ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 372

Posted on March 2, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Mailbox / letterbox

Study this picture:

Mailbox / letterbox

Harry’s homework was to draw a picture of the ‘Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe’.

Being the creative type he is, he actually drew the ‘Old Woman Who Lived in a Tiger Foot’. He drew her at the window and then he drew the door and promptly put in a letterbox, which is what we have in the UK.

‘Ooh, a British letterbox!’ I cried, delighted that he remembered them.

And then he paused and said: ‘I’ll give her an American mailbox too.’

Which is what that thing is with the initials ‘MB’ outside the tiger foot.

What is interesting to me is that he is merging the two worlds in which he lived and lives in his creative drawings. And I like that. Long may that continue in his British/American head 🙂 .

The Gobby Brit

I discovered a new British/American blog recently entitled The Gobby Brit.

I love this title (cos most of us are pretty gobby!) and I thought I should share some of the musings of Sharon, the British lady who write the blog. Our thoughts on things are very similar, as is our British sense of humour, so this really resonated with me. I’ve a feeling Sharon and I might just meet up when I hit the West Coast this year! (I also LOVE that she said the phrase mentioned in no.10 – excellent work! I shall attempt this also in American company to gauge the reaction!!)

In addition, it made me realise that, even after 20 years living in the States, sometimes you just are who you are, and Sharon is definitely a Brit!

This is her guest post. Enjoy. 🙂

The Gobby Brit
I’m a 20 year expat from England, currently living in Southern California where I work and play (well, work mainly). Both my children were young when we emigrated and are now fully fledged bilingual “Yanks”. Cultural and language differences were hard to overcome; we truly are two nations divided by a common language. Your average American does not fully understand English sarcasm and hence, I have been called opinionated, rude and harsh – which I believe is American for a ‘gobby cow’!

Having bored all my new friends with said opinions, my blog is a means of expressing myself in a funny, candid and sometimes snarky way. Hope you enjoy.

CalifornIA 🙂

A Language Divided
There is nothing so annoying than emigrating to a new country which speaks the same language as you, to find that actually, they don’t speak anything like you – at all. Having lived in the USA for 20 years now, I still occasionally have problems. Here’s a few of my disastrous language faux pas, a couple of pet peeves and observations:

10. English Come Back’s Don’t Work
I had not been dating my American boyfriend for very long when he took me to a motorcycle event. Obviously there were big bad bikers everywhere and one young gentleman standing next to me was trying to light a cigarette and called out “Does anyone have a match? – without missing a beat I came back with “Your face, my arse,” – as you do – *silence* .. nobody said anything, you could hear a pin drop. I think I could hear my heart beating for a while, sure it would stop any minute. Oopsie… I was told, in no uncertain terms, that was rude and I probably shouldn’t do it again. And I can assure you, I haven’t.

9. Katsup is Ketchup
I spent one fruitless afternoon wandering around Stater Brothers Supermarket looking for recipe ingredients, which included katsup, which I couldn’t find anywhere. I finally gave up and asked a little old lady where it was. She took me by the hand and walked me around to the aisle with the condiments, saying “Here it is honey”… “Oh no,” says I, “I’m looking for Katsup, this is tomato sauce.” Apparently it’s the same thing – exit stage right, with red face.

Sauce?

8. I Can’t Order Water
“Could I have a glass of water please?” “Excuse me?”, “A glass of water?” … I have discovered I should ask for “WAAA-DURRR”. Works every time!

7. Tea Comes with Lemon
Order a cup of tea anywhere and you must ask for ‘hot tea,’ or you will get iced tea. Invariably you will get one weak teabag and a slice of lemon. Some places even give you a cup of hot water and a pot of hot water, but still with that single teeny teabag. Try as I might, I cannot get a good cuppa. Ask for milk and you get ‘that look’.

Sharon – I’ve grown rather partial to this now! 😉

6. American Men Love the English Accent
Enough said!

5. American Women Want an English Accent
I don’t know how many times I have been parroted by an American lady who thinks she can speak the Queen’s English as well as me. It’s frightfully annoying!

4. English Pubs are Not English Pubs
It doesn’t matter how hard they try, you just can’t get a good old English Pub. Generally the definition “English Pub” means a lot of fake wooden beams, dodgy suits of armour and quite possibly an old red telephone box out the front (where do they get them from?) Televisions are everywhere and the food menu always includes a weird version of Shepherd’s Pie. Oh Ye Olde English Pub how I miss thee.

Ah, an English pub!

3. Aluminium is Not a Word
I’m not sure I can even say it properly anymore without getting tongue-tied. (*sad face*)

2. American Football is Not Football
This is a topic for a whole new blog post wherein I may suggest it’s a version of rugby.

Or rugby…?

AND… my number ONE peeve
Why, oh why, do I have to have turkey four weeks before Christmas?? It’s bound to ruin my perfectly English Christmas dinner – roast potatoes, Brussels sprouts, Yorkshire pud and all the trimmings. But when you’ve had turkey only four weeks before it takes a bit of a shine off the enjoyment. Thanksgiving dinner should be something different – maybe ham, which most Americans seem to eat at Christmas – umm, perhaps it’s because you had turkey in November??

Yes, it is a first world problem, but I’m not called a gobby cow for nothing!

😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, American football, American pubs, Americans, Blog, Britain, British, British accent, California, Christmas, Culture, cup of tea, England, English, English pubs, expat, expats, food, football, Gobby Brit, hocoblogs@@@, ketchup, language, letterbox, lifestyle, mailbox, Queen's English, Rugby, tea with lemon, Thanksgiving, Thoughts, turkey, UK, USA | 6 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 371

Posted on March 1, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Love Actually

I’ve been talking to my friends about Love Actually, that Brit movie in which Brits go to America and Hugh Grant is Prime Minister. There is a lot of love for it in the USA.

Especially, this bit…

I love this clip, because it is a) pretty funny and b) it reminds that I like getting asked to say words in my British accent (most of the time). But yes, we do say ‘table’ the same, so don’t bother with that one.

However, a recent debate has been raging about Love Actually. It’s certainly not the best movie ever (and that’s from someone who can’t STAND romcoms), but it has its charm.

But, one commentator says thus: ‘The movie is two-plus hours of soggy, ridiculous, British-accented claptrap. Tell me I’m wrong. And then tell me how Hugh Grant can possibly be the prime minister of England, because: WHAT?’ 😉

Quite. And yet I’m quite sure I would rather watch Hugh Grant than David Cameron do this…

Pancake Day

Gordon Bennett, it’s Pancake Day in the UK on Tuesday! That’s Shrove Tuesday in the UK.

(Sometimes I think that every day could be pancake day in the USA, if you would wish it to be 😉 ).

If you American folk out there want to know how to make a pancake the UK way, here’s your link.

Delish!

Our British pancakes are slightly thinner and less heavy than the American pancakes I’ve experienced. American pancakes are like dollops (or do I mean dollar pancakes?) and our British ones veer more towards the crepe style. Our mixture is really, really, really runny. Like really runny.

Anyway, here in the States Shrove Tuesday it is known as Fat Tuesday. And, before any rude comments about this and the other statement I made above, let us remember that no matter where in the world you celebrate it, or what you call it, it’s traditionally a day when we clear the pantry of ‘heavy’ foods in preparation for the austerity of Lent, that begins on Ash Wednesday. The preceding period of gluttony is often accompanied by heavy drinking (oh, I didn’t know that bit!) and much merriment, as the holiday offers a chance for otherwise pious observers to ‘let it all hang out.’

Well, then, feel free to let it all hang out where ever you are 🙂 .

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, Britain, British, crepe, Culture, David Cameron, England, English, expat, Fat Tuesday, food, hocoblogs@@@, Hugh Grant, Kris Marshall, Lent, Love Actually, Pancake Day, pancakes, Prime Minister, Shrove Tuesday, UK, USA | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 370

Posted on February 28, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Being sick or poorly…..

I am confused about whether I am sick or ill or poorly in America.

I’ve been right old ‘poorly’, as we would say in the UK. But in the USA – or is it just this East Side, I don’t know – apparently I’ve been ‘sick’.

But when I used this phrase to my husband he thought I was actually throwing up kind of sick, since that’s how we use it in the UK. We would use to point out the following:

‘I’ve been sick (barfing)’
‘I’m about to be sick (vomit)’; or
‘Get a bucket, I’m being sick (literally throwing up)’
That kind of thing. 😉

I’ve got a cold and a fluey type thing – I’m poorly, non? Non. I am sick in America-land.

This recent [rather obnoxious anti-American] tweet highlights some of my confusion.

I hear what you’re saying!

So, as I got more poorly / sicker I had to go to the doctors and, even though I knew it was just a fluey type thing, before the doc saw me I had to get weighed and have my pulse checked and wotnot, and I’m yelling inside: ‘Don’t frigging weigh me, I’ve been feeding this cold, goddammit! And no need to take my pulse – my nose is blocked, not my arteries.’

Anyway, suffice to say I am no longer sick, ill or poorly 🙂 .

HoCoBlog party

Us bloggers rallied together again for a Howard County drinkiepoos session.

We all sit and write behind our computers, so it’s nice to put a face to a blog when you can!

There are loads of new bloggers in the community – so welcome to you 🙂 . Great work @hocoblogs for putting this on again.

I managed to photobomb Courtney Watson – I look like a little imp on her shoulder!

Photobomber!!!

Harry’s assessment of the event, however was thus: ‘God, grown up parties are so noisy and boring and everyone just stands around talking really loudly and drinking.’

We gals rock (whilst standing around talking and drinking!)

Harry’s favourite American presidents

Harry has informed me that he has two favourite American presidents. These are Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama. Excellent to have made a choice at six years old.

The former is chosen for his stance against slavery (‘he stopped white people owning black people’) and the latter for being nice (‘He is very smiley’).

He said all sorts of clever stuff, he did 🙂

George Washington, however, does not feature on his favourites list (‘I don’t think it was very nice to kick out the English…..and I even have to sing that he was a great, great man…Sigh.’) 🙂 .

Posted in Travel | Tagged Abraham Lincoln, accents, America, American, Americans, Barack Obama, being sick, Blog, blog parties, Britain, British, Courtney Watson, Culture, English, expat, George Washington, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, ill, poorly, President of the USA, sick, UK, USA, vomit | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 369

Posted on February 27, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Arizona

Well, I’ve been following this Arizona nonsense about discriminating against same-sex couples. And, at last, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer vetoed a controversial bill that would have allowed businesses in the state to deny service to gays and lesbians if they felt that serving them would violate their religious rights. Really? Really, really? Oh Arizona, such codswallop to have even considered such a bill in place in the first place. It’s 2014!

Hopefully it will welcome EVERYONE 🙂

I didn’t know that the state lost the ability to host the Super Bowl in the early 1990s after it declined to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Really? Really, really?! Oh my, Arizona, oh my.

‘Curl’

In my fitness class I often ask my ladies to ‘curl’ as in to ‘bicep curl’. Today I realised that I shout this word with a rather thick Somerset accent attached to it. It sounds like I am extending the ‘rrrrrrr’ part of the word. I pointed this out to my British friend who is in my class – how we laughed!

‘I say “curl” like I’m from Somerset!’ I said. ‘Oh hang, on I am from Somerset.’

I don’t think the lovely American ladies in the class knew what the flippin’ heck we were on about.

The Somerset accent is one all of its own and has its own dialect, even. Such as ‘Whirr be gwain to?’ and ‘Tiz getting dimpsey, zo cummin yer an wet thee’s whistle.’ and ‘Dang I if there ain’t a gurt big wapse innun.’ Etc.

These girls describe the Somerset accent and its hilarious dialect for your pleasure 🙂 .

Liverpool accent

In addition to this Somerset thing going on with me, I am finding, curiously, that I am saying certain things to my American friends with a Liverpudlian accent. I do not know why this is, though I seem to have nailed it down to particular comments or phrases that I say at the end of a sentence, which might be deemed to be funny, or embarrassing, or, perhaps, unnecessary.

For instance, I said something yesterday about the sun coming out for a bit and I added at the end (in a Scouse accent) ‘It’s great though, innit.’ as if I were an extra on Brookside. I don’t think the American mother with whom I was conversing got what I was saying at all. And I don’t blame her.

Today, after a key got stuck in a lock, an American said the keys got stuck because of the cold, and I replied, in a Scouse accent ‘They do though, don’t they, though….’

Much like the Beatles….

Anyway, apologies, Americans. I’m not sure why this is happening, but I am fully aware that the shift in my accent is both confusing and slightly weird.

😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, anti-gay legislation, Arizona, Beatles, bicep curl, Blog, Britain, British, Brookside, Culture, dialect, English, expat, Governor Jan Brewer, hocoblogs@@@, language, Liverpool accent, Martin Luther King Day, Scouse, Somerset, Super Bowl, Thoughts, UK, USA, weather | 1 Comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 368

Posted on February 26, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Liberty Insurance Man

This man was dressed as the Statue of Liberty today in the cold. He was promoting Liberty Insurance on the side of the road. Just made me laugh. I don’t think we’d get this kind of thing in the UK. Maybe in Slough, perhaps, but then they’d be taken away by the Police Community Support Officers.

Good for him – I hope he didn’t get too cold. By Jove, he was sure waving and smiling despite the freezing temperatures 😉 .

Dude.

Two years ago….

Nearly two years ago I visited this land of America. It was just before St Patrick’s Day and I was here checking out the area we would live in. It was so hot, I had to go to the Mall and buy shorts and I sat in Centennial Park, Howard County, and sunbathed for a bit.

Pretty ain’t it?

I thought I’d take a look back at some of my first impressions of the USA and Howard County….has my view changed, have I changed, has the place changed…? Here are some of the best bits!

March 2012

Day 1

Check list for USA going-to-live-there reccy trip……

– Received pronunciation / British accent practice for maximum impact / possible upgrades – check.

– Racy/inappropriate outfit for wives club afternoon tea to ensure eyebrows are raised – check.

– Bikini/Daisy Dukes/flip-flops (it says it could hit 24 degrees – celcius that is) – check.

– Child – not required.

Yeehah!

Day 2

– Main observations so far: freeway driving (kind of serene), awesomeness (it just is), gumbo prawns (holy crap, they’re good!), extreme politeness (big love), restrooms (simply amuses me) and gospel Sunday morning TV (yikes, freaky).

– Today: we encountered several “I love your accent” and “the way you talk is awesome” comments; I bought cookies from girl scouts; went to the mall and bought stuff; and drank at a juice bar. Happy days!

It’s cookie time!

Day 3

The story so far……

YIELD – a little used word in the English language, but a much-used word on American road signs. An oddity that I have perused for much of my sleepless night.

NETBALL – speaking with a lovely young lady who showed us round the family sports center (note irregular use of the -er) I commented upon my netball addiction and desire to play in the States. Her reply? “Netball, what’s thaaaaaat?”. I see one of my many roles to fulfill out here will be an entire country’s education about my beloved sport.

BAGELS – cinnamon, choc chip, jalepeno, stuffed with egg, cheese, Hershey sauce etc. This is an industry in itself and one that I must explore more.

What an assortment!

DRIVING – I feel I am rather good at it, since I learnt to drive on the right in Gibraltar and it’s all coming back to me. I encountered a rare roundabout yesterday and it was a strange sensation going round the ‘wrong way’.

POLICE – I have not yet seen any ‘po-po’ (I am adopting this slang from my widespread viewing of American TV series, especially The Wire, which is useful since I am not far from Baltimore). This I find surprising.

Side note – hello office gals! I am currently not missing the office 🙂

Later observations…

LITTER – there is none, whatsoever.
MAN IN TIGER SUIT – advertising tyres and waving.
RESTROOMS – yes, you can see through the gap. Slightly voyeuristic.
WEATHER – hot!

There are peek-through gaps (and Harry does peek!!)

Day 4

Today I…LIVED THREE HOURS OF BEING A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE – it truly is just like it!

TOOK A WRONG TURNING – got caught on the freeway and went all round the rather lovely houses.

GOT ANNOYED BY ALL THE FRIGGING ADVERTS ON TV – how do they keep up with the (generally crap) programme? The adverts generally consist of health information or sales of anti-depressants or weight loss or other ailments I’ve never even heard of. Then they stop and all of a sudden another crap programme comes on, and I’m sure the other one hadn’t finished. All very confusing.

AM GLAD I DID NOT VISIT MARYLAND UNIVERSITY CAMPUS TODAY – there’s some nutter student threatening to shoot people there. Best avoid that, then.

Day 5

– God, this is really hard sitting out in 74 degrees, drinking “cwoffee”, chatting to fabulous American women about fabulous things.

– Shaneece at the Estee Lauder counter in Macy’s said I looked Californian. I love Shaneece. And Estee Lauder. And Macy’s. And California, even though I haven’t been there yet. Still, Shaneece thinks I would fit right in. Bless Shaneece.

– There is a lake near Columbia “town center”. Columbia does not actually have what we would call a town centre. It has a shopping mall. This happens to be near it.

See ya, America-land. You and I generally seem compatible. See you in August…!

Ah, the Daisy Dukes!

Interesting observations from nearly two years ago.

And…
– Yes, I still love driving here (most of the time!);
– Yes, people still ask if I am from California;
– Yes, I’m sure I do still love the weather WHEN IT IS HOT;
– Yes, the gun culture still disturbs me;
– Yes, I still think there is work to do to give Columbia a ‘town center’;
– Yes, the toilet doors still have large gaps in; and
– Yes, the way we talk is still awesome!

Cheers America, I think we’re still compatible 😉 .

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, bagels, Baltimore, Blog, Britain, British, California, Centennial Park, coffee, Columbia, Columbia Mall, Culture, Daisy Dukes, driving, Ellicott City, expat, food, Girl Scout cookies, guns, Howard County, Liberty Insurance, Macy's, maryland, Po-Po, police, shorts, Slough, St Patrick's Day, summer, sun, The Wire, Thoughts, toilet doors, Travel, TV commercials, UK, weather, yield sign | 3 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 367

Posted on February 25, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Little British kid

Poor little Harry is struggling a little with some areas of American reasoning.

Like being told off for saying ‘Darn it’ at the child care place he goes to.

Apparently when they told him off he responded thus (in his best British accent): ‘Darn it isn’t a bad word in England. I do know some bad words that are very bad though…’ They cut him off at that point.

Is this really swearing?!

I agree with him. ‘Darn it’ is totally mild, and a whole lot better than ‘crap’ or ‘bugger’ or some of the other expletives that we spout forth that may, or may not, be in ear shot of him on occasion 😉 .

It is my humble British opinion that the reaction to ‘darn it’ is a slight over-reaction. Isn’t ‘darn it’ a kind of nice way of saying ‘goddamnit’, and I know that is considered cussing for sure in the USA! I also know that he didn’t pick up ‘darn it’ from me, because I’m more of an ‘Oh shit’ person myself 😉 . I’m sure ‘darn it’ is used more commonly in America than the UK, and is not really considered cussing – is it folks?!

😉

Anyway, being the little cheeky Brit chap that he is, he further riled his child carers by repeating the word ‘bottom’ as per the minions in Despicable Me 2….

‘Perhaps don’t say that word, Harry,’ I suggested.
Sigh. ‘At least I didn’t say bum.’

Quite.

White Oak Tavern American-style

Us Howard County bloggers are meeting for a blog gathering on Thursday at a new place in Ellicott City called the White Oak Tavern.

Oooh, sounds like a lovely traditional British pub, I thought to myself.

I looked it up.

Um, not quite what I was expecting….!

I should know by now that in Columbia and new bits of Ellicott City that the exterior of all these buildings all look the same and are usually situated in some kind of 1970s precinct, and, whilst I had a slight pang in my heart for a cosy fireside British pub with deers’ heads hanging on the wall, stools with the buttock imprints from gentlemen who have sat at the bar with their tankard for the past 45 years, roaring log fires, a menu of crusty breads and mackerel pate and cheeses, and cosy little nooks to bury yourself in, I’m guessing that this White Oak Tavern will be what it is meant to be in this area (a bar), and very pleasant it will be too. (Tho I suspect that there will be lots of TV screens on the walls. Sigh.)

Ah, cosy British pub, how do I miss thee?!

The menu looks pretty good, so I will go with AN OPEN MIND! Never judge a book by its cover, hey?!

Posted in Travel | Tagged 1970s, America, American, American bars, Americans, blogging, Britain, British, British pubs, Columbia, Culture, cussing, darn it, deers heads, Despicable Me 2, Ellicott City, England, English, expat, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County bloggers, language, mackerel pate, maryland, swearing, Thoughts, Travel, UK, USA, White Oak Tavern | 10 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 366

Posted on February 23, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Spelling dilemma

So, Harry had to write down the book he likes to read most of all in the ‘class book’ to share with his friends as part of his homework on Friday. Simple, right?

Not when the sentence includes the word ‘favourite’ and when he’s asking his British ma how to spell that word, she spells it with a ‘u’.

When we looked at the final sentence, I guessed he might get a spelling correction from his teacher when this book is returned to school on Monday.

Don’t be misled by this statement – it’s actually a very crap book!

But what to do about that? Favorite/favourite. When Harry returns to school in the UK he will be spelling it with a ‘u’ and I kind of figure that in Kindergarten there is some room for leniency on spelling 😉 . I await the red pen response!

The Daisy Dukes are out!

The Daisy Dukes got their first outing of 2014 today. It was bloody lovely and warm! And yet there was still snow on the ground! Time for some Daisy Dukes action shots in the snow! 😉

Daisy Dukes and flip flops in February in the snow!

Happy to see some sun at last 🙂

Evening in the Stacks: Vintage Vegas

Last night I hung out with some of the truly top folk I have met during my USA journey in Howard County. We were at the Miller Branch Library in Ellicott City raising funds for library and education initiatives. It was voted the Number One Library System of 2013, and it really is pretty amazeballs.

So, I was there pouring drinkie-poos for an hour with my fellow ‘celebrity bartenders’ to try and raise more money, and we did a pretty good job of it. Mickey Gomez won for the third year running! Brillopads! Ian Kennedy and I worked as a team (pretty much because I couldn’t work out how the bloody hell to work the bottle opener – thanks Ian! 😉 )

And there was a whole lot of group hugging from the folks of Howard County, especially by the Martini bar. I don’t know if this is special or particular to Howard County, but these events are a blast and brilliantly put together, and I have a little tick in my head that says we should do more things like this in the UK – or rather, I would be keen to organise something like this where I live in the UK at some point…..

Anyhow, back to event! Everyone was on top banana form.

‘Let’s do a selfie and tweet it!’ says Courtney Watson! Cool! (I mentioned before how Courtney has one of THOSE smiles – how could I refuse?!)

Courtney Watson and Jessie Newburn and me (trying to figure out the flash!)

‘I wanna be in your blog! Get a photo!’ some people requested. Well, here’s the evidence of last night’s fun for a good cause.

And yes, to confirm, I am dressed as a showgirl (it was Vintage Vegas themed!!), and yes, I did fall over in the library at the end of the night. Because I am a very classy Brit 😉 .

Bar tending with Ian Kennedy and his excellent beard

Such fun!

Being interviewed for Comcast

The charming Guy Guzzone and lovely Courtney Watson

Me and Wendy Jane Royalty, don’t ya know!

Bill Woodcock aka The Marshmallow Man

First time I’d chatted with Allan Kittleman – and a jolly nice chap he is too!

My USA bestie, Nicole, and I hang with Dylan Goldberg, who will probably be President of the USA in 10 years’ time 🙂

Tom Coale being effervescent and charming all night long :)

Tom Coale was effervescent and charming all night long 🙂

What a weekend! Thanks America, this little Brit had super fun! 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Americans, Blog, Britain, British, celebrity bartender, Columbia, Courtney Watson, Daisy Dukes, Dylan Goldberg, education, Ellicott City, Evening in the Stacks, expat, Guy Guzzone, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, Howard County Libra, Ian Kennedy, Jessie Newburn, language, Mickey Gomez, school, snow sun, Thoughts, Tom Coale, UK, UK spelling, USA, USA spelling, Wendy Jane Royalty | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 365

Posted on February 21, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Two nations divided by a common language

George Bernard Shaw was correct when he said/wrote that line. (Some think it was Oscar Wilde who said it, and as much as I love that dude, I’m pretty convinced it was GBS.)

As a Brit in the USA I often say things and they are misunderstood, or not understood at all. It’s still quite charming, and one of the differences between us that I really enjoy experiencing and writing about.

Larder/pantry

I gave a talk about nutrition to a group of American ladies recently. I asked them if they ‘reached for things in their larder without a thought’ and they were very confused.

‘Larder….where you keep your food…?’ I added.

‘Oh, a pantry!’ they declared.

Ah, ‘pantry’ – of course! They thought I had said ‘ladder’.

Yes, that’s right – because it is a little known fact that we British store our food in very high up places and often require ladders to reach it. 😉

Larder or pantry – you choose. Actually, some of those things look quite high up. I might need a ladder to get them 😉

2. Indicators / turn signals

Since I have been living in the States I find myself saying/yelling certain things a lot more.

This is one of them when I am in the car….

‘Indicate! Use your f*cking indicator!’

I’ve realised that what I actually should have been yelling, so that my American cousins on the road could understand me, was: ‘Use your f*cking turn signal!’.

Aren’t I the silly one? 🙂

With one small flick of a knob you can show me which way you’re going (that’s what she said / as the actress said the bishop… 🙂

How to confuse Americans

I love this video by this couple showing how Americans can get confused by Britishisms. It’s like the sort of video HR play you in your staff induction when you start in a new job. Hilarious! They need their own show 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, American English, Americans, Britain, British, British English, Columbia, Culture, driving, England, English language, expat, George Bernard Shaw, hocoblogs@@@, indicators, ladder, larder, Oscar Wilde, pantry, Thoughts, turn signals, UK, USA | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 364

Posted on February 19, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Walgreens, you make me happy when skies are grey/gray…

The Walgreens where I live, in Columbia, is a very happy place.

It is very American to me – in a good way. The music, what’s on the shelves, the people who shop there, the folk who work there – all of that makes it just Walgreens. I’ve no idea what other Walgreens are like in the country, but this one is just top notch! It has all sorts of bits and bobs in there and they are sooooo helpful to try and find something for you, but without being in your face.

Oh my, I think I actually look forward to going to Walgreens. And, a bit like the Target shopping experience, I always come out with stuff I didn’t go in there for. Oh crap, I forgot the milk.

Such a happy place!

When the staff in Walgreens say ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘have a great day’ I feel like they really do mean it, and, do you know what, after having been in Walgreens, I rather think I shall! 😉

Ah, America!

A question was posed today by BBC America to us Brits over here: What’s the most bizarre or hilarious thing that’s happened to you since you landed on U.S. soil?

I can think of so many!

But these are my top two for today 🙂 …..

USA Pants vs UK Pants (May 2013)

Harry and I attended a most excellent blog event at Greenberries with a new bunch of Americans ladies one evening this week and Harry was enjoying the attention as the only child there.

Harry decided to stand up and tell a short story to the crowd, flitting with ease between his British and American accents.

‘So he can speak in both accents?’ ask the lovely, smart American ladies.
‘Oh yes,’ I say, proudly. ‘Harry, say something in American.’

So Harry points to his trousers and declares in his American accent:
‘These are my pants.’

Then he PULLS DOWN HIS TROUSERS/PANTS, points to his underpants and declares in his best British accent: ‘And these are my pants.’

My most excellent, talented son 🙂

British pants / underpants….

Mailbox (August 2012)

We have a mailbox (just like in the movies) at the end of our street, and we need a key to open it.

It appears to me that they key is not working. I try many keys. I wonder if a neighbour might intervene.

Throughout the day I try and try again.

To my husband I say, the key for the mailbox is not working.

You just go round to the front of it, he says, and we’re box number six.

Oh, I say, I’ve obviously been trying the back of it.

That’s the postman’s/mailman’s (note) side, says he.

So THAT’S the front….

In my defense, I’ve been very, very busy and am very, very tired. I have since found out it is a federal offence to attempt to access the mailman’s side. Oopsie!

Posted in Travel | Tagged America, American, Americans, BBC America, Blog, Britain, British, Columbia, Culture, expat, federal offence, hocoblogs@@@, mailbox, pants, phramacy, post box, Thoughts, UK, underpants, USA, Walgreens | 11 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 363

Posted on February 16, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Mountains

I have to be honest, until you see something, sometimes you don’t even realise you miss it.

Like mountains.

We’ve been wedged in between work and snow days for the past few weeks, and with the knowledge that we’re half way through our USA journey this week gnawing away in our heads and our hearts, we rolled out the Bucket List.

West Virginia.
Not a state we’ve been to before – check.
Civil War History – check.
Old stuff – check.
New scenery – check.
Let’s go!

Mountains of WV

And as we headed west out of Maryland and crossed the state line into West Virginia, it really did begin to feel like we had entered another state. It just felt different, and that difference was predominantly made up of mountains. Appalachian ones at that.

I didn’t realise that I missed mountains (or large hills), rolling and undulating ahead of you, but I guess I do. I am very used to the flatness of Maryland, particularly Columbia. The only thing intruding on the skyline here is office blocks, apartment blocks, or malls. But these mountains were a welcome and interesting intrusion to this skyline.

West Virgnia

West Virginia is, I read, located in the Appalachian region of the Southern United States and is bordered by Virginia to the southeast, Kentucky to the southwest, Ohio to the northwest, Pennsylvania to the north, and Maryland to the northeast. It is the 41st largest by area and the 38th most populous of the 50 United States.

Beautiful, but bloody freezing

West Virginia became a state following the Wheeling Conventions, in which 50 northwestern counties of Virginia whose landowners owned few to no slaves decided to break away from Virginia during the American Civil War. The new state was admitted to the Union on June 20, 1863, and was a key Civil War border state. West Virginia was the only state to form by seceding from a Confederate state and was one of two states formed during the American Civil War (the other being Nevada, which separated from Utah Territory).

Such history!

Harpers Ferry

‘I don’t fancy going on a ferry,’ I said to my other half when he said about popping into the town of Harpers Ferry.
‘Um, there isn’t a ferry,’ he chuckled back at me.

No, there wasn’t, thankfully. FYI, it’s far too cold to go on a ferry, is what I was thinking 😉 .

We couldn’t quite work out if Harpers Ferry was a town made to look like it had belonged in the Civil War, of if it was a town that had been built in the Civil War and was still standing, or even if we were in a town that had been used in film sets from Civil War movies to Deliverance. (I checked; it wasn’t!)

Harpers Ferry

Anyway, it looked pretty authentic, whichever decade it was built in, and oodles of historical stuff to be found.

Harpers Ferry is situated at the confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers where the U.S. states of Maryland, Virginia and West Virginia meet. Historically, Harpers Ferry is best known for John Brown’s raid on the Armory in 1859 and its role in the American Civil War.