Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 342

Expert expat

Apparently, I am classed as an expert expat – well, whaddya know!? An opinionated expat, maybe….

Anyway, these guys asked me, along with some other expats, for some expat advice on getting along in your host country, money and banking issues, how to make the most of your experience and other bits and bobs. Click here to find out what we said.

Expert expat ;)

Expert expat πŸ˜‰

We’re all doomed

The weather men told us with great glee yesterday that we’re pretty much in for snow-maggedon. ‘Polar Vortex, Snow Storm Will Bring Certain Doom To D.C. Area Tomorrow‘ were there exact words.

Nine inches, they said. And my jaw dropped open like it should if someone tells you to expect nine inches πŸ˜‰

Anyway, crass innuendo aside, the snow, it cometh and it cometh thick and it cometh fast and it is a right royal pain in the arse. ANOTHER snow day! I can’t take anymore! Surely we’ve had at least 17 now, which means adding on some days in the summer…pretty please?

Yes, we are.

Yes, we are.

Snow in DC

Snow in D.C.

The lovely mix up of language

Pants, suspenders – totally different meanings in the USA and the UK, and I love that they are different, because otherwise we wouldn’t have this joyous cartoon to chuckle at πŸ™‚

Oh, how we laugh!

Oh, how we laugh!

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 341

MLK day

Today is Martin Luther King Day in the USA, which makes it a Federal holiday in honour of his birthday on 15 January. There are a host of parades taking place in American cities.

I love these pictures from the MLK Day parade in Baltimore a few years ago.

An eclectic parade

An eclectic parade

I’ve read a lot today about Martin Luther King, and taken in all his quotes and sayings.

My favourite is this one:

β€œChange does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle,” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

O’Malley Birthday wishes

I got an email from Martin O’Malley’s campaign team this week asking if I wanted to ‘sign’ his virtual birthday card for this week. Of course I want to sign it! But I was stumped. How was I going to sign it and say something cheeky and still convince them to let that go in his virtual card (since I am sure they would vet such scribblings).

Firstly I wanted to add something in about his impressive guns. Then I realised that might be misconstrued and be read as some reference to weaponry and not his lovely arms.

Those guns are the ones to which I wished to refer

Those guns are the ones to which I wished to refer

So, instead, I wrote thus: ‘Martin. Happy birthday Mr. Governor. This is from the UK Desperate Housewife USA (I’m not really desperate, but I do blog about you, so please do read my blog whilst you are eating your cake and having a glass of fizz. Love and hugs, Claire xx

I hope it gets through his PR team and he reads it πŸ™‚

Stink Bug Invasion

My Brit chum arrived back on the shores of the Green and Pleasant Land but four months ago. Last night she messaged me to tell me that she had been in her kitchen when something had been buzzing round her….

Not a fly, not a wasp – only a frigging STINK BUG! How did it get there? It must have nested/been an egg or whatever biological phenomenon there is and travelled with her to the UK. So, customs, what do you make of that?

Stinky stink bugs

Stinky stink bugs

Will the UK now begin to understand the Maryland issues with these smelly critters? My friend did dispose (read as squish) the bug, but that is not to say that there are not more of them that followed her to the England and are now preparing to make their mark in proper Hollywood horror movie fashion…..

UK residents, you have been warned…..!

MORE SNOW

I have nothing else to say about this, except – FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 340

What do I know about the States?

I really don’t know much about the other states of the USA apart from Maryland. I do, however, have some stereotypes in my head about them, mainly brought about from books and movies and TV shows, and I like to hear what Marylanders say about the other states – areas of Pennsylvania get a bad wrap here from some, as do some of the more Southern states.

But a recent social media summing up of the states, which was generally insulting, tickled my bones. You can see them all here, but these are a few of my favourites. Yes, they are rude, and yes, they uphold many of the stereotypes, but it’s all a bit of fun, right?! After all, this is the UNITED States of America πŸ˜‰

;)

πŸ˜‰

Not sure I want to visit Vermont now....

Not sure I want to visit Vermont now….

Heading there in March!

Heading there in March!

Similar to Norfolk in the UK, then ;)

Similar to Norfolk in the UK, then πŸ˜‰

I wish someone would do one for the UK! I’d love to see the counties’ stereotypes summed up in this this way.

Man shot in movie theatre

I read many stories about America every day – good ones, fun ones, sad ones, weird ones, hard-to-read ones. This one from Florida just kind of struck me as being – well, sad and, when I’ve told folks (British and American) about it, their reply has been this: ‘Only in America’…….

A retired Tampa police captain is accused of gunning down a man who was texting during the Mark Wahlberg movie, Navy Seal. He will be arraigned on a second-degree murder charge in a Florida court.

Curtis Reeves Jr., 71, is charged with shooting Chad Oulson, 43. Oulson’s wife, Nichole, was treated for a gunshot wound to her hand.

The police chief said: β€œI can tell you, anybody, over a cellphone, to take their life, it’s ridiculous.”

This is the early reports of the shooting.

The police chief pretty much says what we’re all thinking….

β€œThis situation over a cellphone use β€” to escalate that high, I can tell you it’s very scary. Or the fact it’s a movie theater or, you know, a place such as a school, where people have a belief that they should be in a movie theater to relax or a school to learn and have it arise to this kind of level.”

Totally. Wowsers.

The Geico ads

I keep hearing these commercials on the radio for the insurance company Geico, and the voice over is by a British guy with a London accent. I wonder who that is, thought I. And so, naturally, I Googled it.

It’s some geezer called Jake Wood – and then I look closely! Even I recognise him from Eastenders! He plays/played (?) Max Branning, apparently.

Max off Eastenders innit!

Max off Eastenders innit!

The commercials are also on TV. This is a funny ‘outtakes’ Geico commercial with the smooth Cockney tones of Jake πŸ™‚

UK Housewife USA celebrity bartender

This year I’m a ‘celebrity bartender’ for Howard County Library System’s annual Evening in the Stacks fundraiser in February. It’s a Vintage Vegas themed black tie event for the great and good and wonderful of Howard County to attend – and I’ll be pouring drinkiepoos to raise money for educational initiatives in the county.

Celebrity bartender!

Celebrity bartender!

You can donate ‘tips’ here to help me win (note: tip for me – it is a competition you know!).

Thanks y’all!

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 339

USA musings today

I love living in America, but the weather sucks right now. It doesn’t matter what country you are in, if the weather is effing miserable and grey, it’s just plain crappy. Come on East Coast America, find me a glimpse of sunshine – I’m desperate!

Anyway, someone asked me if there are little things that get my goat about ‘America’ (in general). Not really. But there are some little things that I think of now and then, that I’m like: ‘Oh, I don’t get it.’

This is the list of some of those things….

1. Ravens vs Roast. On a Sunday in the UK, we’ll pretty have our entire Sunday afternoon taken up by a roast dinner and walking or drinking in the pub. Here, the Sunday afternoons are taken up by watching American football – especially near Baltimore for the Ravens’ fans. Nothing else matters, and nothing else will do. There must be no other social engagements because the football takes precedence (at least that’s how it appears πŸ˜‰ ). Sure, in the UK, footie is equally as important (it’s just that the British fan will have his roast on his knee in front of the telly whilst watching the Spurs match πŸ˜‰ ). American football here still bemuses me.

Yorkshire pud, innit

Yorkshire pud, innit

2. Walking. In the UK we go for walks for pleasure, to see a bit of the countryside or coast in yer wellies. I’m not so sure this is a past-time here. Exercise, yes – I see people walking for exercise, but not necessarily pleasure (although I am sure there are those that do). In the UK we walk and say ‘good morning/afternoon’ and wotnot and nod in a gentlemanly/ladylike way, admiring each other for taking a pleasurable walk. Here, people seem to be checking their heart rate monitors.

What a happy bunch of walkers!

What a happy bunch of walkers!

3. Healthcare. Sigh. It’s been nearly 18 months and the USA healthcare system still baffles me. When I phone up the docs they seem to want my entire life details: insurance number, mother’s maiden name, blood type, star sign, first pet’s name and if I take cream in my coffee. Well, not quite, but that’s what it feels like. And the constant referrals – Specialist Doc So and So for this that and the other. I just want to speak to one person and have them help me, please. I am so used to the UK system – this private medical stuff confuses my poor British head!

I read a couple of articles about Americans experiencing British healthcare recently, which I think are pretty ace:

a) By Lt. Col. Robert Bateman is an infantryman, historian and prolific writer, who is just finishing up his posting in the UK:

‘Health. They (the UK) have something here called the National Health System (NHS). I can only speak to my own observations. My wife was pregnant, and her first appointment with her midwife was AT OUR HOUSE, for TWO HOURS. Throughout her pregnancy, midwives answered my wife’s questions, soothed her concerns, gave her advice, and medically monitored her general situation. When she went into labor, and we went to bring our daughter into the world, they were there again for a low-risk, natural delivery in the hospital during which we received all-around excellent care. After the birth, my wife’s (by now, very trusted) primary midwife visited our home four times in the first ten days, just to make sure we were getting on alright, breastfeeding was going well, etc. Total cost to us: $0.’

Yes, I remember it well. It was BRILLIANT what the NHS did in the UK when I had Harry. Fact.

b) Shameless actress Emmy Rossum said on U.S. telly this week how she became ill in the UK and was given free healthcare. She said she got ‘amazing’ treatment from the NHS and claimed that ‘the hospitals are amazing there’. Top banana πŸ™‚

The NHS (not everyone loves it, but I rate it!)

The NHS (not everyone loves it, but I rate it!)

My British friend recently told me a very funny story about his experience of American healthcare where he was referred to three doctors who couldn’t diagnose him, then he got a referral via one doctor to her very own husband, whose office he attended for a diagnosis and was made to sit in a chair with wrist restraints attached to it…..Weeks later the diagnosis was revealed to him and his wife on his answering machine message at home. The message stated that he totally and conclusively had a ‘disease of the face’. He didn’t – he had a dry sinus infection. Now, however, we always ask him how his ‘disease of the face’ is πŸ˜‰

4. Social studies at school. My British friend as a ten-year old who has just arrived in the USA and is taking it all as a newbie in school. He’s a little more advanced in some areas, and, of course, it’s all very, very different – the way things are taught and what’s taught. Especially social studies. He told me that he has to sit through various stories of 1812 and the War of Independence, where the teachers single him out as ‘the Brit’ (baddy). He’s being very positive about learning something new and he’s trying to catch up on American history and the whole culture attached to it, but he’s more au fait (naturally) with Alfred the Great, Henry’s six wives and the poets of WW1. He did get told that he could choose if he wanted to make the Pledge of Allegiance in class. He chose not to.

Social studies of the USA

Social studies of the USA

Three things that made me smile yesterday in America-land

1. 1066. Yesterday when I bought something in a store it came to $10.66.
‘That’ll be $10.66, please,’ said the checkout girl.
‘A very important year!’ I said, then felt a bit embarrassed and passed her my card.
She looked bemused – and rightly so.
πŸ˜‰

William and Harold in the Bayeux Tapestry

William and Harold in the Bayeux Tapestry

2. 24 hour clock. My clocks and phone are on 24 hour time. Or, as my American friend noted: ‘You read the time military style.’ πŸ˜‰

3. Male role models. I have noticed recently, in all the child care places that I take Harry, what a great bunch of older kids there are looking after them – especially the young, black, male kids. What a fantastic bunch they are – inspiring, polite, talented, friendly. Such great role models. Respect to them πŸ™‚

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 338

Time for tea?

With the recent Downton Abbey frenzy, everyone in America-land is going ga-ga for some proper tea. (Well, not everyone, but you get the gist.)

I’m going to be honest – I don’t really drink what one might call ‘proper British tea’ out of a tea-pot and wotnot. I keep the teapot (wedding gift, of course) for special occasions. I generally dunk in my green tea bag and let it stew and that’s me done. None of this ‘builders’ tea’…. oooh, I’m pretty much guessing that’s not a phrase used in the USA much!

Hot and strong, just like my men (fnar, fnar)

Hot and strong, just like my men (fnar, fnar)

‘Builders tea’ is generally strong tea with a dash of milk. It is described as ‘an English colloquial term for the sort of strong, inexpensive tea drunk by construction workers taking a break. The term is used to differentiate from other servings of tea, as it is usually both brewed strongly and served in a mug (as opposed to being brewed in a teapot) milky with two (or more in some cases) teaspoons of sugar. The term has widespread throughout both Ireland and the United Kingdom.’

I used to date a builder and I have made many cups of this tea – flasks, in fact. Many endless flasks of builders tea…

Anyway, the folk at the Columbia Patch have created a page so that you can ‘bring some Downton living to your home’. Gawd, I had better read this (even though I’m not even watching Downton…).

They say: ‘The biggest learning from all that Downton watching? Do tea right. Americans threw the most famous tea party of all time and yet we haven’t mastered the art of all things tea. We pay so much attention to coffee and buzzing through the week that we neglect the fine details that make drinking tea both a ritual and an excuse to slow down and relax.’

No just chucking in your tea bag, then. I’ve failed as a Brit 😦

They offer tips on how ‘what you need to know to make the perfect cup of tea and throw a classic tea party [so that] The Dowager Countess of Grantham would approve.’

She knows how to make a proper cuppa char (that's slang for tea!)

She knows how to make a proper cuppa char (that’s slang for tea!)

I don’t do any of this. I would like to confirm that if you are invited to my house in America-land, this will not happen. You will get offered green tea, green tea and mango, green tea and ginseng or Earl Grey (and I only have almond milk, so sorry about that!)

Nudity in Maryland!

I’ve been very busy recently writing an article about the differing attitudes between Brits/European and Americans towards nudity. Yes, this is how I choose to spend my spare time.

Anyway, it’s been fascinating, as you can imagine!

And lo, I discovered that there is a nudist camp right here in Maryland – well I never did! in Maryland, I say!

I love that it is called the Maryland Health Society πŸ™‚ That tickled me. Not Maryland Nudist Society, but Health Society. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

They have been ‘Living Naturally Since 1934’ and the site is nestled on 98 acres of pristine woodlands which back up to the Patuxent River. Lovely! It actually looks idyllic.

I bet you're going to click on this one to make it bigger....

I bet you’re going to click on this one to make it bigger….

I was just a bit shocked because, and I don’t want to spoil my article for you, which will be published towards the end of this month, generally Americans aren’t as open about nudity as us Brits. I’ve registered and observed a few things that have made me acknowledge this….oh, you’ll just have to wait and read the article.

Anyhow, my favourite bit of the website is the constant reference to its ‘members’…..

‘We like it when daily members attend our events.’

‘Daily members can attend our events except for those that are marked “members only”.’

‘Every year each daily member must fill out a waiver form.’

‘A daily member is limited to three visits per season.’

(Snigger).

Naturally.

Naturally.

Apparently, there’s been a ‘nude feud‘ going on there recently with a woman holed up in a cabin, refusing to come out – since the summer.

She was told this week she had to move out of the cabin, and she wanted to do it in the nude, but, she said: “it was a little bit cold.”

Crazy nudist shenanigans!

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 337

Things I have pondered in America-land today

I awoke at 4am today. Gawd knows why – might have been the lashing rain reminding me of England…

Anyway, I wondered about the following things in America. They are neither controversial nor highbrow, neither clever nor astute. They are just things that this British wife living an American life thinks about at 4am.

1. Drivers’ licences. In the UK we call this a driving licence. And also, in America shops and wotnot they always ask for your ‘driver’s licence’ as ID. But what if I don’t drive, what then? And how come you assume that I do drive? Oh, I know why you assume I drive – it’s because there would be no other bleedin’ way of getting here unless I had set off last Tuesday on foot from my house. Because to live here, ya just gotta drive.

2. Arkansas . I still read the end bit of this state and say in my head ‘kansas’, not ‘kansaw’ like it’s supposed to be said, which is annoying. But there again, I don’t say ‘IllinioS’, so go figure.

Deep South...

Deep South…

3. Haven on the Lake. There is a new wellness centre in Columbia called ‘Haven on the Lake’, which I think sounds like some Rosamund Pilcher romance/mystery novel.

This is where the romance / murder will take place, fyi...

This is where the Haven will be

4. Drive-thru banking. Do people ever catch their wing mirrors at the drive-thru banking? What if they have very short arms and can’t quite reach the machine? Or do they just get out the car? Or perhaps they just think ‘sod it, I’m not having this malarkey’ and just go into the bank and get it all sorted that way.

5. Silverware. Why do waiting staff still call the knife and fork silverware even if it’s plastic? Yes, I like to eat in places with plastic silverware. Diners, mostly.

Plastic silverware diner

Plastic silverware diner

6.Reading books aloud. When did I start putting on an American accent for different characters when I read American children’s books to Harry? I have started doing different accents and personalities for them – The Pigeon in the Mo Willems books sounds rather like Al Pacino in Scarface and Piggie in Elephant and Piggie has a touch of the Leslie Knopes about her from Parks and Recreation.

Piggie - Leslie Knope

Piggie – Leslie Knope

That was about it, I think.
Intriguing.

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 336

Brits subtitled

My British friend here in the USA mentioned that she sat down to watch the telly last night and (don’t judge her for this) there was a programme on called Party On on the E! Channel. Yes, it’s a reality show that is dedicated to ‘exposing the best party scenes the world has to offer via its “exclusive resorts and gorgeous beaches.” Brits and Americans hang out and party, basically. I guess someone has to do that.

But, my British friend said, that the Brits were being subtitled in last night’s episode! What?! This is a clip from the show (sans subtitles). The guy’s not that hard to understand is he – really?!!!

Party On!

Party On!

To be fair, though, before we moved the States we watched The Wire and we had to subtitle that because this little British girl couldn’t get her head round the street talk. Well, now, let me tell you, I am totally in the know-how about ‘re-ups’ and ‘Five-O’ etc πŸ˜‰

But Party On is not the only show on U.S TV to subtitle those hard-to-understand-British accents….The Saturdays (fyi, a British girl group, if you’ve not heard of them) have a U.S reality show coming out and that will be subtitled for the American audience because of their very British accents.

Apparently the producers were convinced that the audiences would have trouble understanding the girls. To be honest, I don’t really know why they bother subtitling, because my guess is that none of them will say anything that is going to be earth-shattering, but who am I to judge? πŸ˜‰

British girl group 'The Saturdays'....

British girl group ‘The Saturdays’….

It’s not all the conversations that need subtitles, mind you, but the producers have been forced to transcribe most of their scintillating conversation so viewers can understand their musings.

Subtitles come into play particularly when Frankie (Essex girl) and Una (Irish filly) are speaking.

The Daily Record notes that in one exciting conversation, chat turns to the bedding in their LA mansion, and (thankfully for all mankind) their words are flashed up on the screen to clarify this momentous chat.

Later, Frankie breaks down in tears and the titles reveal her words: β€œI just feel like I can’t even do my job any more.” Fascinating.

An American TV source said: β€œWhile the show is fun, it will not be likely that all of America will understand what The Saturdays are actually saying.

β€œThey may have good diction and clarity of speech in the UK, but their UK accents simply aren’t understood by some Americans.

β€œIt’s going to be tough to change that because they speak slowly and properly.

β€œThe show is good fun and very dramatic but, in truth, if people cannot understand them, it might bomb.”

We wait with bated breath!

Don’t let us forget the hard times some of our British celebs have on the telly in the USA – it’s not the first time our Brit stars have found it hard to appeal to the ears of our American cousins.

Cheryl Cole’s Geordie twang was said to have confused viewers in X Factor. You decide (and stay watching for the British class/accent comment!)

Even the brillopads Scouse accent fell prey to American producers who subtitled footie stars Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher in ‘Being Liverpool’. I did not know this was a show. Neither does my husband, thankfully.

Freezing rain = school delay

This is my first experience of freezing rain. I thought it was a kind of ‘we’re just delaying the schools because there’s some really cold rain’, but it’s true – it is freezing rain, and it is really slippy. Yikes.

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 335

The state I live in

This refers to the actual geographical state I live in, not the kind of psychological state I live in.

So, this state is Maryland and there’s been a lot of recent banter (read as ‘social media chit-chat’) about what makes this state great (read as ‘awesome’).

Anyway, this is the list of stuff that Marylanders say they love /are proud about Maryland…

1. Crabs. That is the kind that you can eat, not the STD kind. They love their crabs here and rightly so. I love ’em too.

Delicious

Delicious

2. Old Bay Spice. This goes on pretty much anything you want, including crabs, and definitely on chicken wings. Spicy.

3. The Ravens and the Orioles. Now I know who/what these are (football and baseball), and I have been chased round a PTA barbeque by Poe, the Ravens’ mascot.

4. Jousting. Jousting is the sport of Maryland. Really?! Is it?! Come on now, since when does any jousting actually happen apart from at the Renaissance Festival, which this year was mostly about over-zealous Medieval boobage and bad mock-English accents.

What fun to poke each other's eyes out!

What fun to poke each other’s eyes out!

4. Lacrosse. Sigh. I see bumper stickers about parents whose child is the Lacrosse Captain/Top Scorer/Winner/Shower Jockey etc on the back of cars. Don’t get the lacrosse thing. Hockey – yes. Lacrosse – what?

5. History. Like that Annapolis and Baltimore were both, at one time or another, the capital of the USA. That’s a lovely bit of historical know-how and I love both these cities, so hooorah!

6. Cal Ripken Jr. So, I’ve seen this name and I’ve seen kids and adults alike wearing football(?) jerseys with his name on, and I’m kind of guessing he was like the Kevin Keegan of his time. Like some great player and a top bloke at that…. WRONG! I Googled him. He was a baseball player (oops, sorry Marylanders) and was nicknamed the Iron Man. He is best remembered for breaking Lou Gehrig’s record for consecutive games played, a record that had stood for 56 years and many deemed unbreakable. Ripken surpassed the mark on September 6, 1995, by playing his 2,131st consecutive game. And he was born in Maryland, of course.

What a happy chappy :)

What a happy chappy πŸ™‚

7. Weather/seasons. Maryland has every season, and sometimes within one week. This is so true. One minute I’m in my Daisy Dukes in March and then there’s a bloody gurt snow storm and it’s back on with the thermal socks. It’s cray-cray, as they say here.

8. North/south. Folk here feel they are both northern and southern. That’s because of that Mason Dixon Line divide. See, I have been reading my history.

Yeah, I hear ya

Yeah, I hear ya

9. You’re near to Washington DC. True, one feels like Michelle and Barak are practically neighbours.

10. Marylanders like the Maryland flag. To be fair, I dig California’s with the bear and South Carolina’s with the cool crescent moon thing and the palm tree, but the Maryland one I understand and recognise, and I am eternally grateful that I never had to draw it in school.

It's very official

It’s very official

This is kinda cool

This is kinda cool

Oooh, yeah

Oooh, yeah

11. The Bay Bridge. Which, for me, is like the scariest bridge in the world. EVER. STILL.

It makes my feet go all wobbly

It makes my feet go all wobbly

12. Hairpsray (the musical). It’s all about Baltimore and Baltimore is all about Hairspray.

Washington / Washington DC

I have a confession to make. Hanging on my wall is my 2014 calendar. It is of Washington – glorious, fabulous pictures of Washington. Goodness, thought I, these are places we must go to.

But why no pictures of the White House, no Georgetown, no Capitol Building, no Washington Memorial, no Abraham Lincoln memorial steps, no Forrest Gump and Jenny in the Reflecting Pool moment….?

‘Is that not a calendar with pictures of Washington STATE, not Washington DC?’ remarked my husband…..

See, it's lovely!

See, it’s lovely!

Um, yes. What a plonker! πŸ˜‰

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 334

Reaching out…

Recently I’ve heard the term ‘reaching out’ a lot in America-land.

‘Thanks for reaching out, we appreciate it.’
‘I’m reaching out to see if anyone knows anyone who sharpens knives and tools.’ (Yes that is a real one πŸ˜‰ )

Recent commentary on this phrase has stated that it is a phrase akin to corporate jargon or buzzwords that really should be banished (unlike ‘amazeballs’, obviously πŸ˜‰ )

Reaching out, innit :)

Reaching out, innit πŸ™‚

At first, I just couldn’t get my British ears round this phrase (though I am sure it’s being used in the UK too), but like most things in the USA I’m getting used to it.

It’s not just my British head exploding with the obsequious term – some Americans are saying that they’ve had enough of it altogether.

“It makes my skin crawl when someone uses the euphemism [sic], ‘reach out,’ as in, ‘we wanted to reach out to you making you aware of our new product’ or ‘we’ve reached out to John Doe to join us for our meeting on the 30th.’ Ugh!”

“Every time a prospective vendor tells me they are calling to ‘reach out’ to me I have to bite my tongue to keep from telling them to keep their hands to themself [sic].”

“The image of someone reaching out to us is more than a little creepy…..”

Sure, it’s very polite and all that, but…well, sometimes it does make me want to barf just a little bit. Apparently the standard (and rude) reply when someone thanks you for reaching out to them (as I was this very day): “Did not reach out; contacted you, wrote, dropped by. Arms still at sides metaphorically and literally.” Cheeky!

Anyway, if anyone wants to reach out to me with feedback about this phrase, feel free πŸ™‚

To confirm, it is VERY COLD

Today was possibly the coldest day I have ever experienced in my life.
It was, as they said it would be, FRIGID.

I can’t take the weather people seriously when they use that word and plaster it all over the USA maps.

But frigid it is πŸ˜‰

Bleedin' freezin'!

Bleedin’ freezin’!

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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 333

The accent thing

Question: who has the ‘accent’? The Brits or the Americans? I don’t know and I don’t mind – I love accents, regardless. They are a cultural pleasure and they are part of our identity.

Though, according to some, not all British accents are ‘sexy’ πŸ˜‰

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f4e610680c/british-accents

BUT – I’ve heard some Brits say this statement (below) before, and to be honest, it makes me cringe, get embarrassed and, I feel, verges a little on the side of snobbery and superiority:

American person: ‘I love your accent!’
British person: ‘You’re the one with the accent, not me.’

The accent thing

The accent thing

Anyway, I still think accents are wonderful things and I’m proud of my accent, and I love to hear others from all over the place. Slowly, but surely, I am beginning to distinguish between accents from all over the States. Whatever the politics or the history of the accent, it is ever-evolving and that is a wondrous thing, ain’t it?!

Excellent British words

I was asked by a Brit if there is a USA equivalent for the following British words: ‘numpty’, ‘plonker’ and ‘pillock’. (FYI, these words are used to describe someone who has done something a bit daft, and aren’t overly rude or aggressive!) They’re what one might call ‘nice insults’ (or is that an oxymoron?!). I just don’t know if there is an American version of these words…. I heard one yesterday that might pass – ‘ding-dong’ πŸ˜‰

Interestingly, Sir David Jason says an American remake of British TV show ‘Only Fools And Horses’ won’t work as there’s no word over there for ‘plonker’.

This is a perfect example of an ‘Only Fools and Horses’ genius plonker clip πŸ˜‰

Downton frenzy

Oh flippin’ Nora! There is so much love in the USA for Downton Abbey, season 4, I can barely get on to my social media without some mention of it! People in Maryland were even dressing up for the first episode of the new season last night!

She's a fan, obvs.

She’s a fan, obvs.

A super fan, perhaps?!

A super fan, perhaps?!

The upstairs lot

The upstairs lot

Jolly good show!

Jolly good show!

There is a whole lot of love for Downton Abbey, but I agree with my good friend Melissa, who runs Smitten by Britain that it’s pretty much got to be the last season, right? I didn’t watch the season 4 premiere last night because I haven’t even watched season 3 yet – I’ve been far too busy doing things in the USA, don’t ya know! πŸ˜‰

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