour. something that separates them from the needy.

The best thing about being a Brit in the USA?
Americans seem to perceive us Brits as more intelligent and cultured than their own trailer living brethren. This can be a great advantage and immediately elevates your status and value. Once the language barrier is over come they quite enjoy the British accent. I get a way with using a whole host of four-letter expletives the sound of which my LA friends just seems to enjoy. I was once asked what language they speak in London!

Nick’s photography

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
I think most of the myths and preconceptions are pretty much true. In Vegas people are fat, in the south they drive trucks and drink moonshine, on the West Coast they are all hippies and on the East they are so far up their own asses they never see the light of day.

😉

I look forward to comments on this….!

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American middle class dream, Americans, Baltimore Post Examiner, Blog, British, Chesapeake Shakespeare Company, Daily Mail, east coast, Ellicott City, expat, fall, fintess, fitness, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, LA, New of the World, Nick Stern, Patapsaco Female Insititute, photography, seasons, Southern California, suburban, swingers, Taming of the Shrew, The Bard, Thoughts, UK, USA, water, weather, West Coast | 25 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 192

Posted on July 28, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Schooling in the USA vs Schooling in Europe

Schooling is different in the USA. Fact. Living in Maryland, I am told often that the schools are the best and that they perform in the top 3 every year, which, as a parent, is fabulous to hear.

However, I also hear stories about the ‘civilisation’ or ‘socialisaton’ aspects that accompany the education – and I tend to wrinkle my nose in disbelief and say ‘Really?!‘ in my very British manner.

Kids today at my old boarding school – ah, memories!

One such story is that, at a Middle School in Columbia, there is a red, amber, green light system during lunch in the hall. Red = no talking; amber = whispering only; and green = you may talk (this lasts for about 30 seconds at a time). In addition, allegedly there is a lady on a microphone who sits watching and randomly blurts out ‘no talking!’ if people disobey.

So, this bothers me. There is discipline and there is weirdness. This is weirdness. Mealtimes are sociable times, are they not? Lively chatter, banter, encouraging development of social skills and relationships – surely this is what sitting and eating with your friends and peers is all about.

I recall mealtimes at school in the dinner hall were a lively, noisy, wonderful affair where us kids learnt about each other, could debate subjects, tell amusing stories about the day that had passed so far, and where special bonds were formed. Also, we used to leg it down the chapel steps, skid round the corner and bump into our friends as we joined the lunch queue. And guess what, we’re alright for it!

I wrinkle my nose and furrow my brow in total disbelief at the traffic light nonsense.

However, I am also fully aware that my son will getting one of the best Elementary School educations in the country when he starts at the end of August, so at least there is that to be thankful for!

Eating and talking – heaven forbid!

It intrigues me still to know about the differences in the social aspects of schooling in Europe and the USA. So what differences does one USA middle schooler encounter in her European/International schools? Victoria asked her daughter this question and they spent some [quality] time comparing and contrasting, with some interesting results.

US versus European Schooling

Our children attend a private “International School” and not an Austrian public school. The international school, though is very similar to the US public system they attended in that both have a small student population that is rich in international diversity (dozens of languages spoken, a high percentage of the students have lived and attended school outside of the US, etc.) All of us who enroll our students in the international school, non-American families as well, desire the rigorous, American School-accredited education for our students.

The refreshing difference in the international school is the absence of the one-size-fits-all rules that squelch the development of self-confidence, independence and critical thinking.

Here are some of the absurdities in our US school system, and for comparison, in the international school.

1. Middle school students are not permitted to walk to or from school because–gasp!–they may have to cross a street with a 25mph speed limit (with sidewalks and crossing signals).

I had a relatively lengthy discussion with our US middle school principal on this topic before we left, explaining that our daughter was first-aid certified and had spent the previous summer at Girl Scout camp, learning to tip and upright a sunfish on the Potomac River (among other skills); and that we, as her parents, felt that she was mature enough to walk to and from school. The principal’s toe-the-line, one-size-fits-all response was that “it just isn’t safe.” “Safety” was a topic best left for a school assembly, as if enough educational time isn’t wasted in the public school classroom.

Walking to school!

School students across Vienna, both public and private routinely walk (or scooter) to and from school, navigating the public transportation system like the confident young adults they are learning to become. The few crossing guards here are at only the busiest intersections near a school (and only in the mornings.)

2. “Locker Orientation” is held prior to the start of middle school to give students a chance to learn how to use a combination lock so that no one would be embarrassed on the first day of school. Because, of course, no one is embarrassed, ever, in real life.

Austria. None such nonsense.

3. The US middle school students are required to sit with their homeroom class for lunch. The school did not want students to feel left out should they have no one to sit with. Because, of course, no one is left out in real life.

Here lunch can be eaten anywhere and with anyone—the cafeteria, outdoors, in the classroom—or not at all. The school does not concern itself with whether students eat their lunches, or what they eat, for that matter; that responsibility rightly falls to the parent.

4. Vending Machines. In the US, vending machines are the spawn of evil, more so if they contained “junk” food. If they are not banned entirely, they are filled with “healthy” options.

Here in Austria, not only does the school have vending machines available to all MS and HS students, filled with both “good” and “bad” choices, but there is also a hot beverage machine selling coffee, hot chocolate, and tea.

(Our US school system participates in “Turn off the TV Week.” An entire week’s worth of activities were arranged to motivate the little darlings to get up from their sofas. One of the “rewards” for having participated in the events a few years ago was a coupon for a free Starbucks Frappucino — 450 calories and 57g of sugary goodness. The irony of the “reward” was obviously lost on the parents who planned the week.)

5. In the US school, outdoor recess was a joke. Good weather? No running on the asphalt. No tackle sports of any kind. No picking up sticks or rocks, either. Organized games were preferred, so that no one would feel left out on the playground.

Cycling in the snow – whatever next! 😉

A “Jacket Guide” indicated the outdoor temperatures at which a jacket was either required or optional. Any student who removed their jacket was sent to the cafeteria for the remainder of recess. As our middle-school runs warm, quite often she wouldn’t even bother going outside if it meant she had to wear a jacket. But, those one-size-fits-all rules serve to “protect” students, right?

And, if that isn’t ridiculous enough, a student who went outdoors without their jacket on a “jacket optional” day was not permitted to change their mind and get their jacket—they were sent inside to the cafeteria for the remainder of recess.

Outdoor recess was likely to be canceled if the weather was “cold,” to protect students who did not come to school properly dressed, effectively punishing those students who dressed properly. Throwing snowballs was a no-no, naturally.

Austria. None such nonsense. Recess is “Go outside and play.” You’re cold? Put your jacket on. You’re hot? Take your jacket off.

6. Designated stairwells and hallways. The rule was that any MS student caught walking “outside” of their hallway/stairwell at any time was made to return to their starting point and use the appropriate route. Because, of course, a Grade 6 student taking the shorter route via the Grade 5 hallway to class is not resourceful, but a safety threat to others.

Finally, a word or several about organized sports. This is not a comparison so much as it is an observation and an appreciation for one of the privileges and opportunities afforded by living overseas.

Most public middle schools in the US do not offer interscholastic athletics; at best, perhaps intramural athletics in the most motivated schools. The international school systems are different. Middle school students participate in organized sports against students from both local schools and other international schools here. In the last year our middle school student ran cross-country in the fall (a combined team with the HS); played basketball in the winter; and was a sprinter/long jumper on the spring Track & Field team (again, a combined team with the HS).

The teams travel outside of Austria for competitions and tournaments. Yes, middle school and high school students board buses and trains, and sometimes planes. Days are missed from school. There is designated “homework time” while traveling; and exams were made up over lunch or after school.

Kids love going outdoors – especially boys, who have sooooo much energy!!

Parental investment makes this system work. In order to keep the travel costs low, it is expected that families with student athletes will house athletes when their school is hosting an event. Think a weekend-long foreign exchange student experience, several times during the school year!

Our students have spent weekends with a Mexican family in Switzerland (“best food ever!” was the response upon return); British families in Frankfurt and Munich; and American families in London, to name a few. We’ve housed Russian students from Zagreb, Sri Lankans from Brussels, and Californians from Dubai. New friendships have been made, kept strong through Facebook and Instagram.

International girls in Gibraltar! (Can you spot me!?)

I can not envision a program like this in the US. Somehow, someway, just enough parents would protest the “unfairness” of some aspect of it, and the whole notion would become over-lawyered in a heartbeat.

Our middle school student will be in high school upon our anticipated return to the US, thankfully having missed those “awkward years” in our over-priced zip code and over-parented middle school.

What are your thoughts and views on schooling in the USA, and what other tales that might make me wrinkle my nose might there be of interest……

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Austria, Blog, British, camp, children, Columbia, Culture, dinner hall, education, elementary schol, Europe, expat, Frappuccino, Girl Scouts, Howard County, International school, kids, lockers, maryland, middle school, Potomac River, recess, school, schooling, socialising, sport, Starbucks, traffic light system, Travel, Turn the TV off Week, UK, USA, vending machine, walking to school | 14 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 191

Posted on July 27, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

High school lockers

Why high school lockers today? Because they are iconic to us Brits and epitomise American high school.

In the movies and TV series all the romances, arguments, life-changing adolescent happenings take place at the locker. The locker holds private photos, images of people the students wants to be and people they are sweet on, the books always fall out and the doors get slammed in anger or passion, or in the face of the bullied by the bullies. The locker represents USA fears, dreams, and youth.

Think Glee, Grease, the Breakfast Club, Beverly Hills 90210, Pretty Little Liars…..

Ah, the Breakfast Club - a proper teenagers' movie

Ah, the Breakfast Club – a proper teenage coming of age movie

A recent comment on my blog read thus about high school lockers:

“Locker Orientation” is held prior to the start of middle school to give students a chance to learn how to use a combination lock so that they would not be embarrassed on the first day of school. Because, of course, no one is embarrassed, ever, in real life.

Yes, that’s for real! Sigh.

Locker room issues

Question: why, in the movies or TV shows, is the locker for the characters always at head height and never one of the ones on the bottom row so they are crouching down? Interesting…

If you are interesting character, yours will be on the top row 🙂

Drive thru beer

Yes, correct. Let me repeat that. DRIVE THRU BEER. There is a place called Brew Thru, and you just pull up, order your beer without getting out the car, and they pop your beer in the trunk/boot of the car. Job done.

Brew Thru, however, does not exist in Maryland – heaven forbid! The main drive thrus are in North Carolina, apparently.

Make mine a Bud Light, please

Growing up in Maryland

Dale grew up here, and, as a gay man, has experienced a welcome change in attitude towards the gay community. I’m fascinated by the fact that laws across the US differ so dramatically towards gay rights, so I asked Dale to share his story.

This is Dale’s Tale

What was it like growing up in the USA? What kind of things influenced you?

I grew up on a 40 acre farm in Baltimore County, where my Dad and Mom had a construction business and my grandfather farmed about 30 acres of it. My summers were spent working with my grandfather picking vegetables, and occasionally I would get to drive the tractors. I have picked more tomatoes than most people will eat in their lifetime. My sister would work at the produce stand with my grandmother. My grandfather would share stories from his time in the service (WWII) and talk politics with me. We would also talk about cars and all sorts of things. We were really never at a loss for conversation. He would wake me up every morning at around 5:30 AM to pick the corn, after dropping the corn back off at the produce stand he would take me to breakfast at “the dirty spoon” with all the other old men and me. Same thing every day, two eggs over medium, breakfast potatoes, toast and a LARGE chocolate milk.

Dale

We had a golden retriever that would also spend the days with my grandfather and I in the fields, he loved to pick tomatoes and corn too! That love of the breed follows me to this day as my husband and I have two Golden Retrievers.

Christmas was a huge deal to me growing up. I loved all things Christmas, and that carries through today. My husband and I put up seven Christmas trees.

I had my first trip to DisneyWorld as a boy scout and was mesmerized, and still am a huge Disney fan to this day. We took many family vacations there in my teen years. I did two internships there in college, and that’s where my husband and I met on the same internship program.

I honestly can’t think of anything else too remarkable about my childhood. I had a circle of friends in middle school and high school. We had all the typical high school drama which looking back on is pretty funny now. I met my best friend in middle school, and we are still besties today. I’m gay and she’s a lesbian, funny how that worked out? I’m still close with another friend as well from my high school days.

As a gay man in the US, how do you think attitudes have changed to homosexuality and are there still issues you think should be resolved?

Absolutely things have changed. We are experiencing such a rapid pace of change right now, it’s really quite exciting. Like any other civil rights struggle in our history, people will look back and wonder why these were such battles? When we recently voted in Maryland on the issue of same-sex marriage we had several friends tell us that we changed or influenced their decision to vote in favor of marriage equality. Not that they would have been against it before necessarily, but that knowing us made it that much more important to go out and vote for our right to marry. It was really quite emotional.

Dale and Jeff celebrate their 15 year anniversary

Do things still need to be resolved? Yes. There are people who still feed into people’s ignorance about homosexuality, that it’s a choice or an illness, etc. People that still try to say that people like me are harmful to children, society, etc. I know that there will always be ignorance, but that doesn’t mean we should stop trying to educate people on the facts and be open and honest about who we are. One of the best things a gay or lesbian person can do is be open and honest about who they are, that’s the best way to change minds and people’s perceptions.

Is there a real difference in attitudes across the USA to homosexuality?

Unfortunately yes. We happen to live in an area where it is very accepted and I have been out to my family and work for as long as I can remember now. There are other parts of the country where religious leaders continue to pound away at the “evils of homosexuality”, which I find both scary and sad. I am hopeful though that a younger generation will begin to speak their minds more in these parts of the country. The same type of people used to use religion as well to justify slavery or not giving women the right to vote.

Dale and Jeff in Greece

Having visited Europe, what aspects of their culture really appealed to you?

The rich history, walking on roads that are from the 5th century BC, is surreal. We love us some old marble! I also love finding the “non-touristy” restaurants and asking the server for the most authentic cuisine to the area and for any local wines. We’re both foodies, so that is a major part of our travels, having good food! One day in Italy we were taken to a place where there was a one way road into a small town of 50 or so people, to a small restaurant on the side of a cliff overlooking a vineyard. No one spoke English (except our tour guide), and they just brought out the dishes they were most proud of. The most delicious mozzarella I’ve ever had, and all homemade pasta and fresh vegetables/meats from the area. After our meal, they took us down to a wine cellar that dated back to the 5th century BC. I poked my head into the kitchen to try and tell the ladies who prepared our meal how much I enjoyed it, there was a language barrier for a little bit and they just kept pointing to the host stand, once they figured out what I was trying to say there was lots of smiles and “Grazie!” and “Prego!” and hugs exchanged.

Finding the moments when you can have a conversation with someone half-way (1/3?) across the world is also something I enjoy. When in Turkey we were having a traditional Turkish meal at a local family farm, which was delicious. But what was most striking in our mind was the conversation that we had with the owner of the farm/tour company. She sat down and was talking about the struggle with the young people and their desire for a secular government and the Islamic leaders who were trying to tamp down on freedoms. She started to talk about how proud she was of the young people in her country and how they were standing up for their rights through non-violent protests. She began to cry as she spoke about being hopeful about Turkey’s future because of how engaged the young people were. I mean, how fortunate were way to meet this person, have this conversation and have this insight? Our day in Turkey was amazing, I loved the sights in Ephesus, and learning about rug weaving, and the food at the farm was delicious. But sitting down with these people and having a conversation about their country and their struggle for civil rights and getting someone’s first-hand perspective, priceless.

Yeah, strong Dale!

Tell me five things that you love about being a US citizen.

1 – Our history, looking at how far we have come in such a short amount of time in all manners of things makes me proud.

2 – That we are technically supposed to be a secular society. From the very beginning there was a separation of church and state. Looking at what happens in some other parts of the world with “religious law” and how harmful that is to society is quite scary. To face the prospect of being locked-up or sentenced to death for being gay is frightening.

3 – Our “melting pot” society. We have many friends from different backgrounds, African-American, Korean, Hispanic, Italian, German, Christian, Jewish, Atheists, etc – I know that may not be totally unique to the US, but I enjoy talking to people and learning about their culture, traditions, etc.

4 – We have Walt Disney World! And Manhattan, and Vegas, and the Grand Canyon and the Appalachian mountains.

Now that’s a view…

5 – Our quality of life. I don’t think people sometimes realize how good we have it here and how relatively low our taxes are compared to other parts of the world. Travelling through Europe, I people even talk about how much easier it is to accomplish things here if you want to be an entrepreneur for example. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being critical of government or our leaders; I just think that criticism is often misplaced.

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, Appalachian mountains, asolescence, Baltimore, Baltimore County, beer, Beverley Hills 90210, Blog, Brew Thru, British, Christmas, civil rights, Culture, Dale Knight, Disneyworld, Drive thru beer, Europe, expat, farm, food, gay, gay rights, Glee, Grand Canyon, Grease, Greece, high school lockers, history, hocoblogs@@@, hocohomos, homosexual, Howard County, Locker Orientation, Manhatten, maryland, melting pot, religion, teenagers, The Breakfast Club, Travel, turkey, Turkish, UK, USA, Vegas, weather | 3 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 190

Posted on July 26, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Rudey-nudey killjoys in the UK

Look, in Europe (yes, the UK is in Europe!) we’re not adverse to a bit of nudity. In fact, we like it – generally. So the council shirt and tie killjoys in Clacton are trying to prevent a good old bit of seaside nudity.

Ya-boo-sucks to them ;(

CAUTION: SEMI-NUDITY FOLLOWS!!!

What’s not to like about a nudey bike ride?!

Clacton-on-Sea in Essex has been the venue for a sponsored skinny-dip and a nude bike ride in the past few weeks, with many locals saying the fun events livened up the area. Of course it does! It’s a bit of fun whilst getting in a bit of amusing willy-watching!

The good old British seaside 🙂

On second thoughts, maybe it’s not everyone’s cup of tea….!

Would this sort of thing happen in the USA? Definitely NOT IN MARYLAND!! 😉 What do you think….?!

The differences between the East Coast and the West Coast

I asked a friend, who has recently moved to Maryland, what she thought the differences are between the two coasts. It interests me. After, all they are thousands of miles apart, have different laws, climate and demographics.

Here’s her response:

My view of East Coast/West Coast Differences

I have lived in Southern California all of my life (62 years). And although I have only lived here in Maryland for a short time, I see many differences.

1. First, and probably most obvious, is the weather. It really is true that it’s sunny almost of year in Southern California and when we do get rain, it’s not for very long. It can get hot in the summer but very rarely breaks 100 and we typically don’t have any humidity. It does get cloudy at the coast at times, but when it burns off, it’s gorgeous. On the East Coast, I do enjoy the seasons but it does take some getting used to when it snows.

In California people say “That’s cool dude” but here, they say “It’s cold dude”! And in the winter you just need a surfboard, here you need a snow shovel! That’s the big weather difference for me. Oh, and the humidity is a tough one too. However, it’s definitely good for the skin! In California my closet is usually filled with shorts and short sleeve tops, but now my closet has lots of sweaters, jeans and boots!

But I do love seeing the seasons change. It’s beautiful and can’t be beat on the East Coast. The fall is gorgeous here and what’s better than a white Christmas?

A white Christmas

2. The directions on the east coast feel really different to me, too. In California you have 4 landmarks to guide you; to the North are the mountains, to the South, San Diego, to the East is Palm Springs, and to the West is Los Angeles. When I’m here, I don’t know where I am without my four landmarks. That’s something I have to figure out. However, the public transportation is way better on the East Coast. It’s a lot easier to get work, to the city and attractions here by train or metro. The public transportation in California or lack, thereof, is hilarious. Now in San Diego, where I lived, it was a bit better. There are trolley stations that can take you to the ballpark or downtown and there is the Amtrak Coaster that can take you up and down the coast all the way to Santa Barbara. But as for getting from point A to point B, forget it. Californians love their cars so no one has come up with a good way to get people to work. So, freeways are crowded and packed and if you’re in LA, you would be crazy to get on a metrolink. It won’t take you very far!

Woa! The LA roads….

3. I do love the history on the East Coast and all of the places you can go to relive it. There is so much to see in DC and you are just a train ride from NYC, Boston or Philly. To be able to get on a train and go to see a play on Broadway or a concert in the city is so great. You can hit all the memorable and historic ballparks in Baltimore and NYC where baseball history was made. There’s lots of things to see and do. In California, the history is still on the younger side, although the California missions are beautiful and definitely have a story to tell. I do miss being able to go to Disneyland whenever I wanted and the beaches were so close. But there is Disneyworld and lost of beautiful East Coast beaches to visit. I am looking forward to exploring all there is to see and do on this side of the country.

California beaches

4. Although I think the food choices are pretty similar on East and West Coast, there are some differences I’ve found. In California, you do have lots of authentic Mexican food and lots of great burgers. I miss “In and Out” burgers, that’s for sure. But, in NYC, you can’t beat the Italian food and pizza and being Italian, that is way better than Mexican food and burgers for me! My husband loves seafood and that is for sure better here is Maryland and on the East Coast. So all in all, I think food choices are pretty similar given the locations.

5. The economy actually mirrors California, in my opinion. The house prices are very similar, especially in Howard County but you do get basements! We don’t have those in California and I think they are awesome! The property tax, however, is a lot higher here but the sales tax is lower so that helps. The gas is actually almost the same, too. It’s just as expensive here and a bit more in California right now because of the summer blend. I don’t know about car registration and car insurance yet but I will in a few weeks! All in all, I think Maryland and California economies are very similar.

Lovely Ellicott City

6. The people seem the same to me on both coasts. At first, I thought California folks were more laid back and friendly. I think it was just so different for me and I was a bit homesick. But now that I’ve been here a little longer, I find East Coast people are friendly, kind and helpful. And I have met some beautiful people and made some good friends. I also think the school systems are far better here and Ellicott City, where I now live, seems like a great place to raise a family.

My conclusion is that the differences between the two coasts will make my move an exciting adventure and I’m looking forward to experiencing East Coast living which is at its finest in Howard County!

Rockin’ Rose

Rose is a USA blogger in the UK. She writes cool stuff, and weirdly (cos we know it really is a small world after all), she is friends with the lass who took over my PR job back in the UK. Love six degrees of separation and all that.

This is How Rose Sees It….

Cheers Rose!

Hello!! My name is Rose Rocca and I am a true midwestern all-American gal from the small suburbs (kinda rural-ish) outside of Youngstown, Ohio. The city of Youngstown is famous for ties to the mafia and longest reigning title of highest murder rate per captia (population)! Ha! We reside currently near Leominster, home of the sheep, sheep and sheep. The village is famous for the warp speed of time it takes your nose to get slapped by smell of cow excrement. I’m not sure if that’s true, but I’m pretty impressed by its potency!

I met my British husband while he was working in the USA and we have been married for a little over 5 years. We have a son, Weston, who began his schooling in the UK and is now nearly 11 years old. Work has been a sincere drawback for me as the area we live in is not very prosperous and is mostly a rural economy. I applied to many restaurants, shops and administrative positions looking for anything and have a stack of rejection letters to prove it. I have my bachelors degree and worked in the financial advising/insurance industry for 8+ years prior to move. I am currently halfway through an intense Hot Power Yoga teacher training and plan on being self employed once completed.

What do you enjoy most about living in the UK?
I love that my son gets to go to a school that’s has campus grounds comparable to Hogwart’s. My American friends joke that Weston is practicing to be a wizard. Personally, I enjoy the fashion and an over-all realistic positivity in general that is much more apparent in comparison in the British culture.

A British school?

What do you miss about the USA?
I miss wider roads, cheaper everything, restaurants galore, customer service oriented, & no queues! Convenience!

What differences do you still encounter?
The working environment is much more laid back. Fulltime = 37.5 hours/week in UK while 40+ hours is fulltime in USA. Also UK is very generous with maternity leave while USA gives 6 weeks or 8 weeks if you have a C-section.

Americans are loud. And proud. And full of egotistical patriotism. I think it’s great…in America. Please come to another country and be quiet. Enjoy and take in your surroundings with humility.

I also think its ok to NOT have to speak to EVERY person who crosses your path. I find my eternal smile is met sometimes with a frosty glare…but I keep smiling because I think in the back of my mind I just turned that frown upside a little upside down! 4. The best thing about being an American in the UK? Ha!!! No matter how many times or how many ways I try to explain I don’t live in London, my American friends/family just don’t get it! England = London They also think I am BFFs with Kate/Wills…

Are these guys not Rose’s BFFs?!

Otherwise, I think it is great being a ‘foreigner’. I can use that excuse any and all the time. Like when I dressed up as a victim of a knife throw gone wrong and dropped Weston off at his ‘poshy’ private school for Halloween, equipped with gravestone cupcakes I might add! I was quickly stopped by the headmistress who chose her words carefully like, “Rose…I can appreciate your efforts…(long pause)…however we are a Christian faith school and some parents may have some qualms about your enthusiasm…”. Big OOPS!

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and the UK do you think actually exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
USA

*We all aren’t cowboys/gals…and don’t talk with a southern accent.

*Although some Americans complain about the USA, I guarantee they wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

*We are dramatic in our speech – extremism, over usage of adjectives/verbs!

*Most families from Ohio think nothing of driving the 21 hours to Florida for a weeks worth of family vacation.

*It thunderstorms, snows past your thighs and temperatures soar well in the 90sF and the average American will not bat an eyelash at tornado warnings just ensure basement is stocked with drinks and candles and lots of warm blankets!

Not all American gals look like this…. 😉

*In the movies it always shows England beautifully blanketed with fluffy white snow…when it snows in England it is actually gone by 10am but that is not before they have shut down schools, businesses and the shops!! Oh and all the snow shovels have been sold out in 5 minutes! Causing Mass Pandemonium!

*The weather is mostly grey and too cold for my liking.

*At least where I live or maybe company I keep (!) the British culture does tend to enjoy alcohol more than the average American.

*I feel a little safer knowing not every Joe Schmoe can have a gun in the UK.

PS.
I love the opportunities and experiences I have had and will have while I reside in England…I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It has made me really examine my life and appreciate everything more.

PPS. I have never seen so much dust in my life until I moved to England! Lol!

Dusty old England!

Posted in Travel | Tagged American, Americans, Baltimore, baseball, Boston, British, Broadway, California, Clacton on Sea, council, cowgirls, Culture, cupcakes, DC, Disneyland, driving, dust, east coast, economy, Ellicott City, England, Essex, florida, freeways, guns, Halloween, history, hocoblogs@@@, Hogwarts, Howard County, Italian food, Leominster, lifestyle, maryland, maternity leave, Mexican food, nude bike ride, NYC, Ohio, Philly, pizza, public transport, Rose Rocca, schools, skinny dipping, snow, Travel, UK, USA, villages, weather, West Coast, white Christmas, yoga | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 189

Posted on July 24, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

George Alexander Louis

And that’s the baby’s name! So now we know. Job done. Not Wayne, or Gary, or Alan? Nope, it’s as royal as they come (a little French royal even…!)

‘Tis Prince George!

Ellicott City Colored School

This place has intrigued me muchly since I’ve been in these parts. It’s not something we would have as part of our history in the UK. I feel that this is a building of equal parts – positive and negative – positive for its part in education, and negative for its part in segregation.

It’s as the title says, this is a one-room schoolhouse building that was constructed in 1880 as the first public school for black children in Howard County.

The schoolhouse restored

It was in use as a school until the early 1950s, and then the building was re-purchased by the county in 1995 and restored with the assistance of public and private funding. The building, located at Frederick Road, Ellicott City, now houses a genealogical resource center and a museum chronicling the history of African-Americans in Howard County.

The schoolhouse exhibits highlight the contributions by people of color/colour to the history of the region.

The classroom

It’s fascinating. And makes you think, doesn’t it….?

The bookcase display

It makes you think even more when you realise that only last year the Howard County school board apologized for the system’s treatment of African-American students during segregation. One woman, Dottie Cook, says in the 1950s she received a hand-me-down education that included tattered books with her uncle’s name written in them.

An African-American resident from Dayton, Dottie said her family petitioned the Howard school board to allow her to go to a school that white students attended — a more modern school with new books — and they were told she could but only if she got permission from the bus driver to be taken there.

The papers from the day

You just have to read her story……

It wasn’t until 1954 that the US Supreme Court’s historic Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka, Kan., decision outlawed segregated public schools. Howard County, apparently, was not alone in taking years to fully integrate schools. According to an article in The Baltimore Sun at the time, only a handful of counties in Maryland had fully integrated student bodies and faculties as of August 1964. In contrast, Baltimore City’s schools were desegregated shortly after the Brown decision in 1954.

A wonderful image from 1954

I’m so, so glad that things are different now, Howard County. Not perfect, but certainly vastly different from 1954.

American tales from the UK

I love hearing about Americans who are expats in the UK, and what their take on the country and its quirks is.

This is Pat’s UK Tale

I came to England while still working for the US Government. I managed to extend my tour until I could retire in 2000 after 35 years service. My partner is a Brit who could no longer stay in the USA, so rather than split our household after 20+ years, I retired here. We live in a community on the edge of the Cotswolds, not far from Cheltenham, Tewkesbury, or Evesham.

Pat

Since retiring I have become very involved with the local history society. I also do a lot of genealogy research — solving puzzles is so much fun. We love to travel, abroad and around the UK.

What do you enjoy most about living in the UK?
I felt at home immediately when I arrived. I grew up on Mother Goose rhymes and the King Arthur Legend and such. Those rhymes and other old sayings suddenly started to make sense.

I love the weather – or I did when we first arrived. Now it is getting very unpredictable, but the weather in the USA where we used to live (Maryland) is usually worse. I don’t like it HOT! Or super cold, either. Nice temperate summers and winters suit me nicely.

I love being in Europe. (Some Brits don’t think the UK is part of Europe, but technically I think it is!) We can reach Paris, Italy, Spain, Germany, in only a couple of hours. I love that we can buy European products easily in the superstores (supermarkets to the Americans). I love being close enough to London (about 2 hours) to have short breaks for going to museums and the theatre. And Cheltenham is a great for culture – it has a Jazz Festival, a Music Festival, a Science Festival, and, best of all, a Literature Festival – EVERY year.

I love the history under my feet here. Our first house in England was built about 1725, extended just after WWII, and extended again in the 1980s. I could look out of my bedroom window and see the bumps of an Iron Age hill fort; pottery from a Roman manor was abundant in the farm field across the road; major encounters in the Cousins’ War (or War of the Roses) and the Civil War took place around us.

Lambs in the spring! Poppies in the fields and along the road in summer.

Beautiful poppies

What do you miss about the USA?
Not a lot, really. Small things. Foods like Atlantic blue crab (and Maryland crab cakes), Maine lobster. Fireflies in the summer. Screens on the windows! (In the heat wave we are having, windows open at night are a MUST, and that lets in the flying thingies that are attracted to light, like moths and crane flies – and the normal buzzy fly.)

What differences do you still encounter?
This is a hard one. Spelling differences, of course, and some word usage and sayings. When I was at work and someone asked me what my remit was, I had to think for a minute. It took me awhile to realize what “use in anger” meant – although I have since learned that this one is not widely known to Brits either. (It means used in an operational situation rather than in exercise or test mode.)

But, just because something is DIFFERENT doesn’t mean it is WRONG! It’s just different! If I couldn’t adjust, then I would have been long gone back to the States.

Lambs at the Cotswold Farm Park

The best thing about being an American in the UK?
Being oblivious to the caste (or class) system – and vestiges of it do still exist!
Not having to endure the endless campaigning of American politics, which get nastier and nastier the closer it gets to election day.

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and the UK do you think actually exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
I am not sure that Americans do not understand irony. Actually, I am not sure that Brits understand it, either. But the ones who think they do can be pretty smug about it.

Yes, America has a problem with overweight people – but so does the UK!

In what way do you think your life is different because you are in the UK rather than the USA?
Oh, my. Well, the NHS is a wonderful thing! I would be paying a lot more for my medications and doctor appointments, etc, in the USA, even with insurance. (And I maintain my insurance even though I am here because it is subsidized for me, being a retired US Government employee – if I drop it, I will never get it back. It has proved useful over here and when I travel.) Also, now that my partner is extremely disabled (and I am a full-time carer), the NHS has supplied grab handles, bath aids, pressure sore aids, visiting Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapists, and District Nurses. Her GP has even made a couple of house calls. Hospitalization is free if required.

I think roundabouts are a great invention, now that I am used to them. (I still would be nervous attempting the Magic Roundabout in Swindon, though.) But I do think they overdid it in Milton Keynes.

Ham in a supermarket!

Now foodie things. Pastry and desserts with CREAM really are made with CREAM. And there are so many different creams – single, double, extra thick, CLOTTED (now that is scrummy). A chicken salad sandwich is real chicken, sliced breast, with some lettuce and/or salady stuff. I amaze visiting Americans with the array of bacon varieties in the grocery, and the different crisp flavors, and the REAL HAM that is sold in so many ways. Cheddar doesn’t come in just Mild, Medium, and Sharp.

Posted in Travel | Tagged 1725, 1954, 1964, accents, African-Americans, America, American, Americans, Baltimore City schools, Blog, Board of Education, British, Brown vs Board, cheese, Cheltenham, civil war, clotted cream, Colored School House, Cotswold Farm Park, Cotswolds, crab, Culture, Dottie Cook, education, Ellicott City, Europe, expat, food, gloucestershire, ham, health, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, King Arther, lambs, NHS, nursery rhymes, overweight, Politics, poppies, Prince George Alexander Louis, public schools, segregation, Topeka, Travel, UK, US Government, USA, weather, WW2 | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 188

Posted on July 24, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Bay Bridge horror!

Lordy, that Bay Bridge in Maryland gives me the jitters, and now even more so….

A woman swam to safety last Friday night after a tractor-trailer hit her car and sent it plunging over the Bay Bridge at the Chesapeake and into the water. (Other motorists were stranded on the bridge for hours – hellish!)

Morgan Lake, a 22-year-old College of Southern Maryland student, was able to get out of her car, swim to some rocks and wait for help – wow, she was lucky!

Morgan’s car

And there’s footage of her climbing out on to the rocks. So the guy took the footage and did not help her out…?! Anyway, the poor thing looks like her top’s come down too! I suppose if you’ve just plunged into the sea and survived, you don’t really care if your boobs are showing a bit. 😉

Americans married to Brits!

Are there real cultural differences that still exist in a 36 year marriage between a Brit and American? Lenore and Roger tell their stories of how they met and made it work for so long…..

Lenore’s story

Roger and I have just moved to Maryland to be close to our grandkids. We have lived in California 36 years so this is a big move for us. I have been married to my husband, Roger for 36 years. We met on a cruiseship where Rog was a photographer. He lived in London but travelled to Florida to work for NCL cruiselines. We were married in Collingham, Nottinghamshire, England in 1977 and then moved to California where I had lived all my life. We have two kids, and two grandkids. We are both now retired.

It’s a family affair!

What do you enjoy most about being married to a Brit?
I love the cultural differences and hearing stories about growing up in England. I love that my children are exposed to their Dad’s heritage and that they have family who still live in England. I also like that they have dual nationality. It makes them feel connected to their dad in a very special way.

What differences do you still encounter?
Sometimes Rog still uses British terms and slang and I have to remember what he means! We also get into disagreement about Beatles albums and songs because different albums were released in the US and England so with both of us being huge Beatles’ fans, we are always in a big debate about it!

Love a bit of The Beatles!

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and the UK do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
I always believed that everyone in England ate tons of butter and cheese and drank lots of pints and everyone was unhealthy and overweight! I also thought that the pace was very slow and laid back and although it may be compared to the US, I didn’t think it was at all when I was there. And British folks are not stuffy and DO have sense of humor!

PS.
Meeting my husband and having the opportunity to be married in England was the best moment of my life (and having my kids of course). To be in the little village that my husband was raised in and to be married in the church where he sang in the choir was phenomenal. We have since taken our kids there to see where he grew up and they were just amazed at the differences between the US and England, all the history, culture and majesty of it all! I love being married to a Brit!

Collingham, Nottinghamshire

Roger’s story

I was born and raised in Collingham, England. I went to London College of Printing Elephant Castle, London. I received a contract as a photographer for NCL cruiselines in Florida in 1975. That is where I met my wife, Lenore. We were married in Collingham in 1977 and moved to Southern California where Lenore lived. We had been there ever since until just this year when we moved to Maryland to be close to our grandchildren. We have been married 36 years and we have two children. Our daughter and her two children live here in Maryland and our son lives in San Diego. I worked as a General Manager for AT&T for 23 years and a VP for Quest Communications for 6 years and retired in 2005.

What do you enjoy most about living in the USA?
When I came here, the opportunity to be whatever you wanted to be was a reality. I love the weather (lived 36 years in CA) I really enjoy the large number of food options, ease of travel, places to go and things to do. Love the number of TV channels! Great mall shopping!

California – nice!

What do you miss about the UK?
I really miss watching cricket live and on TV. Miss the pubs and the social establishments. Miss the food that I grew up with like pork pies, sausages and all the puddings. I miss the beautiful village communities.

What differences do you still encounter?
Since I have been here so long and there are lots of English people in America, I don’t experience too may differences any more. In the beginning, it was very different in many ways. People had a hard time understanding my accent and hearing proper English! Now I speak “slang” like every other American!

The best thing about being a Brit in the USA?
I can still keep my British heritage and culture but can still enjoy all there is in the USA. I can watch British movies and shows and understand everything that’s being said!!

Rog loves a pork pie!

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
That Americans are notoriously obnoxious, rude and loud! That’s the perception I got when I saw travelling Americans all my time in England. Not true (with exceptions!)

PS.
I recently became a citizen. It took me a long time to decide to make that move but after being here for so long, I wanted to be able to participate in elections and be a complete part of living in America. I was able to keep my British citizenship so that was the main reason I decided to become an American Citizen as well.

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, American Citizen, Americans, Bay Bridge, Beatles, Blog, British, California, Chesapeake, Collingham, cricket, Culture, expat, florida, food, heritage, humour, lifestyle, mall, marriage, maryland, Morgan Lake, Nottinghamshire, pork pies, Quest Communications, slang, Travel, TV, weather | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 187

Posted on July 24, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

The law can’t make up its mind!

Tickled by the fickleness of the law….

Transatlantic love

Matt met his partner online. He was in the USA and his partner was in the UK. With attitudes and laws being so different in the USA from the UK, Matt and his partner made the choice to stay in the UK.

This is Matt’s love story….

My name is Matt and I was born in Virginia Beach, VA in 1978. I have no brothers or sisters, but many cousins that I grew up with who were like the siblings I never had. I’ve lived in the UK since July 2006, but I had visited it several times before (my first trip being in 2003). My reason for being here has always been my partner. He is English and we started chatting online and we hit it off instantly. After we met in person for the first time in 2003, we knew this was definitely the way to go.

Since the US did not recognize our union but the UK did, it made the choice of where to live easier. I would move to the UK and we had our ceremony on September 2, 2006. I got a job as a computer programmer and have been working at the same job since November 2006 (obviously 2006 was a big year for me).

Matt at Christmas time

What do you enjoy most about living in the UK?
Definitely not the weather! 🙂 But seriously, I love the diversity. I love the fact that if we wanted to, we could catch a flight and 30 – 45 minutes later be in a totally different country. We’re so close to everything and all the cultures mix together in the country.

And honestly, I’ve grown pretty partial to a full English for breakfast and curry for as many meals as possible. It’s been really neat getting to immerse myself in a totally different culture on a different continent and explore. I love having all the really old, historic things around (a few weeks ago, we visited a Roman villa).

The full monty!

I went to school at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA and with it being founded in the 1700s, it qualifies as very old for the US. However, over here, something built in the 1700s is not quite so rare. I also have gotten pretty hooked on tea. It’s also nice to have trains that are fast and can be used to get easily from one place to another without needing to drive. I didn’t get my UK license until about 6 months to a year after I first moved over, but it didn’t slow us down at all with travelling. We just caught the train and went wherever we felt like.

What do you miss about the USA?
For me, it’s usually something to do with a food or a drink that I miss. I tend to frequent the US import food stores over here and am always on the lookout for something that I want (even if it’s just a small pack of Twizzlers or Reese’s pieces). It’s almost like having that little bit of food or drink takes me back. I do miss having my family around as well. It gets tough sometimes just doing the odd 2 or 3 weeks back in the US and then flying back to our life in the UK.

Matt in the UK

What differences do you still encounter and what frustrates you about the UK?
Sometimes I still encounter problems where people stereotype the American and make assumptions before knowing me. I’m assumed to be loud (which I’m not) and pushy seem to be the most common things. I’ve also had a few times where someone doesn’t understand what I’m saying because of my accent. We recently went to the London zoo and I went to order lunch at a fish & chips stand. I attempted to order two portions of chips with curry sauce and it took about five attempts before it was right (the guy finally had to get someone else to come to the till to take my order).

I also get frustrated because, from an early age, we were always taught to be patriotic. We started school every day by saying the pledge of allegiance to the flag and I guess that’s a bit in-grained in me. Since being naturalized, I have taken to being patriotic about my British side. I have a union jack mug at work and like things with American and British flags and themes on them. I get a lot of strange looks and the “oh, he’s such an American. Why do you need yet another thing with a flag on it.” To me, I’m proud to be a part of a country (whether it’s the country I was born in or the country that I have taken as my home). I just don’t get not being proud of your country.

Always patriotic

What cultural differences are there between you and your partner?
I’ve managed to Americanize him quite a bit. As previously stated, I’m more on the patriotic side of things and he’s not really that bothered. I still make sure that we celebrate Thanksgiving and we do try to do something around the 4th of July, so he doesn’t get away with us being all British. We try to keep it a mix of both our traditions.

Are there any USA traditions or holidays that your observe in the UK?
Definitely. I always book off Thanksgiving. We either try to find a restaurant that serves Thanksgiving food (usually in London) or we take a trip somewhere. Either way, we celebrate. We also tend to try to find something around the 4th of July.

In what way do you think your life is different because you are in the UK rather than the USA?
I feel like I have a lot more opportunities to experience new countries and cultures. I love languages and cultures, so the idea that we can take a very short flight and end up in any number of European countries really appeals to me. I know that living in the UK, I also don’t have as much family influence as I would in the US. My family is very close and being 3,000 miles away does keep me out of the loop on some things.

It’s a big old ocean…

PS.
I really do enjoy living in the UK. We have discussed in the future about moving to the US so my partner can experience the expat lifestyle. It’s definitely something that scares a lot of people. The thought of moving out of your birth country and living in a completely new place with new culture and traditions can really frighten some. I was initially pretty worried about it, but after the initial “shock” phase (where I think I just kept feeling like I wasn’t fitting it), it all just falls into place and life goes on, albeit 3,000 miles away from where it used to!

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, Atlantic Ocean, Blog, British, Culture, curry, driving, English breakfast, Europe, expat, Fickle, flag, food, gay marriage, hocoblogs@@@, law office, lifestyle, online love story, patriotic, school, Thanksgiving, Travel, Twizzlers, UK, Union, USA, Virginia Beach, weather, Williamsburg | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 186

Posted on July 24, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Royal Baby News (FYI, I don’t have more news just because I am British… 😉 )

Well, we know these joyous things:

1. It’s a boy!
2. It has no name!
3. It was quite a hefty little bugger (where did she put him?)
4. Wills can strap in a car seat (he’s been practising, me thinks – although I heard an American radio station saying he had done it all wrong – different child seat rules, perhaps?)
5. Kate had her hairdresser / stylist in after giving birth (excellent choice of dress, although she must have been stuffed full of maternity pads to get away with wearing powder blue – I admire her bravery)
6. Prince Harry must be breathing a sigh of relief that he now goes down a notch in line to the throne
7. Brits love an excuse for a good old knees up, except for the British pub in Columbia, which still ran its regular quiz night and turned over the news of the birth on the big screen to put the baseball on instead – outrageous!
8. American media coverage about it was nuts
9. Lovely royal-loving nutters in the UK waited for yonks for the announcement
10. The town crier announcement is still a top theatrical bit of British tradition for the baby’s birth (listen to the American presenter’s question on this – ‘do you have any idea what we are looking at here?’ 😉 )

An American TV presenter indulges in British pastimes whilst waiting for the Royal Twinkle to pop out

I love this write up in the US Daily Mail: ‘Despite declaring independence from Britain 200 years ago, America celebrated the birth of a future king today, with stores and pubs around the country adorning their walls with Union Jack bunting, ‘It’s a Boy’ banners and preparing British-themed parties and cakes in the likeness of the new mother.
After Kate Middleton was admitted to St. Mary’s hospital early this morning, baby fever hit London and the rest of the United Kingdom. But it didn’t take long for the excitement to travel across the Atlantic – and once it was revealed the royal baby was a boy, it only escalated.

Meanwhile, U.S. broadcasters were representing the country in force outside the hospital in London as royal baby hysteria gripped the television networks. America’s top broadcasters were sent to the U.K. to report live from Paddington on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s new baby boy.

In New York, the block of Manhattan’s Greenwich Village know as ‘Little Britain’ joined in on the fun with British flags, cupcakes, special menus and other celebrations for customers to partake in.’

Celebrating in NYC

Now, just to be clear: we Brits don’t know any more about the Royal King to Be than our American cousins. My friend’s Facebook update amused me today:

‘Day 2 of going into an office of 13 American ladies, during a royal birth, and having to politely explain that I don’t have any additional news or insights (presumably via a mystery hotline from London?) about the baby’s name, weight, eye colour etc.’

Only yesterday I was asked by an American friend if the Queen will now abdicate the throne – ‘you’ll know better than me’, he said with unerring trust in his voice. I had to choose between pretending to be omniscient of all things royal and basically bullshitting my way through, or saying ‘no, not really’. Interestingly, I chose the former option and I sounded like a rather well-informed authority on all things royal, if I say so myself!

The Luck of the Irish

Let me tell you about Will. He can charm the pants off anyone; and it’s not just because he is Irish. And he has a lot of shoes – possibly more than me, which is a LOT. I met Will when I was in DC as part of the Mix1073 podcasts with his BFF Brooke Ryan. And how we bonded!

So he is Irish and dapper and living in America…and what’s it like, therefore, to be running around DC charming the pants/trousers of all and sundry….?

Lucky, lucky

This is The Tale of Will…

[Will’s words follow…!]
The dashingly handsome, uber stylish man of mystery, Will Lambert, lives in Aldie, VA (the bit of northern Virginia that has wineries and horses – he thinks he’s a bit more posh than any self-respecting Irishman should). Landing in Honolulu in 1998, Will has graced the states with his presence for the better part of the past fifteen years, i.e., drinking, carousing, and generally being a cad. A world traveler and former US Army soldier, he has many entertaining tales and never tires of hearing himself talk. An honoree of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation’s D.C.’s Finest Young Professional Campaign in 2012, he swears that he has some redeeming qualities and has apparently convinced others of this nonsense as well.

What do you enjoy most about living in the USA?
I quite enjoy the people and for all its faults, the economy here is better than back home.

Will and Brooke BFFs

What do you miss about Ireland?
Proper lemonade. How hard is it to understand that lemonade is meant to be carbonated? Red lemonade as well. That, I have no explanation for; it just is what it is.

What differences do you still encounter?
I’ve been here for a long time, so it doesn’t happen often, but every once in a while I’ll say something and people will look at me sideways. Yes, when I said “jumper” I was referring to my sweater. Also, “What’s the craic?” gets me a weird look sometimes.

I’ve a shirt that reads “Feck it, sure, it’s grand.” Feck is a grand word and Americans should adopt it… and stop giving me those looks when I wear it on the Metro. I’m sure your 8-year-old is probably thinking “What the f*ck does feck mean?” anyway.

The next Irish James Bond, perhaps?

The best thing about being an Irishman in the USA?
I could go on all day about things that I couldn’t care less about, but let’s be honest, the best bit about being an Irishman in the States is being able to pull birds that a guy that looks like me has no right pulling. Sure, I’m charismatic and I dress well, but the reason that I pick up women like I do is because they like my accent.

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
Not everyone is armed, though I have been hunting with mates here whilst drinking bourbon for breakfast. – I’ll give that a 50/50 for accuracy.

There are loads of overweight people here, but I’m no skinny Minnie, so it works well for me.

I generally thought the south would be nothing but boggers, but some of the most intelligent, genteel, wonderful people I’ve met are southern.

Will loves to live it up in DC 🙂

PS.
Everyone here thinks that they’re Irish. Everyone. I have no issue with that, but don’t come up to me at the bar on St. Paddy’s and expect me to buy you a drink because your grandma was from Limerick. If she digs herself up and comes to the bar, I’ll buy her a pint.

While we’re at it, learn how to spell Paddy. Patty is a girl’s name.

I do have to add my pet peeve about Americans. This common exchange sums it up nicely:

American: Where are you from?
Me: I grew up in Ireland.
A: What part?
M: Ennis
A: Where’s that?
M: Do you know where Shannon Airport is? 15 – 20 miles north of that.
A: No.
M: Co. Clare?
A: Nope.
M: Alright, about 2 1/2 hours west of Dublin.
A: I don’t really know where Dublin is.
M: If you’ve no concept of the layout of the country, then why did you ask me the f*cking question?!?

Will loves the ladies, and the ladies love him!

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, American TV news, Americans, army, Baby Cambridge, bbc, birth announcement, Blog, British, Brooke Ryan, car seat, County Clare, Culture, Daily Mail, Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, expat, hocoblogs@@@, Honolulu, Howard County, Irish, Irishman, jumper, Kate Middleton, lemonade, London, media, Metro, Mix107.3, NYC, Paddy, Patty, Prince, Prince Harry, Royal baby, Shannon Airport, St Mary's Hospital, stereotypes, Tea and Sympathy, town crier, TV, UK, Union Jack, USA, Virginia, Washington, Washington DC, What's the craic?, Will Lambert, Wills | 5 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 185

Posted on July 22, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

USA vs UK parenting

Oooh, this could potentially be a very explosive minefield, since nearly every comment about parenting anywhere at anytime raises hackles….

But, hey ho! It’s a cultural thing, and therefore something that is part of living out here. You see, there is a difference that I, and many of my Brit friends based in this part of the USA, have observed in our parenting styles.

🙂

It can be best described thus:

UK parenting
Strip ‘em down and get them undressed at the pool
USA parenting
Keep them entirely covered or dress them inside for the sake of modesty

UK parenting
If you’re having fun and are content, a little aspirational and basically being a kid and doing kid things, have a personality and a mind that’s your own, that’s great
USA parenting
You got to be on the swim team , play violin, be top of the class in math, be a cheerleader and speak Mandarin and I will run you to every single after-school class that there is and complain at step class how whacked out I am, but how much I love my kids (as they are the central reason for me being and existing) and how all these activities are improving every aspect of their lives to make them better human beings, and possibly one day President

UK parenting
Sure, hold your horses, and I’ll talk to you when I’ve finished talking to the grown ups
USA parenting
What is it, what’s wrong?

UK parenting
Hang on a minute, cheeky chops, what did you say?
USA parenting
Ethan Jr, that is disrespectful and mommy is sad that you have behaved in this way

UK parenting
My son/daughter has a really active imagination and loads of energy, which is wonderful
USA parenting
My son/daughter conforms wonderfully to the school ideology of what a good student should be and if they get too boisterous there are always child psychologists, special tutors and pills for that

UK parenting
Off you pop for a quick wee then
USA parenting
Does someone need to go potty?

Anyway, you get the [tongue in cheek] idea. And I do not mean to OFFEND anyone, or say that the UK parenting style is right or wrong, or that all US parents have this style of parenting, or that everyone in the UK parents like that, because they don’t (I’ve seen lots of styles), and I am no model parent AT ALL, it’s just that I have noted a type of parenting out here that I had not really come across before.

The Huffington Post gives a good low-down on parenting styles, and comments that there are four parenting styles, one of which is American Dreamer, which is probably what I am referring to:

AMERICAN DREAMERS
27 % of parents – have high aspirations for their children – and invest in pouring themselves fully into their families’ futures – are the most aggressive about making sure their kids get ahead – and invest heavily in providing opportunities to give their children a competitive advantage down the road.

Parenting: the toughest job of all, no matter what country you live in!

A wealth of expat experience

Toni has lived in the USA for 23 years and is an expat expert. Here she shares her tales of USA life and gives some sage advice about living here.

Toni’s Tale

I came to the US from England in 1990 having married an American in London. (That old story). All my family are back in England; my husband’s family is here but very small and scattered all over. I have three children, all born in the States – ages 20, 17 and 10!

When I first came over I was in Organization Development and Training, but gave that up when my older two were little. I now spend my days writing books and columns for various web sites, as explained at my web site – http://tonisummershargis.com. I started a charity in 2009 to help fund a school in Ghana and that takes up a fair bit of time too. (www.caringkidconnections.com)

Toni

You’ve been here a long time – do you feel more American or British? Are there any British traditions you still uphold?
I have been blogging about this recently ’cause although I still feel British, I’ve been away from the UK for so long that there’s now a lot that is unfamiliar. The knowledge that your country of origin has moved on without you is very weird. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel American though; there are a lot of things embedded in the culture here that I will never get my head around – like the right to bear arms, which basically means that no matter how bad gun violence gets, people will never really accept limitations on the right to have a gun. And I swear too much for Americans!

I still eat a lot of British stuff like Marmite, Branston pickle, egg on toast etc. It’s quite easy to buy British food here now. You have to be very careful with what looks like genuine Cadburys chocolate though, as some of it isn’t made in the UK and definitely tastes funny.

Yey, marmite!

What has changed in America most significantly since being out here?
When I came here there was no Internet so, like everywhere else, the ease of doing stuff is so much greater. At the risk of becoming political, this country is even more conservative than it was when I arrived. I think a lot of Brits assume that Americans are swinging, partying, wild people where in fact I find them to be quite reserved in some respects. (I am in the mid-west you’ll have to remember). The politics though, has gone to such extremes that sometimes it feels like we’re going backwards. Only this week the Supreme Court of Iowa deemed it OK for a dentist to fire his assistant (of 10 years) because she was so attractive that he and his wife were worried that he would be tempted to have an affair with her. (http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/16/opinion/schwartz-fired-looks/index.html

When you go back to the UK what do you think has changed about it?
There’s a lot of stuff that’s changed about the UK. For a start, where I’m from (Tyneside) is almost unrecognizable and I get lost every time I get in the car. The UK ha a much more cosmopolitan feel to it than it did when I was there; It’s difficult to explain really, and it’s probably because people are traveling farther afield and more frequently. A lot more outdoor cafes etc. which you’d only ever see in France and Italy etc years ago.

Tyneside…

What things frustrate you about the USA, and what do you love about its culture?
As I mentioned above, the politics really frustrates me, but I won’t bang on about that. It also annoys me when I hear Americans announcing that the US is the most democratic, most powerful or something like that, nation on earth. Obviously not all Americans think like this, but a lot do and given that a very small percentage even possess a passport, it makes me want to demand to know how they reached such a conclusion when they haven’t seen anywhere else.

On the plus side, I have tried to embrace the “can-do” attitude of Americans. Their mantra is “What’s the worst that can happen?” so they’ll give anything a go. When I finished my new book I took that approach in seeking press reviews and a surprising number of people agreed to review it.

Name three things that you miss about the UK
Only three??? Hmmm – friends and family (that counts as one by the way); British telly (including the ads); pub lunches.

Pub grub

If you could change any laws in the USA what would they be?
How long do you have? I’d definitely do something to curtail access to guns – and I’d do it at a federal level so that every state had to comply.

I would require everyone to have health insurance so that people can’t just opt out and expect everyone else to pick up the tab; for those who can’t afford health insurance, I’d make sure they had access to decent health care and medications so that no one had to choose between food and prescriptions.

And finally (for now) I’d put a cap on the money that can be raised in political campaigns. I weep when I see how much is raised and spent on advertising etc. There is a lot of poverty in this country and those hundreds of millions could be better spent elsewhere. The money issue also makes the whole election process open to all sorts of bribery and corruption on a scale that would shock most Brits.

What top tips do you have for Brits in the US?
There’s a lot that is different so my general advice would be don’t be surprised to experience some culture shock and also not to have a clue what people are talking about. Yes, we both speak English, but American English can be very different from British English. Another tip would be not to assume everything British is correct and the American way is wrong. That’s a sure way to piss off the natives and in fact, some British words have moved farther from the original root than the American version.

If you’re here for a short period, make sure you travel around as much as you can. This country is absolutely huge and the variety in topography is amazing. You can have any type of holiday you want right on the doorstep.

I’m part of a team of writers giving tips to Brits in the USA at the BBC America “Mind the Gap” web site.

PS. I’m thrilled to have a new book out on Amazon – “The Stress-FreeGuide to Studying in the States; A Step-by-Step Plan for International Students”. It’s exactly that, and my aim is to help students who can’t afford the big consulting fees, to understand the US college system, the application and visa process, and a little bit about college life here. Even more thrilling is it’s already received one 5 star customer review.

Posted in Travel | Tagged Amazon, American Dreamers, BBC America, Branston Pickle, British telly, CaringKidsConnections, Democratic, dentist, Europe, expat, food, Ghana, gun culture, guns, Huffington Post, Iowa, marmite, Mind the Gap, naughty step, parenting, Politics, potty, pub food, Stress Free Studying Guide, toast, Toni Hargis, Tyneside | 14 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 184

Posted on July 21, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Biker Beach Bar in the Caribbean….

Actually, read that as Biker Beach Bar in Glen Burnie, MD, just 30 minutes from Columbia. But holy smokes, it sure felt like the Caribbean, and there’s proof:

Caribbean or Maryland?

Collecting coconuts

Mini beach

Me and H on the beach 🙂

Seriously, I loved this place – it’s called Reckless Ric’s and it’s predominantly a biker bar. But bikers, they like to hang out at the beach and drink beer too you know!

As much as I love living in Columbia, I had a need – a yearning – to get out of the suburbia. I wanted to go a little more rustic, a little less ‘mall’. Reckless Ric’s was perfect. And bikers are so very, very friendly (I guess the English accent always helps). Boats and jet skis pulled up at the dock to stop by for a beer and some fish tacos. Now that’s the life.

Where else in Maryland can you wade in the super-warm water of a creek, collect coconuts on the beach, listen to my FAVOURITE type of music – ROCK! – and hang out talking to a lovely bunch of tattooed men who just rocked up on a bunch of amazeballs Harleys? Hell, Reckless Ric’s – I’m back for more soon! 🙂

So what do Americans think of America?

I’m running my interview series over the next month, which, whilst it looks at Brit views of America and American views of the UK, it also focuses on American’s views of their own country. With this in mind, this has caught my attention as it does the social media rounds…… It’s Ten Things American’s Don’t Know About America. And whilst the piece itself is fascinating, if a little aggressive, the comments are even more fascinating!

The piece in the main article which really struck me was this one:

5. THE QUALITY OF LIFE FOR THE AVERAGE AMERICAN IS NOT THAT GREAT

If you’re extremely talented or intelligent, the US is probably the best place in the world to live. The system is stacked heavily to allow people of talent and advantage to rise to the top quickly.

The problem with the US is that everyone thinks they are of talent and advantage. As John Steinbeck famously said, the problem with poor Americans is that “they don’t believe they’re poor, but rather temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”

In my adventures so far, I’ve only tasted a small slice of the American pie, and only a couple of momentary glimpses at how poverty in the USA really affects people, but I am fully aware of its existence and that is troubling in a country that promises such dreams for everyone…..

He was a clever clogs, that Mr Steinbeck

Melissa’s Musings

So, Melissa from Smitten by Britain and I have been communicating, as is much the way for us bloggers, by email and Facebook – and hallelujah for technology and the InterWeb! 😉

So we decided to meet in real life and have a natter, and we sure did that! We could have chinwagged for yonks!

Melissa’s interview is from her Anglophile perspective – read on to hear her musings on why she is smitten by all things Britain.

Me and Mel hang out and talk Brit and USA stuff

Melissa is an Anglophile who used to live in England and was married to a Scotsman. She continues to blog about her love of all things British at Smitten by Britain in between trips back to the UK.

What fascinates you most about the UK / what do you love about it?
I think there are a lot of things about Great Britain that appeals to Americans; because our history is so short, we are intrigued by yours. Some of us feel like we need an anchor or deeper roots to attach to and since the English settled America, and many of us descend from those settlers, where else should we look? I think because our country is so young, we are fascinated by a nation like Great Britain that has managed to hold on to so many of its customs and traditions. That’s why many of us are enamored with the monarchy.

Then there are the more obvious appeals like the ancient castles and beautiful scenery. Some of the world’s greatest literature comes from England, so for some, this is where the interest starts. We want to visit the settings of Jane Austen’s novels or Shakespeare’s plays. For me personally, there is so much more. I am fascinated by the variety of accents and dialects in such a small area (compared to the States) and I love British humo(u)r. This leads me to all the great British comedies and dramas that have been made for television and film. The history buff in me is fascinated by all the contributions that the English, Welsh and Scottish people have made to the world in the last two thousand years – more combined than any other nation. I could go on, but I’m gagging for a cup of tea.

A right and proper cuppa

Having lived in the UK what are your favorite areas to visit?
What an amazingly difficult question for someone like me to answer. I will always suggest to my friends travelling to the UK to take the train to Scotland. I suggest this because it gives you the opportunity to visit a different country with a different culture and set of customs but on the way there, you get to see quite a bit of the English countryside. Two pleasures in one! See Edinburgh or Glasgow and if you can manage it take a bus trip through Glencoe and the Highlands. It’s an experience you will never forget. I can recommend both the east coast and west coast lines from London to Scotland, as I’ve taken both and each have the benefit of beautiful scenery.

Now, if you’re talking about choosing just one place in England, it really is an impossible task for me. I think many people will say visit Devon or Cornwall and indeed, they are beautiful, but so are many other parts of England. It all depends on your tastes really. I am particularly drawn to the northeast and places like York, Durham and Newcastle. And don’t forget Wales. Cripes, what a dilemma! See, I really need to move to Britain.

My general advice to people is to just do it! Get on a plane and go to England. No matter where you visit, you won’t be disappointed but I will encourage travelers to take at least one day trip outside of London because England is so much more than just London.

There are lots of sheep in Wales….

What differences do you think really exist between our cultures?
The most important difference I feel between our cultures is in our general outlook on life. Americans tend to be more optimistic while the British tend to be more cynical (although I’m seeing a change with younger generation, thanks to influences such as the internet, social media and US TV shows.)

I heard it put like this recently, which I think hits the nail on the head: “When you ask an American ‘How are you?’ they answer ‘Fine!’ or ‘Good!’ Ask a Briton and they reply, ‘Musn’t grumble!’ “

And while I think things have improved in the last few decades, an emphasis on class still exists in Great Britain. One can easily be put down or judged for where they came from, where they were schooled and which class they were born into. One’s accent is often used to judge any of these and results in certain assumptions being made about the person. Likewise, if a Briton works to improve their lot in life and aspires to move up in class, they catch a lot of grief from their family, friends and neighbors.

In the US, we’re almost expected to do better and be better. We don’t really discuss class amongst ourselves and you really only hear about it in the media – mostly as part of political discussions. If we talk about anything it’s generally about the huge gap between the rich and the poor and that these have become the two dominate classes, as the middle class continues to shrink.

Unfortunately, if you watch our media and celebrity driven culture, it seems the primary message these days is if you’re not rich and famous, you don’t matter. This is a huge downside to our “do better, be better” culture. Where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough?

About the USA: which myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and its citizens do you think really exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
There are quite a few but I’ll address my top three here:

1. We don’t have a sense of humor. If not, then why do so many countries around the world, including the U.K., import our television comedies like Friends, Seinfeld, Sex and the City, Frasier and the Big Bang Theory?

US TV shows….

2. Americans don’t understand irony or British humor. Again, if that were the case then British comedies would not be successful here and you wouldn’t have Anglophiles like me.

3. Xenophobia is not the reason why only 40% of Americans own passports. Keep believing that if it makes you feel superior but it’s simply not the truth. There are three primary reasons why Americans don’t own passports and they are:

a. We have limited vacation time. It’s still considered a ‘great’ benefit if you find a job that will give you two weeks of vacation. That is considered the norm here. But some people don’t have vacation time at all! If you don’t have vacation time, and can’t go abroad, then when do you have a need for a passport? But let’s say you do have two weeks of vacation – once you go visit your family members that you haven’t seen all year (because they live out-of-state), you don’t have any time left for travelling abroad. I don’t think people outside the US realize how big our country is and how spread out our families are. And let’s remember that before 9/11 we didn’t need a passport to visit Mexico or Canada so we could indeed visit another country without needing a passport!

b. Money, money, money! Do you know how much it costs an American to travel to the UK? Let me explain: In 2010 I took my family of three to the UK for a fortnight’s holiday. Even before I left my doorstep I had spent nearly $6000 on three roundtrip airline tickets and two weeks flat rental (letting a flat many times is cheaper than hotels especially when you have access to a kitchen.) By the end of our holiday, once we added in cost of train tickets and various day trips (because Britons all want us to get out of London right?), groceries and eating out, our trip cost us nearly $8500. Now I ask you, how many British families can afford a £5000 holiday? They’re lucky if they can do that in ONE lifetime, let alone every few years. It’s the same for Americans, and by the way, I was flying from the East Coast. Imagine the cost for a family flying from Middle America or the West Coast? And that’s just for a family of three!

An English friend of mine put it this way: “If Great Britain had lovely weather and amazing beaches most of us wouldn’t need passports either.” I agree. We have it all here in the U.S.: great weather, beautiful beaches, gorgeous mountains and countryside and yes, even culture! And it’s a good thing as well because we don’t have Europe on our doorstep.

Paris, France, Europe

c. We want to see our own country! The US is so dang big; many of us would actually like to see some of it! What’s wrong with that? When you consider this with the outrageous cost of traveling abroad and the little time we have for vacation, it’s no wonder many us don’t have passports.

Sure, you’ll find the odd xenophobe here but I will add that on my last trip to the Scotland, a taxi driver told me he had never been to London, had never even been outside of Glasgow and indeed had no desire to. So xenophobes are everywhere and we by no means corner the market on them.

Bonny Scotland!

When I tell my friends I’m going back to the UK the most common response I get is “You’re so lucky! I wish I could go with you but I just can’t afford it. My dream is to go to [insert country.]” The reply is never “Ugh! Why would you want to go there?”