ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 293

Posted on November 16, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

If Thanksgiving had been about pizza…..

I endured a movie last night called ‘Free Birds’. It’s a kids’ cartoon and it was all about what would happen if Thanksgiving had not involved turkeys. So did they succeed in freeing the turkeys? Yes? And what did Americans replace the turkey with? PIZZA.

A turkey eating a pizza. It’s all too surreal….

Just think about that Thanskgiving meal for a moment, if it was pizza……would you still be thankful?!

Security guards who look like police

Outside my bank there is a [quite hot] security guard all dressed with armour and a visor and a gun, marching up and down like a very important policeman. At first I thought he was a cop and then I realised he was a security guard. I don’t recall us having security guards like this at our banks in the UK, if any at all.

Anyway, it’s one of those American things, and I don’t mind it at all, especially if they are hot 😉

Not my bank security guard, but he’ll do….

Where are you from?

I still get the question ‘Where are you from?’ when I speak in my British accent. I still like it.

Then I have to tell them that I have been in the States for just over a year and that I am not here permanently….and I realise that time flies so. Reality check. So much to do, so much to see still.

More of this please

And more of this….

Read this…

If you are an expat and have kids, or wonder what it is like to be an expat with kids and how it feels adjusting to the culture and why it is so important to integrate them, whilst still maintaining aspects of your own culture, read this article. It’s will enlighten you.

My thoughts on it are this:

I often tell my five-year old that one way is not right and the other way is not wrong, they are just different. And different is good.

As a Brit out here for a short space of time, I had two options: 1) hang around British coffee mornings and talk about where we used to live in the UK, how different things are from the UK (lots of things to talk about there!) and where we have travelled to in the USA or where we plan to go, or 2) dive straight into the American culture and find out how it all works; try things; meet people; visit places; be part of a community and try to understand the USA, and do the same for my son.

I firmly chose the latter and have met some fabulous Americans, but still enjoy a smattering of the former with some lovely Brits – and I am having the time of my life.

Hoorah, America!

And my son…..well, he is having some amazing experiences that are far beyond those he would have back home in the UK, and he is learning to accept differences in a very positive way, and for that I am grateful, America. 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, bank, Blog, Britain, British, children, cops, Culture, expat, florida, Free Birds, give thanks, guns, hocoblogs@@@, kids, pizza, police, security guards, Thanksgiving, Toni Hargis, Travel, turkey, UK, uniform, USA, Washington | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 292

Posted on November 15, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Hilarity at USA maps

I still get confused about where all the states are in the United States. And when I am looking for Maryland it is so small in comparison to the other states, but it actually feels quite big when you live here (being a Brit from counties like Gloucestershire and Wiltshire).

Anyhoooooo, some recent maps of the USA tickled my fancy very much.

It’s entitled: Here’s What Happens When You Ask People To Draw A Map Of The USA From Memory

This is mine, and blog reader Andy’s, favourite….

Totally.

They are genius.

I don’t think I could do a map of the UK counties, even, which is pretty shoddy, I know. I was only good at colouring in various countries in Geography at school in pretty colours 😉

British boy says American things in British accent

Harry has very little American accent now. He’s tried it, and I guess he has decided he will speak in a British accent. Fair enough. There’s the odd inflection with some phrases, but when he chooses words, either consciously or subconsciously, he more often than not will call, for example, the ‘garbage’ the ‘rubbish’ and the ‘trash can’ the ‘bin’ etc.

And, of course, he calls he has to call a ‘rubber’ an ‘eraser’ otherwise he would be in the Principal’s office….Oh how much trouble I would be in at school here! 😉

However, school does influence him and he says some very American school-type things, naturally.

So there is something amusing hearing a relatively ‘plummy’ British boy sitting at the table telling me that he had ‘shot some really awesome baskets at school today’. Ah, basketball hoops is to what you are referring.

Shooting hoops, innit

And ‘In math I got a check mark for doing my sums right’. Translate as ‘In maths I got a tick for doing adding up correctly.’

😉

Or ‘math’…?

A few of my favourite things

I’m going to be blogging towards the end of 2013 about a few of my favourite things in the USA in general and in Howard County/Columbia/Ellicott City.

A kind of UK Desperate Housewife’s Top 20 or however many I come up with. So, where do I like to eat, drink, shop, walk etc…..Who will the winners be?!!!

Posted in Travel | Tagged accent, accents, America, American, Americans, basketball, bin, Blog, Britain, British, Buzzfeed, Culture, garbage, gloucestershire, hocoblogs@@@, language, math, maths, rubbish, school, shooting hoops, states, trash, UK, UK Desperate Housewife USA, USA, USA maps, Wilthsire | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 291

Posted on November 14, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Hole punch holes

Yes, I really am going to blog about hole punch holes in the USA. The thing is, I got myself in a right old pickle today.

There I was happily punching holes in my paperwork with my BRITISH hole punch (yes, it travelled all the way over on a boat with us) so that I could be super efficient and put all my stuff in a lovely shiny new American folder.

BUT….when I came to putting the beautifully two-hole-punched paper in the American folder I was flummoxed.

The folder had three rings. What’s a British gal, who’s been very happy with herself for getting organised using her British two-hole hole punch, to do when presented with such a conundrum? She googles ‘USA vs UK hole punches’, that’s what she does.

(Actually, my initial thought when presented with the situation was – ‘How on earth am I going to fit that in there with only two holes…’, followed by – ‘That’s what she said/As the actress said to the bishop’…..) 😉

Three rings….see?!

My folder was of the three-ringed variety for the three-hole standard in the USA:

‘In regions that use the U.S. “Letter” paper format (8.5″ x 11″ or 216×279 mm; United States, Canada, and in part Mexico and the Philippines), a three-hole standard is widely used. The holes are positioned symmetrically, with the centres 108 mm (4-1/4 in) apart. The diameter of the holes varies between manufacturers, with typical values being 6–8 mm (1/4 to 5/16 inch). (The 5/16 value is most commonly used, as it allows for more variation in both ring binder and paper punching.) The distance of the hole center to the paper edge also varies, with 12 mm (1/2 inch) being a typical value. Unlike ISO 838, this 3-hole system appears to have no well-established exact specification. It can only be applied to paper formats that are at least 240 mm high.’

Boring stuff, but it does explain it.

A two-hole hole punch 🙂

In the UK, we generally just have a two-hole hole punch and two-ringed ring binders. I think.

Anyway, whatever the hole punch issue is, I had no more time to waste pondering such things.

And that is all I have to say about that perplexing, confusing and amusing very small difference.

(For the record, I bought some three-holed plastic folders and shoved my paperwork in them so that is all tickety-boo now.) 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Americans, as the actress said to the, Blog, Britain, British, Culture, hocoblogs@@@, hole punch, paperwork, ring binder, That's what she said, three hole, two hole, UK, USA | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 290

Posted on November 13, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

USA: you need to play more netball

So, this weekend I went to Atlanta to play netball.

That’s me, that is

I hear this ALL the time in America when I mention netball: ‘What’s that?’

And I reply thus (with an exasperated sigh, usually): ‘It’s like basketball, but you can’t run with the ball, there is no backboard when you shoot and it’s mainly played by girls.’ But there is much more to it than that (and not just the very short skirts, chaps….)

This is my report on netball and an explanation of the very great game.

But wait! When I was waiting yesterday (in the flippin’ freezing cold – note: not smug anymore) for the school pick up my American friend said that she had been watching some kids playing Ultimate Basketball, which, she said ‘is very like netball’!!

And she’s right! There is hope for netball in the USA!

The rules are fairly similar…(and some are not, but these are the similar rules).

– No dribbling.
– Hold the ball for three seconds only.
– Arms length away to defend.
– No stealing the ball once a player has possession.
– Passes may only be stolen/intercepted in the air.
– If an offensive player is shooting – defense may hold arms straight up.
– Establish the pivot foot.
– Allow one bounce when attempting to catch the ball.
– Ball goes to other team when dribble occurs.
– By emphasizing the “no dribble rule” you are emphasizing to the kids to look for a pass immediately after catching a ball.
– No close defense on the person with the ball. You must be away by at least arm’s length.
– Travelling fouls and minor contact fouls, like swatting at the ball of a passer or shooter will be a change of possession penalty.

He can be on my team, if he likes 🙂

So, it appears that the netball rules are slowly seeping into basketball, and I like the way they call it ‘Ultimate Basketball’ like it’s even better than regular basketball (well, of course, in my opinion it is, cos it’s a rough and tough game that is full of strategy and tactics and skill and speed). And it ain’t just for girls, remember…..

Your netball time has come America.

Lament of an Expat

So, I bought this book about being an expat in the USA called ‘LAMENT OF AN EXPAT: How I Discovered America And Tried to Mend’ by Leonora Burton.

Got it on my KindleFire

It’s got great reviews: ‘This is the witty, sometimes bemused, chronicle of an expat’s plunge into American culture, with its love of the gun and the sacred dollar, with its rigid constitution and singular laws and with the kindness, generosity and humanity of ordinary Americans. She describes encounters with the Mafia, a plane crash, Robert Redford, a Madam and a call girl from her home town in Wales, a famous author so drunk he couldn’t talk, a cardboard funeral casket, Richard Nixon and a Caribbean wedding that was supposed to exclude God but didn’t. One of her twin boys lives in New York City, she writes, while the other is in London, maintaining her connection with the U.K. Along the way, she makes a foe of Roger Ailes, top earner for Rupert Murdoch’s media empire, and loves every minute of the dispute which continues with this book.’

But, ‘mend America’…..? I’m not sure about that bit, unless of course it’s all very tongue in cheek…..But it seems the British always want to mend stuff about America – that’s not to say that there aren’t things that aren’t a bit wonky, but I think that ‘mend’ sometimes really means ‘change it to the way the British do it’……

I’ll let you know how the book is 🙂

Dates USA/UK stylie

An America friend wrote yesterday that it was a special date day being the 12th November 2013. That’s written 11/12/13 in the USA. I wrote back that, sadly, this was not a special numerical day for us Brits, but she kindly pointed out that on 11th December 2013 it would be since we would write 11/12/13. Hoorah!

I still get confuddled by the date thing tho – I often write my birthday the British way round, which looks like I was born in March instead of December. Actually, maybe I could start having two birthdays…..! 😉

Month, day, year….

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Americans, Atlanta, Baltimore Post Examiner, basketball, Blog, books, Britain, British, Culture, dates, fitness, hocoblogs@@@, Lament of an Expat, Leonora Burton, lifestyle, London, mafia, netball, Netball America, numerical dates, Richard Nixon, Robert Redford, sport, UK, Ultimate Basketball, USA | 3 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 289

Posted on November 12, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Goodbye Daisy Dukes

Oooh, nippy! (Is that a phrase used by Americans? If not, do start using it USA chums – it is very apt when describing chilly weather.)

Anyway, Maryland got cold today. Friends in NYC said they had snow, but whilst temps dropped from the upper 40s to the 30s and, yes, even produced some snowflakes in parts of the area, it was not to be here in Columbia.

But this does mean the Daisy Dukes are off the fashion menu for now, and there is an altogether more miserable Desperate English Housewife holed up against the chill. Sigh.

Cheerio, lovely things

However, this cheered me up today at Howard County Community College :

They really mean it, so I really stopped (and took a picture).

British Wives’ Club in the USA

I hear there is a British Wives’ Club not far from me. I think I might have to hear what these ladies have to say about living in American and whether or not their sense and sensibilities have been shaken since living here.

I suspect we’ll also have tea and talk about how sad it is that David Suchet will no longer be Poirot on the TV back home (sob, sob – America, watch this for fabulous British TV), the weather, places we have travelled to in the USA, how long we’ve lived here, where we like to shop, the lack of driving regulations and how Americans pronounce stuff 🙂

Possibly the best Poirot ever

Or maybe, just maybe, this is the undercover Fight Club I’ve been looking for…. 😉

I suspect not….

Just the one….

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, Britain, British, British Wives' Club, cold, Columbia, Culture, cup of tea, Daisy, Daisy Dukes, David Suchet, driving, expat, food, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, maryland, Poirot, snow, tea, UK, USA, weather | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 288

Posted on November 11, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Veterans’ Day / Remembrance Sunday and Armistice Day

These days are the same but different in the USA and the UK….

Today is Veterans’ Day in the USA. Across the nation, Americans are commemorating the service and sacrifice of military service members this Veterans’ Day.

What kind of thing is happening across the USA? Well, the U.S. military’s first female four-star general is a grand marshal at New York City’s Veterans Day Parade – Gen. Ann E. Dunwoody retired last year after a 37-year Army career. Good for her.

The New York parade

And at the World Trade Center families in the parade carried a giant American flag along Fifth Avenue with some shouting, “Don’t forget 9/11”. Organizers of Monday’s parade up Fifth Avenue have renamed it America’s Parade. They say it’s the largest Veterans Day event in the nation.

Last year on Veterans’ Day I put my blog address of 20 mini-sized footballs, which were being sent out to troops in Afghanistan by my bank. I don’t know if they got to them and if they read my blog, but just in case – ‘Hello to you’, if you are one of those said folk.

Veterans’ Day in NYC

Obama lays a wreath at Arlington Cemetery

Yesterday the UK fell silent in tribute to service personnel who have died during conflicts, as part of the annual Remembrance Sunday service.

A two-minute silence was observed, as always (even if you’re in Tesco at the fruit and veg aisle checking out the ripeness of kiwis, you fall silent to remember). And the Queen laid the first wreath at the Cenotaph in central London. This is a very traditional UK day.

The queen with her poppies

More than 10,000 military veterans and civilian representatives marched past the monument and services also took place at memorials across the UK, in Commonwealth countries and at bases abroad.

Today in the UK is known as Armistice Day and we wear poppies as a sign of respect and remembrance.

Prince Harry lays a wreath on behalf of his father

You know, I like that we have the same days to remember our military and service personnel, but generally it seems the military in the USA is thought of more often and perhaps more highly than back in the UK, and it’s not just on Veterans’ Day.

For instance, when we were at Sea World in Florida before Shamu did her great leaping thing all military personnel from the USA and other countries were invited to stand and were honoured and applauded. I just don’t think you’d get that in the UK. It’s not the first time I’ve seen that happen – people clapping and praising the military and I also observe a whole host of bumper stickers saying ‘Proud parent of marine’ etc. Not sure I’ve ever seen one of those on a car in the UK.

When I mentioned this to someone they said that the regard of the military changed after 9/11 in the USA.

Respect to them all, everywhere.

A proud parent sticker in the USA

Hot tea / iced tea

Picture this…..

So, it’s 8.05am.
I’m in the USA.
I go in to a coffee shop.
Everyone is talking about how cold it is.
I ask for ‘A tea, please.’ (In my best British accent.)
The server says. ‘Hot tea or iced tea?’
For one moment I stumble. Then I say ‘Hot, please….’

Why did I stumble?

Well, the thing is lovely serving people of America, I’m British and I can’t help that when I order tea in the morning and you ask me if I want it ‘iced’ or ‘hot’ I stumble and try not to look incredulous that you have asked me this question, it’s just that, um, of course I would like hot tea…. I’m British (and it’s freezing outside and it’s early in the morning).

Oooh, lovely cuppa

Anyway, I guess it is just a British thing!

(Now for another British thing, and one that somewhat helps and confuses my argument….

Anyway, when I was in Florida for Christmas last year and at the pool at 3pm in the afternoon in 90 degree heat, I asked the barman if he had any hot tea. He looked at me incredulously and replied: ‘No we do not have anything hot. No one ever wants a hot drink in this kind of heat.’ But I do! It’s 3pm in the afternoon, and I would like a nice cup of tea…. I’m British! 😉 )

See, it is possible!

Posted in Travel | Tagged 11 November, accents, America, America's Parade, American, American Parade, Americans, Arlington Cemetery, Armistice Day, Britain, British, Culture, cup of tea, expat, Fifth Avenue, hocoblogs@@@, iced tea, lifestyle, marine, military, New York, Obama, poppies, Prince Harry, proud parent, Remembrance Sunday, service personnel, the Queen, UK, USA, Veterans' Day, weather, wreath | 3 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 287

Posted on November 11, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Shootings in Baltimore

This kind of stuff makes me sad to read, especially when I’ve spent the weekend away telling everyone how super brill Baltimore is…

More shootings in Baltimore

‘Baltimore police say one man was killed in a double shooting in southwest Baltimore.

Police say officers found a man shot and wounded in a car and another man wounded on a nearby sidewalk around 1:15 a.m. Saturday. The man in the car was taken to a hospital, where he died. The other man was expected to survive.

The slaying brings the city’s homicide total for the year to 202. It’s the second consecutive year there have been more than 200 slayings in the city after the total dipped to 197 in 2011. The city has one of the highest per-capita murder rates in the nation.’

202. 😦

Atlanta, Georgia

So, this weekend I headed to Atlanta to play netball (a game that we play in the UK, and which is popular in the Caribbean, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia, and one that is going to take the USA by storm, mark my words!!).

I didn’t see much of Atlanta, because I mostly saw the inside of a hotel and netball courts at a school, but I did note the following things…..

1. 2nd Chance Bail Bond
I drove past this curious place a few times. When I first saw it, it was night time and at first I thought it was an inviting saloon or bar, all lit up and with some rocking chairs on the porch.

See, makes you want to go in!

Then I saw that it was a bail bonds place.

I realised that I noting about bail bonds, so I Googled it, naturally.

Thanks!
‘I am very thankful and blessed. I needed to get my boyfriend out of jail and really didn’t have the funds to do so. I called A 2nd Chance Bail Bonds, explained my situation and they were ready to help. My concern was since I didn’t have a lot to put down, I was waiting on them to say No but instead it was YES!!! They also allowed me to settle my account with a payment plan. No situation is to small for A 2nd Chance Bail Bonds. Now my boyfriend will be able to go back to work and be home with the kids. Thank you Ryan. Call A 2nd Chance Bail Bonds, where you will receive professional, caring, honest HELP. THANK YOU RYAN!!!!!!!!’

‘When my daughter called to ask for help…
When my daughter called to ask for help because she was put in jail, I didn’t know what to do, being out of state!!! After many phone calls I found Ryan of 2nd Chance Bail Bonds. He worked thru the process with me, helped every step of the way, even provided transport to his office when my daughter was released. I really am thankful and recomend (sic) Ryan of 2nd Chance Bail Bonds to any parent who has to face this situation. Thanks again, Ryan.’

Response from Ryan
‘Dear parent, Your absolutely welcome! I’m glad you got in touch with us because we know how it is to have a loved one in jail while being in a different state. Especially your own child. I’m glad we could make it as easy as possible for you in such a difficult/unexpected time because we find that to be extremely important in this business. That’s what separates us from the rest. We are the best! Thank you for your business.’

I don’t think I still know what bail bonds are, but I do think if I ever needed one, I would go to 2nd Chance Saloon – I mean Bail Bonds – and I would say hello to Ryan. Actually, I guess one of my relatives would because I would be in jail…

Because everyone deserves a Second Chance….

2. Kentucky fried chicken‏ looks big in Atlanta

Large chickens

I just wish there had a been a sign for ‘Kenny Rogers’ Chickens’….

(U.S folk – ‘to roger’ is a vernacular verb used in the UK to mean….. 😉 …..so to us, ‘Kenny Rogers(‘) Chickens’ is very, very funny…). Actually, I think it’s called ‘Kenny Rogers’ Roasters’, now, but the former is definitely funnier….

3. The Chattanooga

I saw signs for Chattanooga, Tennessee, as in ‘choo-choo’, which excited me very much!

Chattanooga train thing!

There is also a river called the Chattahoochee, which I just wish I had had time to see, because I love the name 🙂

4. Coca-Cola Museum

The World of Coca-Cola Museum is one of Atlanta’s main tourist attractions. Fact.

Cola fountain (not really)

If you want your teeth to rot and to get your kids hyper, this is the place to go….

I had no idea it was in Atlanta, but very proud of it they are too!

Posted in Travel | Tagged 2nd Change Bail Bonds, America, American, Americans, Atlanta, Baltimore, Blog, Britain, British, Chattahoochee River, Chattanooga, Coca-Cola museum, expat, Georgia, hocoblogs@@@, Kenny Rogers Chickens, Kentucky Fried Chicken, netball, Netball America, police, Shootings, Tennessee, Travel, UK, USA | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 286

Posted on November 7, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Prison inmates and Bea Gaddy

So, I had a chat with a prison officer yesterday at one of Maryland’s Correctional Facilities to arrange to go in and have a look round and talk to some inmates about how they’re coming through the rehabilitation process.

The officer told me about something that is happening today at Maryland Correctional Enterprises (MCE) is the ‘prison industry arm’.

The MCE does some really good work

I had not idea what the MCE is (I actually have no idea about the U.S prison system, apart from the for-entertainment-purposes-only nonsense portrayed on TV and in the movies, which is why I want to find out about it). Anyway, the MCE makes everything from meat to license plates to furniture – that is, the prisoners do. They also plant bay grasses and trees, do graphic design and recycling, and handle laundry, picture frames, partitions, flags, uniforms and a whole load more stuff for state and local government agencies and non-profits. The MCE exists to teach inmates skills and a work ethic and is totally self-supporting.

It’s in the top ten in the nation in both number of inmates employed (2,000+ in an average month) and sales.

Lovely Bea

I got invited to go to Hagerstown today (which I can’t do, sadly) to watch and chat to inmates at the Meat Plant. For more than 20 years inmates donated their time and services to de-bone and cook hundreds of turkeys every autumn for one of the largest Thanksgiving charity dinners in eastern America: the Bea Gaddy dinner in Baltimore. Ms. Gaddy, who died a few years ago, was a formerly homeless person who became an advocate and, later, a city council person. Her family and supporters have carried on the dinner tradition and her fulltime soup kitchen and other services since her death.

The Bea Gaddy dinner

The prison officer told me: ‘The inmates are proud and honored to be a part of this effort, and are glad to pay society back in such a meaningful way.’

See, that’s the kind of thing I’m interested in. Bet you learned a whole lot of stuff there, didn’t you? I did 🙂

Blog party

Another blog party in HoCo! Yep, we bloggers know how to party!

What did I learn at this blog party?

Me and Bill, we’re happy bloggers

1. I learned that the Inner Arbor Development is not spelled with a ‘u’ and that it is a very interesting time for Columbia. The Inner Arbor concept plan in Symphony Woods Park will see ‘nature, art, culture, music, and design come together.’ Oooh, how fabulous (with a ‘u’).

2. Columbia is a small place to live, especially as a Brit. ‘Were you teaching a class at the Swim Center on Monday?’ ‘Yes I was.’ ‘I thought it was you because of your British accent.’ 🙂

3. People do read my blog and they like that I ‘write in a British way’. Thanks awfully chaps. 😉

Fall/Autumn

Whatever you call it, it looks phenomenal.

Glorious

Colours / colors

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, Autumn, Baltimore, Bea Gaddy, Bea Gaddy dinner, Blog, blog party, bloggers, Britain, British, Columbia, expat, fall, hocoblogs@@@, homeless, Howard County, Inner Arbor, maryland, Maryland Correctional Enterprises, Maryland's Correctional Facilities, prison, prisoners, Symphony Woods, Thanksgiving, turkeys, UK, USA | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 285

Posted on November 6, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Move over Martin O’Malley

So, you might know if you’ve been following this blog for a while that, even before I moved to the USA, I had a big crush on Martin O’Malley, Governor of Maryland.

Well, now I have a new crush that has superseded Martin and his fine torso and arms and rock God status.

Goodbye Martin, it was fun while it lasted….

My new UK Desperate Housewife crush is Calvin Ball. Calvin is a member of the County Council in Howard County, representing District 2. I’ve seen him at events and heard his gloriously rich laugh, follow him on Facebook and Twitter and such like. BUT….last night he was at my friend Tom’s Celebrating Howard County event and I met him 🙂

‘Mr Dreamy’

‘Do you know Claire?’ says Tom.
‘Ah, yes….’ says Calvin.
I go to shake his hand (being a Brit).
Calvin hugs me.
I grin like a school girl and blabber something about how lovely it was to meet him to face to face.

Later that evening I confess my girly crush on the ever-cheery Calvin to chums. ‘I think I have a new crush,’ I declare. ‘On Calvin Ball.’ ‘Doesn’t everyone?’ come the cooing replies from both male and female supporters alike. ‘He’s dreamy…’, they add. Yes, he is.

And he’s like a super good guy doing super good things in the county, and he has a super lovely family. Just super and lovely all round! 😉

We like the ‘tache Calvin!

One of speakers last night said that he comes to Howard County just to see Calvin. Yes, if I lived outside of Howard County, I would too.

Howard County Historical Society Museum

I managed to have a good old nose around this museum in Ellicott City, which was all new to me.

Oooh, what a treasure trove!

Early in 2006 the Society was the recipient of artifacts, photographs, and documents from a direct descendant of Andrew Ellicott, one of the founders of Ellicott City and early America’s foremost surveyor. Some of the stuff in there just felt so American. Take a look…

Did you know that he wed in Ellicott City? Well, now you do!

I’m not sure this is something we would see in the UK

Oldy-worldy Americana peeps

This is so….American

See, America DOES have history! So, you naughty Brits who take the p*ss out of that fact that America’s history started somewhat later than ours, here’s proof! 😉

P.S. Don’t forget, you can vote for my blog EVERYDAY here: http://data.baltimoresun.com/mobbies/2013/ (Personal Blog and Lifestyle Blog sections). Cheers!

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, American history, Americans, Blog, Britain, British, Calvin Ball, County Council, Culture, District 2, District 9B Ellicott City, Ellicott City, expat, Governor of Maryland, history, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, Howard County Historical Society Museum, Martin O'Malley, maryland, Mobbies, Tom Coale, UK, USA | 6 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 284

Posted on November 6, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Thingamajig Church, Dixon, Illinois

So, there is a church in Dixon, Illinois, that many people have said is shaped like a you-know-what…..

See what they’re saying….?! 😉

The church was intentionally designed to curve around an oak tree in order to protect it, but has unintentionally taken on a rather phallic appearance when viewed from above.

Now, the Christian Science Church in Dixon, Illinois has promised to protect its modesty by telling Facebook followers a “giant fig leaf [is] coming soon”, after an aerial image of their building went viral.

The Church recently moved into their new premises, but failed to notice the phallic design until one resident looked at the building from an aerial position using Google Earth and posted a screen grab online.

The phallus shaped church also has the slogan “rising up” as its motto. Gawd bless them.

Turkducken

What is that? My words exactly upon hearing discussion of said thing!

It is this: Turducken is a dish consisting of a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, which is in turn stuffed into a deboned turkey. The word turducken is a portmanteau of turkey, duck, and chicken. The dish is a form of ‘engastration’, which is a recipe method in which one animal is stuffed inside the gastric passage of another.

Hmmmm!

It takes ages to prepare and those who have the time enjoy it at Thanksgiving (if they have time).

Bird in a bird in a bird…

Baltimore’s bad rap

Sometimes I think Baltimore gets a bad rap. Sure, it has its bad areas and sure, there are places you don’t want to get lost in, but so do many places. Like most things that people haven’t experienced, they become fearful of something or simply hear the bad stuff and go along with that. Baltimore is, in truth, a pretty darn cool city (in places 😉 ).

Mooching around Baltimore on an autumnal Saturday afternoon, I found the downtown of the city to be charming, interesting, welcoming, intriguing, fascinating and even beautiful.