Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 183

Posted on July 19, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Wrong side of the road

Today, for the first time in a while, I drove on the wrong (that is left handside of the road…). Weird. Not sure why I did that. Preparing for those roads in the UK, perhaps?

Drive on the left, drive on the left....

Drive on the left, drive on the left….

I won’t sue, I’m British

Last week I visited the dentist. They couldn’t complete my check up because I had to dash to work. Come back, they said, we need to finish the exam.

So in I went today.

I had an exam and it took exactly two minutes.

‘Why did I need that done?’ I asked, a little perturbed at the inconvenience.

‘Because it is required as part of your insurance that you receive the full service,’ they replied earnestly.

‘But, I won’t sue you,’ I assured them. ‘I’m British.’

(I would probably actually apologise to them for not being able to make the appointment, such is the British way!)

That's right, British at heart I am!

That’s right, British at heart I am!

Tastykake and other incredible stuff

My friend Nicole is a gem for giving me little nuggets of Americana to feast on. This time she mentioned to me Tastykake (I imagined it as ‘Tasty Cake’ tho).

The excellent expat blog site The Displaced Nation aptly states that for an expat, ‘foodie-ism is endemic to our way of life’. They add that ‘Food is, and will always remain, The Displaced Nation’s number one obsession.’ True, I confirm this absolutely.

So what is this TastyKake that we do not have in the fair isles of England?

I believe Nicole had this:

The Best of Both Worlds! The taste of a candy bar, the freshness of Tastykake! Light and fluffy chocolate enrobed cakes with a delicious créme filling in a unique kandy bar shape. These delicious kakes are made with real Hershey's flavors and will grab you by the taste buds. Available in S'mores, Peppermint and Peanut Butter.

The Best of Both Worlds! The taste of a candy bar, the freshness of Tastykake! Light and fluffy chocolate enrobed cakes with a delicious créme filling in a unique kandy bar shape. These delicious kakes are made with real Hershey’s flavors and will grab you by the taste buds. Available in S’mores, Peppermint and Peanut Butter.

She also told me about Ring Dings and Ding Dings, which just made me snigger like a naughty British schoolgirl – again.

Whatever next - Ding Dongs?! ;)

Whatever next – Ding Dongs?! 😉

Dumb laws

Okay, so we know there are some weird laws in the USA. Like freaky weird.

My top three states for crazy laws that tickled, confused and bemused me….

Sweet Home Alabama

– Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
– Incestuous marriages are legal.
– It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
– It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
– Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
– It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
– Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
– Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (Hahahaha!)
– It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
– You must have windshield wipers on your car.
– You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
– Masks may not be worn in public.
– It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.
– Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

Let’s hear it for Tennessee’s law-abiding citizens!

– Students may not hold hands while at school.
– It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee.
– In Tennessee it is illegal to post images online that cause “emotional distress” “without legitimate purpose”.
– No Christian parent may require their children to pick up trash from the highway on Easter day.
– You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
– Hollow logs may not be sold.
– More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
– It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
– Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state.
– Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
– Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.
– It is illegal to place tacks on a highway.
– Skunks may not be carried into the state.
– The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
– Interracial marriages are illegal. (REALLY??????? In 2013? Someone tell me this isn’t true…)
– Tattooing a minor is a misdemeanor.
– It is illegal to dare a child to purchase a beer.

Texas, there’s nothing about no yellow rose in here…

– One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
– It is illegal to sell one’s eye.
– A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.
– When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
– It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
– Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
– It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
– It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
– A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
– Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense. (GRRRRR!)
– The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. (OFFS!!)

And there are many more laws to be upheld in the USA in the other states…..take a look at them and gasp away!

New York and the Cockney gal

Sally used to tell me stories about living in the USA when we worked together 10 years ago (yes, really Sally!). She said I would love it, and she was spot on!

These are Sally’s memories of living in New York in the 1980s….

Sally’s Story

Hi I’m Sally Dopson and I’ve been married to my husband Del for 44 years have two daughters and four grandchildren, three girls and a boy, age ranges 23 down to 13. I live in Cheltenham, as do my family, and hubby and I are both retired and enjoying life doing what we had to cram into two days a week and a bit of travelling. We visit Florida to see my ex-New York neighbour and friend Diane, we’re off to see her at the end of Sept. Singapore and Malaysia are also favourites of ours.

Sally and her friend Diane hanging out

Sally and her friend Diane hanging out in NYC

We lived in New York from 1982 to 1984. Del worked in Manhatten, Wall St area and we lived on Long Island, Dix Hills, 10 mins from Robert Moses beach. He always said we lived on Long Island but he just slept there!! My girls certainly grew up there, made them worldly which has stayed with them, gave them so much confidence.

What fascinates you most about the USA?
I am fascinated by the diversity found in the USA, the choices are so amazing and sometimes overwhelming whether it be food, clothing, Home Depot etc. etc.

The Big Apple

The Big Apple

Having lived in the USA, what are your favorite areas/memories/traditions?
When we lived in NY we were in a predominately Jewish neighbourhood and I was fascinated by the Jewish traditions and learnt such a lot about a different religion. My favourite memories are of the times I spent with by American friends and how they took us to their hearts and included us in their lives. I will always love NY city – the city that never sleeps, how true!

What differences do you think really exist between our cultures?
I think the differences are that as Brits we are much more reserved than the Americans and not so materialistic. Having said that, Americans are very hard working and reach their goals and ambitions come what may.

What do you remember most about living with Americans?
I think Americans are very confident people, sometimes very loud and “in your face” but get past that and they have hearts of gold.

The girls are still friends after all these years :)

The girls are still friends after all these years 🙂

PS.I think we have something money can’t buy and that is our English accent, whether it be Oxford English, Scottish accent or my Cockney accent, they seem to love them all. My girls were always invited to play with other kids in the hope that their Cheltenham young lady accents would rub off.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 182

Posted on July 19, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

The Ten Pound Tour

There is a great expat site called the Displaced Nation and they asked me to write a guest post, so I chose one of my favourite topics in the USA – food! Read about the perils of dining in and out in America, and why they call this the Ten Pound Tour……

Oh yeah, burger time!

Oh yeah, burger time!

Canada, oh Canada, how we love your gentle ways

Something I’ve often wondered about is Canada’s relationship with the USA. I see it as the quiet, gentle, calm cousin who doesn’t say much, but gets on with life and is pretty content with where it’s at and what’s it’s doing. Secure in it’s own skin, you might say.

I have relatives in Canada and have visited it at various periods in my life (perhaps not often enough), and I’ve always found it charming.

Louise is a friend of mine in the UK, who was born in Canada, spent time in the USA and now lives in England. This is her perspective of those countries and relationships.

Louise’s Canadian/American/British Tale

I was born in Canada in 1967. My younger brother and myself were adopted three years later by British parents, who had already adopted an English girl and had brought her to Canada where my father was working. Soon after our family moved to Flanders, New Jersey. We lived there until May 1977, when my mother’s cancer became terminal and she wanted to move to the UK to be with her family. She died less than 2 years later.

Since then there has been much family drama, which resulted in our family being, for the most part, torn apart. I finished my education in evening classes whilst working to pay my rent, having been kicked out of my home at 15. I met my husband while working in London, and we married in Italy some 7 years later. I now live in Hertfordshire with my husband and our three children and two dogs.

What do you enjoy most about living in the UK?
I love the cultural diversity of the UK. I can walk into my little town and eat a huge variety of different international foods, from Turkish, Thai and Malaysia to Indian and Bangladeshi, West Indian and Mexican. My small town also has two temples – Sikh and Hindu, and about six different varieties of Christian churches.

A lovely British church

A lovely British church

History: There can be few places in the world who have such great respect for and drive to preserve history, historical sites and monuments, and historical culture. The UK has an extraordinary history – as a nation it once conquered two-thirds of the globe, and she’s only a tiny island! Yet there are prehistoric sites, ancient temples and standing stones from before the Christian influences. Literally hundreds of castles, structures, buildings and artifacts are to be found from one end of the country to the other.

I LOVE the BBC. In general I like British television, and having travelled reasonably extensively, I think it offers the highest quality and selection of programmes I’ve come across.

Good old Auntie!

Good old Auntie!

The theatre arts in the UK are enviable internationally. The quality of anything from small, local theatre companies to West End productions, the actors, set design, music and direction are given great support, and produced with energy and enthusiasm that would rival any Hollywood movie production. This filters into British cinema too, where stories are told with real feelings and thought-provoking themes, and acted out by professionals who are as happy on the stage as they are behind a camera.

It’s difficult to beat the British sense of humour. Irony is at it’s helm, but the variety and intelligence of most comics here in the UK is second to none.

Music variety: The wide range of music played here in the UK is even greater than the variety of nationalities and cuisines. In the UK you will get people following one genre of music, sure. But the majority of people will listen to rap, blues, soul, funk, reggae, rock and indie, all in one morning.

The old people in the UK are brilliant!!! Many either fought in or were part of the War Effort in WW2. The resilience, the lack of waste, the ability to know how to have a good time, the cheeky jokes and the way ladies still wear gloves and hats to weddings – all these things are very endearing.

I could go on and on, but one final thing – British resilience. Throw famine, acts of God, war, drought, you can throw any of them at the British, and will they riot? Will they collapse in a heap, sobbing at their poor lot in life? F*ck no!! The British just roll up their sleeves and get on with it – whatever you throw at them. Will they moan? Yes, of course. But they’ll also laugh at themselves moaning. They’ll get on with life and just work it out somehow. Some will get together and work a solution, while others will quietly get on and find a way around it on their own. Above all, they will NOT be defeated. Like the Monty Python Black Knight sketch, where the soldiers chop each of the knights limbs off, one by one, and the knight turns around and says “Come back here and get what’s coming to you! I’ll bite you’re legs off!!”

Bloody brilliant!

Bloody brilliant!

What do you miss about Canada and the USA?
The weather!!! The seasons!!! I miss sun in summer, snow in winter. I miss walking from a steaming hot car park into the cool of a supermarket air con. I miss diving into a pool in a friends back yard on a hot afternoon after school. I miss ice skating on the local frozen pond. I miss tobogganing and sledging, snow shoeing and ice fishing. I miss laying in bed and watching snow flakes – huge ones – falling from the sky through the light of the street lamps.

I miss ordering a salad and getting just that, a salad. Not a little bit of garnish – the obligatory lettuce, tomato, cucumber on the side of the plate. I miss American diners, with their sit up bars, giant slices of blueberry or cherry pie “a la mode” and malted shakes. I miss pizza with stringy cheese.

Proper job

Proper job

I miss good customer service. Going into a restaurant and someone immediately smiling at you and either coming to meet you or telling you they’ll be just a minute. The polite way people serve you everywhere from shopping malls to gas stations.

The variety of landscape in the USA and Canada is incredible. There are beaches, mountains, desserts, rivers, lakes, hills, canyons, valleys…. It’s all there, and much of it breathtakingly beautiful, and BIG!!! The wildlife living in these landscapes is extraordinary and varied too.

Proms, Sweet Sixteens, Trick or Treat….. I love how enthusiastic the North American culture is for these celebrations. In the UK the “Prom” scene is trying to take off. After many years of trying, trick or treat is still struggling, and Sweet Sixteen is unheard of. These are seminal rites of passage in Canadian and American culture, and rightly so – we’re never so free and easy as we are when we are 16 or at our Proms. These celebrations create memories that last for lifetimes.

Prom night!

Prom night!

What differences do you encounter about the British and North American cultures?
My children still find things that I say differently, and in turn they say things differently to their friends. The usual “sidewalk” and “garage” (rather than the British “garridge”) of course come into play. But I cook thick pancakes for breakfast, not crepes like most British families. I make meatloaf, hot dogs, muffins and cookies, while most of my children’s parents make sausage and mash, fairy cakes and biscuits. My kids say “please” and “thank you”, rather than “Ta”. I make turkey and pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, which is not celebrated here at all.

The best thing about being a Canadian in the UK?
I like the fact that I can give my kids the benefit of both a very modern culture, and also allow them to exploit the history and retained old cultures that surround them. They love visiting Canada, and already can appreciate the vast spaces, which appear to be unpopulated – pretty rare in England, perhaps only found in rural Scotland, Wales and Ireland. They see, very clearly, the differences between the cultures and enjoy both. My husband also lived in California for nearly a year, so he is also able to give a good perspective on the US culture too.

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and the UK do you think actually exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
Got to be a bit careful here now. If I am speaking GENERALLY, I’d say there is a perception that the English are all super intelligent, usually due to the accent and possibly wider use of proper grammar and vocabulary. Of course this is bull – there are as many stupid people here as there are in the USA – possibly more – but they just sound uber clever.

There is a presumption by Americans that you will know their distant and probably dead relatives who lived 300 miles away from you. Ha ha!! I think these are two stereotypes crossing over. Because the US is vast, and the UK, in comparison, incredibly small, there is an assumption that you will know everyone who lives in the UK. There is also an assumption that as America is a very young nation, a little over 200 years of independence, that all Americans are trying to trace themselves back to historical and predominantly European roots. There is possibly some truth in both, but neither is assumed.

All Americans tell you everything about themselves, all the time, if you want to know or not. Well, it IS true that the English are generally more reserved than the Americans, and do not wear their hearts on their sleeves so often, but actually this is a fault of the British rather than the Americans, and one that the Brits could learn a lesson or two from. Rather than mocking the Americans for their openness about themselves, we should be embracing it a bit more. More problems are caused by people NOT communicating than people who do communicate.

American-Patriot

All Americans are in therapy. Well, mental health generally is more readily accepted and treated with less distain and distrust than in the UK, but then this is my field of expertise – Psychology. The benefits of many of the ‘talking’ therapies are seen as positive and taken more seriously in the US, and a little of that should flow through to the UK. Especially as so many of us are effected my mental health problems, either ourselves or in our families.

Lastly, what kind of relationship does Canada have with the USA, and what differences are there?
Well, speaking very generally again – Canadians generally don’t like the Americans much, and the feeling is mutual!! However, without any bias – and I mean that – generally speaking Canadians tend to be more “European” in their outlook. More open-minded, the sense of humour more ironic and self depricating. More like the humour in the UK actually!!

The Canadians see the Americans as dirty, and by that I mean pollution and the environment. Canada works hard to keep it’s lakes, especially the Great Lakes, clean and pollution free. No dumping into the lakes and rivers is allowed. However, Americans freely dump and pollute from their side, and this of course pisses the Canadians off. Like Ireland, Scotland, Poland and lots of nations that have lived in the shadow of a larger (Canada’s land mass is actually larger than the USA, but most of the northern provinces are not habitable) more powerful neighbour, Canada tries to hold its own, and is often bullied by its powerful neighbour.

Gorgeous Canada

Gorgeous Canada

One thing about Canada, that I confess to being very proud of, is the way it’s treated its indigenous population, the native Indians. The name “Canada” is from an Indian name, kanata, which means village. Unlike the USA, where the reservation system and integration has been largely unsuccessful, native Canadian Indians are treated with the respect they deserve, as the original occupiers of the land. Perhaps it may be because of the loving respect for the land shown by the Indians, Canadians are more respectful of the beautiful lands, rivers, mountains and wildlife found there. The reservation system works well; food, fuel, cigarettes and alcohol bought on the reservations is not subject to Tax. In fact, native Indians do not pay any Government taxes, and reap many other benefits from being Indian. The integration between Indians and those who have historically settled in Canada is generally very good, and a mutual respect is pretty much the norm. The USA could learn a lot from how Canada has respected and treated its native population.

Wow, that's a landscape!

Wow, that’s a landscape!

Americans seem to think of Canadians as pretty stupid. I’d go so far as to say they don’t like them much, and see them as an irritating neighbour! However, there are many, many famous celebrities who are thought of as American, but who are actually Canadian – and proud of it!!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 181

Posted on July 18, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Sunbathing in the USA

Picture this…

It’s 12.30pm. It’s 95 degrees at the pool.
Everyone is in the shade or in the pool.

Except one crazy person. Yep, that’s right. Slathered in factor 100 (with coconut oil), lusting after the sun’s hot and steamy rays there lies one British expat, with salty sweat dripping in her eyes… yep, it’s me!

It's lush and hot!

It’s lush and hot!

And why not, hey?!

Who loves the USA?

I put a shout out to my American friends to get a sense of how they feel about their country. This is Melissa’s honest and passionate response.

Melissa is also an Anglophile, and she’ll be sharing her love of the funny old Brits here soon too. Melissa writes the blog Smitten by Britain, and shares a passion of all things UK.

But she still keeps in check that the US is definitely her country, and that there is a real sense of pride in being an American citizen.

usaheart

Here’s Melissa’s top five…

Why I love the USA and others should love it too!

1. The Sense of Optimism – We really are taught from a small age that we can do whatever we want and be whomever we want. Anything is possible! Maybe it’s because I grew up in this environment but I admire people who to dare to dream and then not let anyone’s opinion hold them back from achieving that dream. We tend to be a very hopeful nation, even in our darkest days, we know the sun will rise again.

2. Variety is the Spice of Life – Take your pick, the United States just about has it all geographically – beaches, mountains, deserts, plains, rolling green countryside and even frozen tundra.

3. Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe Free – America is known as a melting pot and even though some of us believe illegal immigration has gotten out of hand, it’s still a pretty cool feeling to know that we are seen by many as the promise land.I personally dig multiculturalism and feel the influence of different ethnic groups throughout our history is one of the things that has made this country great.

4. Ingenuity – I think as far as science and technology goes, we’re pretty forward thinking. I mean, we invented the Internet right? 😉

5. Hospitality – Overall, we’re pretty darn nice and welcoming compared to many places in the world. If you’re British, Irish or Australian, you’ll win us over at “ello!” or “G-day!” Heck, you may even wind up on the cover of Howard County Magazine. 😉 And even though our customer service skills have taken a nose dive in the last couple of decades, I would still be more wiling to complain about a lousy dinner in a US restaurant than a British one.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 180

Posted on July 18, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Flippin’ Nora!

I love that British phrase. I used it today, as in ‘Flippin’ Nora, it’s hot and I love it!’ (We’re hitting on 98 degrees this week and I’m having a hard time sweating it out by the pool 😉 )

A Brit and I were discussing how we come out with all these little colloquialisms / slang that leave our American friends totally flummoxed. Like what, exactly?

Well, like this:

A sample of British sayings….

Sod Off! – this is impolite and similar to ‘Get Knotted’ which = Piss Off or F*** Off! Brits have loads of sayings to tell people to go away, I feel!

Chuffed to Bits – one of my faves! It means very pleased with or very happy about something and is very similar to another British saying, “Pleased as Punch” (which I don’t use, but many do).

Really bloody happy!

Really bloody happy!

Nookie – or Having A Bit Of The Other – this is a covert phrase to let someone know you were ‘having it off’ with someone…..

Dog’s Bollocks – an elegant phrase that means something is ‘just super’ One of our favorite funny British sayings 😉

Just brilliant!

Just brilliant!

Dodgy – not to be trusted (usually applied to a secondhand car salesman). We an also get ‘dodgy’ kebabs (or kabobs) after a good booze up.

Oh, there are many, many more…see here for a ‘shed load’ more!

Are you a Mom or a Mum in the USA?

Parenting is different in the UK from the USA, that’s how I feel. I can’t quite put my finger on it. One UK mum crossed the Atlantic to embrace USA motherhood in true style.

This is Kate’s story

My name is Kate, my family and I have been residing here in the USA for the last 14 months. It all started in November 2011, when my husband was asked whether he would like to take up a job in the US office of his company here in Connecticut, after lots of tears from me (and my mum) we finally decided to make the move. I quit my job as a hydrographic surveyor and became a stay at home mummy to my toddler son and six months later we finally moved over after a very long and drawn out visa application process to Fairfield County, Connecticut in May 2012. Since the big move, our family has grown as our second son aka Baby American was born here in September 2012.

It was quite hard to settle here initially especially after giving birth with the constant feeding and nap times and having no car meant I was reliant on public transport and walking (there are a serious lack of pavements (or sidewalks) here and a lot of them are in poor condition so negotiating a pram on them could be interesting. However, in the last four months, I have taken the plunge and started to drive and not being tied down so much by feeding, I have finally started to meet lots more people. I have joined a local Moms’ Club and more recently I have become a co-organizer of the British Parents of Fairfield County meetup group – it is nice to meet other expats and children who are experiencing a similar situation to yourself and to enjoy a decent cuppa!

Kate on the coast

Kate on the coast

What do you enjoy most about living in the USA?

The thing I have most loved about living here is having the opportunity to explore and travel here. Although we have only been here for just over a year, we have explored most of Connecticut, been to New York several times, visited Washington DC, toured Rhode Island, seen Niagara Falls and Howes Caverns and spent a few days in Boston. I think we have tried to see as much as possible as we know that we are only staying in the States for two to three years so trying to make the most of our time here. I am already planning our next few trips away!

I also love being able to see my husband more, in the UK he spent 4-5 hours a day commuting to London, his total commute a day is now 30 minutes! A big difference and saving lots of pennies not having to spend money on a season rail ticket!

I love the seasons here – Spring had to be my favourite season so far – the blossoms were beautiful and loved seeing the return of the leaves to the trees. Living in New England, we also got to witness the beautiful autumn (fall) colours last year. The snow was beautiful although I got a bit annoyed with it by the end of the winter and I like the summer as the weather actually stays nice for longer than a few days. Thank goodness for air conditioning though otherwise I am not sure I would cope with the hot weather here!

Kate and her family

Kate and her family

What do you miss about the UK?

If I had been asked this about six months ago it would have probably been food-related, but generally if I fancy something British to eat I know where to source it – I can even buy British chocolate in a farmers’ market behind our house here! Of course, I miss my family and friends but Skype is brilliant and sometimes it doesn’t even feel like there is a whole ocean separating us! I also miss the simplicity of the NHS, the private medical system can be very complex here and trying to find a doctor that is covered by your insurance can be a complete headache. I definitely appreciate the NHS more now that I have lived in the US.

That's proper chocolate that is!

That’s proper chocolate that is!

What differences do you still encounter?

I still don’t get why Americans can’t buy a kettle and make instant coffee rather than buying it from Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks/Donut Delight! They could save so much money!

I live in a town where public transport is pretty good and you are able to walk most places but people still insist on driving everywhere.

My older boy would be off to full-time education in September if we were back in the UK, instead he has to wait another year to start kindergarten and we have to pay a fortune to send him to a pre-school for half days!

I am still not used to people being so outwardly friendly when we are out and about – I am someone who likes her own space and can find it quite intrusive when people want to strike up a conversation!

If you are pregnant, midwife-led care is not common here and you are usually looked after by an obstetrician. Postnatal care was very different from the UK too, in the UK you are expected to start moving around, getting your own breakfast and looking after your baby straightaway but in the US, you order a meal on the telephone and it is brought up to you within 30 minutes, if you wanted a nurse will come change your baby’s nappy (diaper) and if want a goodnight’s sleep the baby will be taken to the nursery and looked after. You are also expected to stay in hospital for at least two nights if you have had a natural birth and up to four nights after a Caesarian section, very different from NHS care where I gave birth and was discharged the same day!

A diaper or a nappy?

A diaper or a nappy?

The best thing about being a Brit in the USA?
Americans are always really interested about where we are from in the UK and lots of people comment that they love our accents.

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!

One of the main myths is that all Americans are fat but whilst living here I haven’t come across that many really obese people. I always see lots of fit and healthy people and also see a lot more people out jogging here than the UK.

One preconception that definitely does exist is that most people have epidurals and c-sections than give birth naturally. I haven’t met many Americans here that gave birth naturally and without pain relief (gas and air is not available here in the US).

P.S you can read about my adventures at my blog!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 179

Posted on July 17, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Hot in the UK!

Proof!

It had better stay this hot when I go back...then I can cuddle my mum and a lolly-licking bobby!

It had better stay this hot when I go back…then I can cuddle my mum and a lolly-licking bobby!

Coming to the the USA

A lot of Brits come and go in the USA, but makes them stay? Judy Ratner fell in love with an American and that was her passport to an all-new American lifestyle three decades ago.

This is Judy’s story….

I came to the US in 1981 in a rather familiar way. I met an American guy, Alan, in a wine bar in Cheltenham, where I was then living. We got married ten months later and moved to Maryland without me ever having set foot in the country before. We now live in Clarksville with our two dogs and a cat.

I work part time as a Business and Accounting Tutor at a local college and Alan has just retired.

I love living in an area with so much cultural diversity . In England, my friends tended to be just like me, whereas here I have good friends of different races, religions and ethnicities and my life is richer for it. I’m now an American citizen and I’m grateful for the opportunities this country has given me, especially the ability to go to university in my thirties. It was amazing to be in such a supportive environment and actually receive encouragement from professors. My school days in England were filled with teachers telling me what I couldn’t do. I now help and encourage students to pursue their own dreams.

Judy and Alan in the 70s!

Judy and Alan in the 70s!

What do you enjoy most about living in the USA?

Well, the weather, of course! It’s so nice to have reliably hot summers, colorful falls and winters which, although cold, tend to have more sunny days than your typical British winter.

I love the optimism and generosity of American people and their positive, upbeat attitude. It’s possible to reinvent yourself and start over at any age – go back to college, move to a different state or get plastic surgery. All are perfectly normal and acceptable!

The standard of living is generally higher than in Britain but Americans work very hard to achieve this. Forty-hour work weeks are standard and most companies give only two weeks paid vacation to new employees.

The level of service in shops, restaurants and hotels is more professional and customer-focused, although I have noticed things changing for the better in Britain in recent years.

This is corny but I love the way Americans are fiercely patriotic; they love their country and are not embarrassed to show it. We could do with a bit more of that in Britain.

Judy, Alan, Sadie and Harry :)

Judy, Alan, Sadie and Harry 🙂

What do you miss about the UK?

I miss the wonderful public transportation system. Not just inter-city trains but the network of local trains and buses which connect almost every town and village. I miss the British sense of humour, the pubs and the bus drivers calling me ‘love’. I miss Christmas in England – it’s just not the same here. But, most of all, I miss living in a lovely old town, with character, where I can walk to shops, restaurants, bank, post office and train station without getting in my car multiple times.

Fancy a pint, Judy?

Fancy a pint, Judy?

What differences do you still encounter?

People actually show up on time when you invite them over but, typically, Americans don’t drink as much as Brits (unless they’re under 25). They are more willing to say what they think/want without beating around the bush as Brits can do and, contrary to popular belief, I think American have better manners!

The best thing about being a Brit in the USA?

Although they waged a war to get rid of us, Americans still think a British accent automatically means you’re smart, sophisticated and cultured. Totally not true, but it does come in handy sometimes. I must brush up my British accent, which has, sadly, become rather mid-Atlantic after 30+ years.

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!

A big misconception is that Americans are stupid. In truth, a far higher percentage of Americans attend university and I find them, on the whole, to be knowledgeable and well-informed on a wide range of subjects.

Some views of American are closer to the truth. Yes, they do have better teeth! They are more likely to have strong religious beliefs, think that owning a gun actually makes the country a safer place and are, perhaps, more concerned about the quantity, rather than the quality, of the food they eat. Amen, load your weapons and pass the fried chicken and donuts!

Fry it up, baby!

Fry it up, baby!

How has the USA changed in the past 30 years?

First of all, some things, unhappily, don’t change – namely, the type of food served at most barbecues and pot-luck gatherings (warning – pet peeve follows!). Thirty years ago the menu was generally – hot dogs, hamburgers, badly-cooked chicken, potato salad, pasta salad and baked beans, followed by carrot cake, cupcakes and brownies. Dreadful stuff and it’s still pretty much the same today. Over the same period, I’ve noticed that food tastes and preferences in Britain have changed dramatically and for the better.

Pot luck - an American tradition

Pot luck – an American tradition

As far as changes – locally, the area where we live has become much more built-up and traffic congestion is worse but, on the plus side, we don’t have to drive so far for shopping and other amenities.

Nationally, the country is more polarized, with the two political parties moving further apart and not willing to work together. People are also more divided in terms of race and religion. In spite of having a black president race relations have deteriorated – it’s the ‘elephant in the room’ that people don’t want to talk about and the religious right seems bent on taking the country backwards in terms of women’s rights. The education system is in worse shape and we’re still trying to implement some form of affordable and accessible health care program for all people.

One of the biggest changes, I think, is in the attitude of many (the majority of?) Brits towards the USA. In the early 80’s Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan were close allies, the USA supported Britain in the Falkland Islands war and feelings towards the USA were generally favorable. Now, I feel this special relationship no longer exists and when I’m in England, I detect a rather anti-American vibe.

How they laughed in the 80s!

How they laughed in the 80s!

In spite of all the problems in the country – economic, social and political, I think most Americans are optimistic about the future and feel that things will get better. It’s that positive American attitude!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 178

Posted on July 17, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Guns….

Oh, guns. This tweet was forwarded to me by an American friend today and it reads thus: Trying to explain our gun situation to people in other countries is like trying to explain Hitler to dogs.

We Brits don’t really get guns. We don’t have a ‘gun culture’. The ‘cowboys’ at the mock-shootout we saw at the weekend asked us if we carried guns in the UK. Gosh, no, I replied. They both fascinate and repel me.

I wouldn't have one of these in my purse in the UK

I wouldn’t have one of these in my purse in the UK

See Dan’s interview below for a truly British perspective about guns….

Snow cones

These popular little cones of colourful fun are on the roadsides and at the pools in abundance at the moment and I had my first one today.

Snow cones are crushed ice. With coloured flavouring and are of no nutritional value whatsover. However, at the time it was perfectly refreshing. Bet you could do with some snow cones in the UK right now…..

Refreshing....

Refreshing….

The miles people travel

People are willing to travel much further in the USA than the UK, even in a day. The thought of setting out for a two hour journey to look at a beach or a mountain or to eat a special type of fish (yes, it’s true) and then drive back again is of no consequence to many Americans, it seems.

I remember when we planned a day trip….oh my, I would think, it takes 40 minutes to get to Oxford, that’s a long drive. But it would be nothing to moan about in this vast country. People are prepared to travel and the roads are made for doing just that.

I hear people do round trips of eight hours to see families at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Wow. It’s going to take me eight hours to fly one way to the UK in a couple of weeks’ time….

Miles and miles and miles

Miles and miles and miles

The Royal Baby, it cometh

Yep, a new sprog of royal descent is on its way and king or queen of our green and pleasant land it shall be.

There’s an air of excitement in the USA, and people are asking me: Are you on baby watch? Um, yes, I respond, having to think quickly. For one moment today I had no idea to which baby they were referring.

Such is the anticipation about the royal baby of Windsor, that Whole Foods has decided to produce a cheese.

Yes, some countries are lighting up monuments for the royal baby’s arrival, but America is celebrating with cheese! Good job (as is frequently said over here)!

Whole Foods is capatalising on the royal baby mania and has released a limited edition cheese named after Kate and Wills. The Westminster William and Kate Royal Addition Cheddar is an all-natural white cheddar that was aged for 12 months on a farm in England.

So, basically Whole Foods knew the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge would be having a baby three months before the couple even knew!

The cheddar comes in 10 lb wheels, which sells for $7.99/lb on sale, so if peeps in the UK want a taste let me know and I’ll bring some over in my luggage!

Cheesiness for their Royalnesses

Cheesiness for their Royalnesses

Living life in LA

Our mate Dan is living it up in LA right now, and he’s having a ball. He had to leave his wife and two sons behind in the UK, but they’ve joined him for the summer. So, how’s life in sweet LA, Dan?

Dan’s adventure

Hi – my name is Dan Whybrew. I’m a 31 year old lawyer from the UK and am currently in the lucky position of working in Los Angeles as part of a six month secondment from my UK firm. I specialise (or is that specialize?) in film and TV, which is what brought me to LA three months ago. Home is Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, with my beautiful wife and two amazing boys (aged nearly 3 and 5).

Dan and his boys

Dan and his boys

How is LA-LA land?

I spent the first 11 weeks waiting for my family to arrive so that in itself gives me a different perspective about life in LA. I’ve also only been here for 3 months, which obviously has a bearing on my views as it still feels like a great long holiday. Having said that, I do feel like I have been immersed into Americana sufficiently to give some insight and now that I’m reunited with the family I can give some comparisons from a more level playing field.

So far it has been a genuinely great experience (!!) and here are just a few observations from me….

Climate…
Readers probably get bored of this from the Brit contingent, as do most Americans that have to deal with this topic coming up in every conversation with anyone from across the pond. Brits are obsessed with the weather, and for good reason, and that’s why it tops my list! The weather in the UK is pants [excellent British phrase, Dan!], mainly because of the inconsistency and the fact that every summer we cling to the hope that we will get 8 weeks of sunshine and BBQs and are invariably disappointed (although as a write this I hear that the UK is experiencing a mini heat wave with temperatures of 90°F).

The inconsistency really affects how we plan and live our lives. Contrast that with the climate in Southern California – awesome! Granted I’m out here during the best months of the year but you just know when you get up in the morning here that it will be hot and sunny. That lends itself to doing things outside, enjoying all the free stuff (beaches, picnics in the park, swimming), being motivated to go for that run and generally leading a healthier lifestyle etc etc. So, for me at least, sunshine = happiness and there is so much sunshine that it’s difficult not to be all smiles here.

Now that's what I call a beach...

Now that’s what I call a beach…

People…
As others have observed, there’s often a perception from Brits that Americans are a bit fake, superficial, wannabe actors, dare I say it “cheesy”. And it’s the “Real Housewives of…” and all those types of shows which feed the stereotypes (NB. The rational (I like to think dominant) part of my brain hates that trash but there is a small (until now secret) perverse part of me which is kind of intrigued to watch and which prevents me switching over when I stumble on to the latest saga to trouble the Beverly Hills WAGs) . No disrespect intended but I would like to think that Americans do not take all Brits to be cast in the same mould (sic) as the “cast” of TOWIE (although I am an Essex boy myself) (PS. to any Yanks – I appreciate much of the last few sentences will be lost in translation so you will have to google some of the references).

The dreadful TOWIE....

The dreadful TOWIE….

Yes, Americans and Brits are different as a result of our history, culture, education, politics, religious outlook, geography etc etc but surely diversity is something positive to embrace – variety is the spice of life and all that after all. The vast majority of people I have met here are very pleasant people. Some are not. Some I have met are really great people and I am certain will be friends for a long time to come. That is just like anywhere , right?

My experience in LA is that people are very confident (more so than the average Brit) and much more willing to strike up a conversation (whether it’s in a lift, whilst buying a coffee or frankly anywhere there is human interaction). Is that such a bad thing? I don’t think so, although we cannot all be super-happy 100% of the time so I’m sure I’ve offended the odd person with an uninterested response when all I want to do is buy a drink and am not too bothered about said person’s last visit to London.

Guns and Hospitals…
I don’t want to dwell on these topics as I have not really been here long enough to give an informed opinion and I would rather focus on the positives of my experience in LA but the fact is that the approaches to guns and the healthcare system in the US and UK obviously differ vastly and both have a huge impact on our lives and how safe and protected we feel.

I will not apologise for the fact that I will never understand or agree with the gun laws in the US. The UK certainly does not boast a utopian society, far from it, but it really is saddening to watch or read the daily news in the US and witness it so often dominated by shootings. Yes, a Santa Monica incident could happen in Cheltenham because of some wacko but the point is that I just don’t feel like it will. That fear factor which leads everyone to want to own a gun for protection is a dangerous combination if you ask me. Anyway, that is just my opinion and I know it is hugely divisive.

I also feel that everyone should be provided with a certain level of healthcare by the state regardless of wealth and the healthcare industry should ultimately not be driven by a desire for profit. I know things are changing in the US and the NHS is far from perfect but do feel lucky the way we have it.

Movie time, LA style

Movie time, LA style

Misc. things that are better in the US

a. Fuel prices (and add prices of cars in general to that).
b. Actually, prices in general.
c. Fastfood – go on, admit it, everyone indulges every now and then. In N Out burger kicks ass/arse.
d. Supermarkets (with the exception of Waitrose in Cheltenham – Claire will testify). [Yes, this is v true!]
e. Cinemas.

Misc. things that are better in the UK

a. The countryside (remember this is based on my experience of LA. Having seen Mountain Men on the History channel I appreciate the US is a big place!).
b. Music.
c. Fashion. [Totally, apart from New York I think!]
d. Public transport.
e. Drunken nights out.

Name three things that you really miss about the UK…

1. Drunken nights out;
2. The ability to be able to spend a day or 2 without getting into a car; and
3. The 10 O’Clock News on the BBC.

The beautiful British countryside :)

The beautiful British countryside 🙂

What has really surprised you about the USA and its people and culture?

I wouldn’t say anything has really surprised me as I have grown up on a diet of American TV (Friends, Sopranos, 24, Breaking Bad, The A-Team and Bay Watch) so I knew exactly what to expect. Having said that, here are a few things I have noticed:

1. People really are super friendly. That is until they get into their cars and it is every man/woman on the road for themselves. The other day I stopped to let a guy pull out from a side street and he looked stunned and remained motionless despite me waiving him forward.

2. Americans really have little or no sense of the geography of the UK outside of London (I thought that was a myth but it’s not). I have given up explaining that I live in Cheltenham, a picturesque Regency spa town in the Cotswolds that does have Starbucks as well as indie cafés that sell afternoon tea. To be fair, I have no clue of the geography of Louisiana so we can’t complain.

3. The fact that people really do drive everywhere.

4. The amazing beer selection!! I was dreading 6 months of weak pissy lagers but the beer selection here is amazing!

5. Whilst people are sociable there is much less of a “let’s pop out after work for a drink scene” here. Probably because everyone has to blinking well drive. Also, I understand people don’t really do dinner over at friends’ houses as often as in the UK. Meeting for brunch is a much bigger deal.

6. I haven’t yet figured out how somewhere with as little rain as LA doesn’t have hosepipe bans (at least not as often as in the UK where it pisses it down for 11/12ths of the year!).

Does being in LA feel sometimes like you’re in a film set….?

Er, no. Unless I am actually in a film set, which is sometimes the case in my line of work. [Alright, smarty pants!]

Dan's family all together in the USA

Dan’s family all together in the USA

In what ways have you used your Britishness to your advantage?

The main reason I’m here (at least why I am being paid for the privilege) is for business development purposes and so I can meet people in my line of work. I am certain that being a Brit and new in town has meant more people are willing to meet up with me. There’s also no doubt that the accent gets noticed and my sons get a lot of attention!

PS.I’m only half way through my 6 month stay so I can let you know if anything changes come October (that’s if we leave then…..??). Suffice to say that for now it has been a truly amazing 3 months and I will never forget this experience. To quote a Hollywood legend, “I’ll be back!”.

PPS. Claire – your blog is superb! Very witty and insightful and when it is published I won’t demand any royalties or payment for copyright, just an end roller credit would be great. Thanks. [Blush, thanks Dan! Perhaps I’ll need your services when it gets made into a movie too… 😉 ]

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 177

Posted on July 15, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Aussies in the USA

Well, bung a shrimp on the barbie and get me a cold one, there’s only some Aussies hanging out in the USA!

Jane found my blog whilst doing her research about Columbia, Maryland in anticipation of her move here with her family from the Merry Old Land of Oz.

So, how’s the move from Down Under to Uncle Sam shaping up for this Sheila?

(Sorry about all that Neighbours lingo, but I couldn’t help it – I am a kid from the 80s, raised on Scott and Charlene – that’s Kylie Minogue to you, American friends! – and Madge and Harold… 😉 )

What cultural differences are there between the USA and Australia…?

Ah, memories....!

Ah, memories….!

Jane’s big move

I moved to the USA 4 weeks ago with my husband and two sons Leo (3) and George (2). We will be living here for 2 years for my husband’s job and we have settled in Columbia. We spent 2012 in Liverpool, UK and then returned home to Australia for 6 months before we came here. We hope to head home to Brisbane in two years with American accents (the kids will at least!) and a whole heap of wonderful memories.

How do you feel about moving to the USA?

My primary concern was guns and crime. With 50 shootings in Baltimore in our first three weeks here I don’t know what I was worried about (that is Australian sarcasm)!

What I was looking forward to was the openness and friendliness that Americans are renowned for. Don’t get me wrong, I met some lovely people in the UK, but it takes a long time to get to know people. It can take months of seeing people daily (and talking about the weather) before you even get their name.

I am also looking forward to experiencing four seasons. In Brisbane we have a hot summer and a warm winter – that’s about it.

Jane in the UK countryside

Jane in the UK countryside

In what way does it differ to a) the UK and b) Australia?

Having spent time in the three countries in the last two years, I feel that Australia fits somewhere in between the UK and America (not geographically of course). We share similarities with both. I believe we share the openness and directness with Americans and we share the sense of humour (and spelling) of the Brits.

What are your favorite areas/memories/traditions of living in the UK?

I previously lived in the UK in 1999/2000 and loved the pubs, shopping, TV (Sunday omnibuses), and proximity to Europe. Going back last year with two young kids in tow, it was difficult to experience these things the same way. I still enjoyed a pub lunch on a Sunday (Yorkshire pudding – yum!) and drives through the gorgeous countryside. The UK is just so beautiful and you can get half way across the country on a Sunday afternoon drive.

London is of course an amazing city with everything to offer. Liverpool is well worth a visit, especially if you are a Beatles fan (we lived a block from John Lennon’s childhood home and Strawberry Fields). My favourite part of the UK is northern Scotland where I lived in 2000. Stunning scenery, long summer days, and wonderful people.

The late, great John Lennon from Liverpool

The late, great John Lennon from Liverpool

What differences do you think really exist between American and Australian cultures?

It is too soon for me to really know yet. One thing I have heard others say (perhaps it is a myth) is that Australia is more outward-looking than America. Australians tend to be very keen to travel the world (maybe because we get longer holidays/vacations). Our news coverage in Australia is 50% local and 50% world news. I have not seen much world news here since I arrived but maybe I am watching the wrong channel??

Jane and her kids

Jane and her kids

The Brits and Aussies are pretty close in sense of humour and driving….! Do you feel that Australia and the UK have a closer, or different, bond than with America?

Yes I think Australia and the UK have a closer bond. We share the same Queen and many of us have British ancestry. It is easier for Australians to live and work in the UK. Many young Australians (including me), after graduating from university (college), spend 1 or 2 years on a working holiday in the UK and travelling Europe.

Jane and the Leaning Tower of...watch out!

Jane and the Leaning Tower of…watch out!

However, so many aspects of America seem familiar to me. I think this is because I grew up watching so many American movies and TV shows. Many of my friends have travelled to America in recent years love it here. They love the shopping, the passionate people, and the fact that everything is bigger and better.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 176

Posted on July 15, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Funny fanny?

Ok, let’s be clear about this. In the USA, ‘fanny’ means bottom or backside, and is an acceptable term.

In the UK, ‘fanny’ means something else, which I had to explain a couple of times yesterday to my US chums, after I got the giggles over this innocent statement in reference to a dog that I was stroking:

‘You’ve got a friend there for life; she loves having her fanny rubbed.’

I can’t help it – I watched a lot of Carry On films – quintessential British smut 😉

Marvellous British smut :)

Marvellous British smut 🙂

Car plates in the USA

You can have pretty much anything you like on a car plate in the USA. These are aptly known as ‘vanity plates’. Spotted this one yesterday…

I didn't hang around to see if he had a moustache and hairy chest....

I didn’t hang around to see if he had a moustache and hairy chest….

There’s a guy who drives this amazing red Cadillac round our area with the plate ‘MIDLIFE’. Blatant, I like it.

Other registration plates I’ve heard about or seen….

INDEBT
QQQQ II (four Q two – say it fast)
02 BE ME
1NTSTND
26E4U (Too Sexy for you)
2Q2BSTR8 (Too Cute To Be Straight)

And there are many, many more!

Maryland laws

I know not much about the laws in Maryland, and I certainly did not know this one, which was presented to me this very weekend: In Maryland, it is illegal for a wife to go through her husband’s pockets when he is asleep.

Well, the thought had never yet crossed my mind, and I don’t fancy jail time just for seeing if this law is true….

And so I chanced upon a bunch of other crazy laws for Maryland, that may or may not be true….

Maryland
• Baltimore: It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish.
• You cannot throw a bail of hay out of a second story window in Annapolis.
• In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
• Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

Happy for these laws/myths to be dispelled….!

A USA perspective on the UK

In this series of interviews, we’ve heard from Brits in the USA, and Brits who love the USA, and Americans who love the UK….but what is it like to uproot from the USA and make the UK your home?

This is Danielle’s story….

My name is Danielle Leist and I am an American 22-year-old student. I’ve currently made one of the biggest moves of my life moving from Michigan, USA to Romsey, England. I’ve moved here with my boyfriend of nearly 5 years in order to achieve an MSc in Marketing Management at the University of Southampton.

I’ve left behind my family whom I adore. I have a younger brother, Drew who is 20 years old living in Michigan, an older sister, Nickelle who is 29 years old living in San Francisco, and two loving, silly parents.

I’m currently finished with my modules and exams at university, but in the process of writing my dissertation. Along with this I work part time as a nanny to three young children aged 1, 2, and 3. They are the funniest kids and keep me busy, which I love. When I find free time I enjoy improving my tennis skills, a good workout session, going for a bike ride, and spending quality time with family and friends.

Michigan, USA

Michigan, USA

What do you love about your country?

I am biased having lived there my whole life (until now). I love most things about my country and appreciate more and more the longer I am away from home.

• Variety- I love that I wouldn’t have to leave the country to take any type of vacation (holiday). We have beaches, mountains, lakes, and a dessert, what more do you need?
• The size – I love that America is BIG! Driving on the roads here in the UK is one of the most frightening things I’ve encountered. Even in the tiniest little cars, I find myself holding my breath when passing opposing traffic. And I like that in America we don’t have many roundabouts- my archenemy!
• Weather – I love the weather in America! This is something I took for granted and actually didn’t like whilst living there. However, after moving to the UK where the weather is “mild,” I don’t mind having cold and snow knowing that I’ll have hot sunny weather all summer long.

What are your favorite USA areas/memories/traditions?

I have so many memories and traditions. However, one of my favorites is the 4th of July, the American independence day. In Michigan it is a tradition that the majority of people go “Up North” (northern Michigan) and go on the lakes. The weather is usually always hot and sunny and everyone is just simply happy, which could be a result of a few too many beers. Everyone is wearing their red, white, blue, stars and stripes. The sandbar is packed with boats and people. The floating band usually makes an appearance as well getting everyone dancing and singing along.

One of my favorite places in America is one that even most Americans wouldn’t know about. Michigan isn’t usually on the top of people’s list of places to visit. However, little do people know that northern Michigan is one of the most beautiful places. I had the privilege of living in Traverse City for 8 months last year. I would consider this to be one of my favorite places. It is directly on two bays, which are separately by a small peninsula. This peninsula has wineries on it, which is always a fun thing to do/see. There are (manmade) mountains nearby to snowboard or ski in the winter, and of course boating, swimming in the bay, and enjoying the beach in the summertime.

Danielle sailboating in Traverse City

Danielle sailboating in Traverse City

What differences do you think really exist between the UK and USA cultures?

• Family Relationships – One thing I’ve noticed about the UK is the family relationship. This does not apply to everyone, and this is just my perception, but once kids reach roughly 16 years old, they are treated as an adult. The parents tend to think they are old enough to have a job, pay for most things, and sort things out for themselves. Whereas in America, I feel as though parents support their kids longer. More parents pay for cars, education, clothes, help them figure out plans for big and small decisions.

• Personalities – I find that Americans are a bit more open than the British. You could strike up a conversation with just about anyone in the supermarket, on a bus, etc. Where as when I lived in London for a summer and riding on the tube, you weren’t to make eye contact with anyone or even dare start a conversation.

• Holiday time – The British value their holidays and holiday time off work. We work too hard in America. My dad owns a business in Michigan and his employees can enjoy a total of three paid days off. That might be a bit extreme, but most people do not get many days off. In the UK, the majority of people have 20-30 days off. I believe that’s how it should be. Have more time off to enjoy life.

• Food – The UK is very traditional – a meat of some sort, veggies, and starch. When cooking for the family here in England I always have to make sure to have the three parts. In America, we do a lot more protein and not so much carbs. A normal day in England consists of toast or some sort of bread (with butter) for breakfast, then a sandwich for lunch (with butter), then potatoes with dinner and a variety of cakes throughout the day with tea. A girl can only consume so many carbs in one day!!

Meat and two veg ;)

Meat and two veg 😉

About the USA: which myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and its citizens do you think really exist or are just a load of nonsense?!

Prior to traveling out of North America on my own, I didn’t know of many stereotypes of Americans or how much people believed it. I was of course aware of the stereotype that people think all Americans are fat, but I wasn’t sure to what extent people believed it to be true.

Traveling abroad as an American has completely opened my eyes to what people really think about Americans, and to be honest, it wasn’t a pleasant discovery.

• Fat Americans – First stereotype I’ll tackle is the “fat Americans.” People truly believe all Americans are fat. Yes, we have a lot of large people in America, however, we have more people in general therefore we will have more big people, but that also means we have more skinny people 😉

• Stupidity – I’m not entirely sure how people have made this preconception of Americans? For example, I was in Convent Gardens enjoying the street entertainment when the entertainer asked his volunteer to keep track of the time on her watch. He said, “it shouldn’t be hard, it’s only two minutes, unless your American then you might find it challenging.” In the same day, another entertainer made another comment about American stupidity. As an American, I was embarrassed and didn’t care to continue watching their shows.

• Knowledge of other countries – Lastly, there is a stereotype that American’s don’t know of or where any other countries are other than America. I would say this is one stereotype that is close to being true. Being in Europe and then going home, I am aware that as Americans, we are not educated on “the rest of the world” as much as we should be. Of course we know of other countries, but not as many as we should. I’ve only just learnt that Azerbaijan is a country and the girl in my class wasn’t just mumbling.

Danielle

Danielle

Being in Europe, I have felt that people always have something to say about the Americans, and it isn’t always particularly a nice thing. At times I have even felt embarrassed to tell people I am American because I immediately know what is running through their mind.

However, now that I have stepped off my soapbox and finished venting, I realize as an American, I may get defensive about my country (as if you couldn’t tell) but it has made me grow thick skin and view my country in new perspectives.

What amuses or frustrates you about the UK?

I would say I am both amused and frustrated by the weather in the UK. I thought I knew how the weather was here having visited three times prior, but I was proved wrong. Being from Michigan, I experience winters, which are filled with constant snowfall and freezing cold temperatures. Because of this, I appreciate the winters here in the UK. The temperature isn’t as cold and seeing snow collect on the ground is a rarity.

However, the summers haven’t been the same. I think I only hung up my North Face fleece last month (June)!! At home I know that even though we have freezing weather and snow, we can always expect sun and heat in the summer months.

What amuses me about the weather is the way the English react to it. In the winter, when there is snow the country does not know what to do. I had final exams in January and on the Friday it snowed. There were only a couple of inches but no one went to work, school was closed, and my exam was canceled. Not only was the country basically at a standstill, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw people using brooms, cardboard, and other items to try and clear the snow from their drive ways.

At the moment, England is experiencing its “longest period of heat in seven years,” a quote from the newspaper. While that statement alone makes me giggle, the people here make me laugh when defending it. I’ve been told numerous times that they normally have warm sunny weathers and they didn’t know why this summer took so long to heat up. I’ll make that decision over the next couple of years when I can see for myself.

UK summer heatwave!

UK summer heatwave!

In general, the English people talk about the weather more than any other topic I know. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “wow, it’s a hot one today,” or “it’s sizzling today!”. When it’s raining, every person you talk to has to tell you it’s raining even though your soaking wet clothes could tell you that. I find great humor in the weather here and makes me smile to observe all the commotion around it.

That's hot in the UK!

That’s hot in the UK!

What experiences have you had in the UK that you think you would not have had in the US?

Living in the UK has allowed me to have so many great experiences that I would not have in the US.

• International perceptions – Firstly I’ve been able to have an international experience. This has allowed me to open my eyes and learn what else is in the world. Learning new ways to look at things and having an open mind. I’ve had the opportunity to understand different cultures.

• Independence – Being so far from my parents has also allowed me to grow up and “cut the ties” from my parents. I know if I were still back in America, even though I thought I was not relying on my parents anymore, there would still be something that they were still supporting me on. I’ve been allowed to grow up and become independent.

• Travel – Traveling to Europe is very expensive from America. So living in the UK has given me opportunities to travel for cheaper. I went to Barcelona with Matt’s family which I would have been able to do if I did not live in the UK. It was crazy that I flew 2 hours (which wouldn’t get me too far in America) and arrived in Spain, a place I’ve been wanting to go for years!

• Learning to drive a manual car – I would have never learnt to drive a “stick-shift” car had I not moved to the UK. Of course learning to drive a manual car on the other side of the road was frightening, not to mention hill starts!! I never thought I would get the hang of it! But I now own my own car here in the UK and feel completely confident driving. Being able to say I can drive a manual car when I’m in America is quite a cool feeling 🙂

• Masters – Getting a masters degree in America is much more expensive and usually takes a couple of years minimum. I do not believe I would have pursued my masters degree had I not moved to the UK where it didn’t cost me as much and is only going to take one year.

Danielle wraps up warm

Danielle wraps up warm in Traverse City

What’s it like growing up in the US?

I’m not entirely sure what growing up in another country would be like and how much it varies. But I had such an amazing childhood with so many memories made. As a child I was always busy with a variety of sports, camps, and clubs. Most children take part in more than one sport and as they get older slowly narrow it down to one that they like the most. For me, it was gymnastics. I belonged to a club and was there until I reached high school and then competed for the school.

When we had breaks from school (Thanksgiving, spring break, mid-winter break, etc.) my parents would take my siblings and I on vacation. We were blessed to be able to take so many family trips. My family and I love to travel and experience new places. We traveled to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina often as my grandparents have a condo on the beach. We also traveled abroad several times.

Lush: Myrtle Beach

Lush: Myrtle Beach

One frustrating thing about growing up in the US was reaching your teenage years. Parents tend to be much more protective and keep track of your every move. Once I finally turned 16 and was driving on my own, my mom would call me every 15 minutes to make sure I was okay and ask where I was.

The drinking age was also a challenge. Although the drinking age is 21, it does not stop kids drinking at a younger age. Rather than going to pubs, bars, and clubs, house parties took place all the time. The police are very strict about drinking and have no tolerance for under age drinking. So having a few with friends was always a risk. Parents had mixed views on it as well. Parents don’t want to allow underage drinking, but they sympathize that we are old enough to have a couple of drinks. However, since parents know we drank young, they were even more protective and interested in where we were and if we were safe.

What’s it like hanging out with a UK family?

I’ll be honest, the thought of moving to England and living with my boyfriend’s family was slightly frightening. However, I don’t think I would have had the experience I’ve had without this family. I’m very close with my family and I was heartbroken having to leave them. So moving in with a family made me feel 10 times better! They have been so amazing and really made an effort to give me a great experience while I’m here.

I’ve learnt a lot about the English culture through them. I’ve even been taught the proper etiquette of hanging clothes on a line for drying because apparently I wasn’t doing it the correct way- who knew!? I love being part of their English traditions such as Sunday roast every Sunday, going for long walks on the countryside, and enjoying a cream tea.

That's how it's done in the UK!

That’s how it’s done in the UK!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 175

Posted on July 14, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

I love a cowboy

I do. I love a cowboy, a cowboy show, shootout and all the cowboy paraphenalia.

Cowboys are so….so American. They say: we’re strong and rugged individuals who don’t wince at pain and can move cattle and have big hearts, and can wear leather chaps and get away with it, and help damsels in distress….. 😉

And we don’t have them in the UK. Okay, so the history with the Native American Indians isn’t so hot, and I do declare that I am fascinated by the Indians and their culture and history, but in a slightly different way.

Cowboys just say ‘Americana’ to me. I love a bit of the old Wild West even if it is at a theme park recreating a ‘Main Street shootout about a bag of gold that can’t be taken to the bank ‘cos it’s Saturday’.

Here comes the gold!

Here comes the gold!

Get ready for the shoot out (average age of the cowboys = 65!)

Get ready for the shoot out (average age of the cowboys = 65!)

The end

The end

Brian England from England

I love that this guy, Brian England, from England, who has lived in the USA for 41 years still has his London accent. Not a dot of American going on with Brian, and it’s refreshing to hear a good Sarf London accent as we sip on tea. There’s more than a touch of the charismatic ‘bloke from England’ about Brian, and it’s all good honest British humour and tales from his 41 years here.

I met Brian because he runs the very successful company BritishAmerican Auto, and is a bit of a lad about town here – a good lad, mind you. He knows the area of Columbia, and loves it. He’s on all sorts of committees and wot not from health to transport and has a passion for this place, which has only been around for a few years longer than he’s been in town.

BritishAmerican Auto’s reception has a touch of the museum’s about it – scrap books from when he and his wife first arrived; pictures dating back to the 70s and his first US licence. It’s worth popping into BritishAmerican Auto to have a nose at some of the stuff he has on display, as well as to get a cuppa and some car repairs!

This is Brian’s story

I was born in Bushey, Herts in 1946, I married Jennifer in 1969 and we lived in South Harrow until 1972 when we came to the US. We lived in Rockville for one year then move to Columbia. We have two children, Jill born 1976 and Sandi in 1979. We have three grandchildren Brynn, Gareth and Lucas. We lived in Oakland Mill, Long Reach and in Hickory Ridge since 1986.

We opened our business in 1978 and moved to our own building in 1999. Our auto service and repair shop have been voted number one for auto repair in Howard County for nearly 30 years. We were Maryland small business of the year in 2003 and I was Maryland small businessman of the year in 2004.

Brian and Jennifer

Brian and Jennifer

What do you enjoy most about living in the USA?
Living in Columbia. Columbia is special; it is an incredible community, and we have many friends, great neighbors and very supportive customers. Then there are the 90+ miles of bike paths and acres of opens space and three lakes to enjoy.

What do you miss about the UK?
Family, wonderful pathway system, pubs and no matter where you visit there is a nice cafe (I read this as ‘caff’! 😉 ).

What differences do you still encounter?
Language, even after forty years words pop out that people don’t understand, recently I used the term “hat trick” and got a blank stare.

The best thing about being a Brit in the USA?
Having an English accent opens up conversations, it gives people an excuse to connect.

Brian has a well-earned rest; what a busy boy!

Brian has a well-earned rest; what a busy boy!

What myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA do you think do exist or are just a load of nonsense?!
The amazing thing is that some Americans equate the accent with honesty; hey if that was the case there would not be any prisons in the UK.

PS. I have always had the feeling that you can make a difference and effect positive change. It might be slow and frustrating sometimes but it is still possible.

By being a member of Maryland Health Care for All which has influenced health care reform it has led to our company being on CNN, New Hour PBS, Fox business, NPR. It led to meeting the president at a White House Health Care forum on ABC, shaking his hand and giving him my health care input. I have spoken at hearings and round table forums at the executive office building with Nancy Ann Depola (White House health care policy director). I have spoken at news conferences with Senator Harry Reed and with Nancy Pelosi and other democratic leaders at the anniversary other health care law becoming the law. This forum led to my daughter and grandson being on CSPAN!

People have sought out the small business opinion and it has led to me being on the Healthy Howard Board, Maryland insurance commission health information policy board and other local health care boards and panels.

Brian knows his stuff!

Brian knows his stuff!

It has been an amazing ride and a lot fun. (Only is the USA? Maybe but as I have not lived anywhere else I will never know….)

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 174

Posted on July 12, 2013 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

The weather

‘It’s pretty much the worst summer we’ve had in a long time.’

Harsh, harsh words to the delicate ears of a sun-loving Brit just yesterday. Come on, America-land, give me that sunshine! I know you have it (and I don’t mean that 105 degrees for three relentless, sweaty weeks with no electricity like you had this time last year.)

Stop messing with my sunbathing plans

Stop messing with my sunbathing plans

The states of things in Baltimore

The shootings have totally dominated the news in Baltimore. Remember, it’s a 25 minute trip to Baltimore from our town, and I totally love bits and bobs of Baltimore, so when I read about the shootings, it really seems a world away from this bubble-environment I live in.

This is what they say about it: ‘The frustration over the recent gun violence continues to grow after two shootings, including one in Fells Point. City leaders are now working to control a dangerous mix of gangs and guns. Early Friday morning, masked men robbed a man at gunpoint on Beaumont Avenue in Northeast Baltimore.

More than 20 people have been murdered in three weeks.

And non-fatal shootings have risen a staggering 115 percent in the last month.

Police, in part, have blamed violent gangs.’

Gangs of Baltimore

Gangs of Baltimore

A Brit obsessed with American sports

And why not? There is much to love about American sports – well, I love the food, the atmosphere, the colour of the shirts etc – I’m not that in to the actual GAME…… but Matt is and this is his American story.

Matt’s Game

My name is Matt Renouf. I am currently a student at Southampton University, UK pursuing a Masters degree in Accounting and Finance. I begin a career training to be an accountant in September. I lived in America for four year from 2008-2012. For the first three years I was a student-athlete pursuing a Bachelor’s degree. I first went over to the states on a full-ride soccer scholarship. For the last year, I worked as an account manager at a small manufacturing company just outside of Detroit. I currently live with my parents at home in Southampton, UK.

What fascinates you most about the USA / what do you love about it?

I love America for a number of reasons:

1. As a sporty person, I love the US and American people for their love and dedication to sport and fitness. I enjoy always being able to turn on the television in the US and watch a game of some sort. I think that the scale, dedication and allegiances to University sports teams is unbelievable and something that nowhere else in the world can match at an amateur level.

2. The shear size of America is something I prefer over the UK. I find the UK to be quite claustrophobic and I do not buy the ‘cosy’ perception of the UK, many UK residents have. I like the big roads, big cars, larger homes and open spaces.

3. I am fascinated and in favour of the political perspective in America. I am for the capitalistic mentality and the emphasis on private property and hard-working profit seekers. I believe this makes for a more efficient economy and is a system designed for those who are motivated to succeed.

4. The weather. I love the beautiful summers where good weather is guaranteed and the contrast to the colder, snowy weather (Midwest region). I think it is a good combination of weather and you are able to do the sunbathing, relaxing or active things in the summer as well as great things to do in the winter such as skiing, snowmobiling etc.

Matt loves the USA!

Matt loves the USA!

Having visited or lived in the USA, what are your favorite areas/memories/traditions?

• I think that there is no where nicer to be in the summer than North Michigan. I loved being by the lakes, enjoying the beaches, water and water sports. North Michigan was home to some of my fondest memories.

• Another great area I love is Detroit. Although Detroit has got some bad perceptions I think it is a city that is really turning around and somewhere to definitely invest now for huge gains in the future.

Detroit

Detroit

• My favourite city in America that I have visited is Chicago. I liked the size, skyscrapers and city atmosphere but was more impressed by the relaxed nature of city life and cleanliness of the city in comparison to New York.

• Some of the traditions I most enjoyed were 4th of July celebrations and Thanksgiving. I always will remember the 4th of July for being up north on the lake having BBQs, beers and good music. I will always remember Thanksgiving for being more family orientated and really enjoyed being around my girlfriend’s extended family for the celebration.

What differences do you think really exist between our cultures?

• Personalities – Americans are a lot more enthusiastic, customer service orientated and friendly. UK people often comment that they feel that US people can be fake when it comes to these traits. However, I perceive them as being genuine, welcoming and open people.

• Religion – religion was one of the first differences I noticed in American when I first went to university. The town my university in had 35 churches in it, servicing 40,000 people. That would be unheard of in the UK. The openness of young people in America to their religious believes is very different to over here. IN the UK, young people that go to church and are religious are often perceived as being ‘geeky’, ‘unsociable’ and not very popular. This is not the case in America. I also experienced a few times that parents would often use the threat of university education against their children that did not want to go to church. Some parents I knew would often say “if you’re not going to go to church this Sunday, we will not pay for your university education” – this mentality is wrong my eyes but showed me the seriousness of religion in America.

To church or not to church?

To church or not to church?

• Child and Parent Relationships – another big difference I noticed was the reliance young people have on their parents. In the UK it often seems that full independence for young people begins at 18. That’s when they start having to pay for their phone, having a part time job for money, having to pay for their car expenses. In the US, I often felt that this stage in life did not come until completely after university education at 21-22. This is also the start of being able to drink. But most young people I knew, their parents paid for all of their expenses: their car, their car expenses, their phone etc etc until a much later age. Hence, young people in America are a lot more dependent on their parents for a lot longer than those in the UK.

Chillin' in the USA

Chillin’ in the USA

About the USA: which myths, stereotypes and preconceptions about the USA and its citizens do you think really exist or are just a load of nonsense?!

• Overweight and fat – I think this is a huge preconception and stereotype which in fact I think is totally untrue. Yes, there are many Americans that are overweight. However, the proportion to the population of these obese people is very similar to that in the UK. I have often found that Americans are actually more active, more sport orientated and more willing to exercise than British people.

• Fast food – The level and scale of fast food availability is myth which became very evident to me in America. Which is why Americans often get the fat people stereotype. It is impossible to drive down a road without having access to a drive through or fast food of some sort, whether that is in a McDonalds type of place or even the gas station.

• Cosmetically Focused – I would say that the perception of Americans being cosmetically focused is mostly true. Americans on the whole are very concerned about having a nice body and especially having nice teeth. Something English people are probably less concerned about.

I loved reading this – Matt gives another perspective on the USA from that of a young Brit, who’s been close to the American youth culture. This is something I would so love to know more about – it is truly fascinating, especially the bit about the parent/child relationship….I see this burgeoning even among five year olds. Top stuff, Matt!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments