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Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 402

Posted on April 13, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Sunshine (at last)

Well, after two days of Spring, summer’s here on the East Coast, and gloriously hot it was too. It’s warmer than England now, don’t ya know (and bloody right, so it should be – summer’s one of the reasons I wanted to move here!)

Aussie or British: A Very British Problem

Today an older American gent approached me at one of the gyms where I work. Nothing untoward there, to be honest. Except that this is the conversation that ensued:

‘G’day. You ever go out for a “sneaky beak”?’

“I beg your pardon?’

‘A “sneaky beak”….you know…that’s what a lady in Australia told me is the phrase she used when she went ‘taking a look around a place’. How long have you been over here in the States? Forgotten that already?! Hahahaha!’

‘It must be a colloquialism….’ [pause] ‘We don’t really use that in, um, Sydney.’

And for the next [excrutiating] ten minutes he told me all about his adventures in Australia, with me nodding about how lovely the lamb is there, and how big the vegetables are, and how cool Bondi Beach is (never been there). Occasionally I interjected, in a kind of mock Aussie-drawl. I even asked him if he’d been to England ever and that I had been there myself several times, but he kept going on about Oz. Ten minutes is a long, long time.

Oh, why did I stumble and not tell him that I was from England? Because I am British, and I don’t like to correct that kind of thing, that’s why. He’d made the assumption I was Australian, and I just really, really did not want to embarrass him, because he obviously wanted to talk to someone from Australia about his time in Australia, and I at least gave him that, in a manner of speaking. I do get asked if I am from Australia a lot; this time I stood no chance of saying I wasn’t (even though I am sure I would love the place). Sigh.

These images will explain this British etiquette/phenomenon/awkwardness that occurred today in no uncertain terms.

😉

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, Australia, Australian, Britain, British, British problems, colloqualisms, Culture, England, English, hocoblogs@@@, language, lifestyle, spring, summer, UK, USA | 10 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 401

Posted on April 11, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Investigation Discovery: Southern Fried Homicide

So, I don’t watch TV in America-land, but I got to learn about something that I feel I must watch on a rainy afternoon when I really, really, really do not have anything better to do.

This thing is the Investigation Discovery channel. Many of my fellow actors in the play I’m in have had parts in these TV shows, which recreate crimes and murders and other horrible stuff and tell how they happened, why they happened and how these crimes were solved.

Juicy tales from the Deep South

My ‘favourite’ title of these shows is Southern Fried Homicide, the synopsis of which reads thus:

‘Across the Deep South, heat, humidity and darn good hiding places provide a perfect backdrop for dark, despicable deeds. Southern Fried Homicide transports viewers into the steamy, Southern subculture whose lifestyles and charming drawls are captivating viewers – and covering up crimes.

‘SOUTHERN FRIED HOMICIDE probes the juiciest stories from down in the Bible Belt, from the Carolinas to Louisiana and Tennessee. The premiere episode profiles an old adage in the south: families are a bit like fudge – mostly sweet, but with a few nuts. After pedigreed Southern belle Susie Newsom’s marriage fails, sweet Susie spirals and starts to have an affair…with her disturbed first cousin. When the rest of the family isn’t exactly thrilled with the kissing cousins, their scandalous relationship ends with nine family members dead, spanning from Kentucky to North Carolina.

‘SOUTHERN FRIED HOMICIDE proves that ugliness lurks behind Southern beauty when cracks in moral society give way to cold-blooded murder. Actress Shanna Forrestall, a native belle of Louisiana, serves as the gatekeeper to these salacious stories that give another meaning to things that “go south.”‘

The butler did it!

I mean, how can you NOT want to watch that! 😉

Check out a clip here…it’s pretty amazing! (I love the bit that says ‘some of the dialogue has been fictionalised for dramatic purposes’ – no sh*t!!!)

The NYC guy

I like hearing tales from Brits in other parts of the States. Chris lives in NYC, the Big Apple and is a part-time stand up comedian – must be a tough gig in America as a Brit comedian (I only say that cos some of my jests and jokes evoke only tumbleweed…).

Anyhow, this is his [funny] story….

Occupation: Part-time Stand-Up Comedian and full-time project wrangler
Time in the USA: Since Oct 2012.
Reason you came to the USA: I fell in love.

I met Fiona, a few weeks before she moved to New York with her work, and we did the long distance thing: transatlantic. And yes, it was very expensive, but so worthwhile. We dated for less than 9 months, and that was it. I was sold, I asked her to marry me in the April and we got married in July three months later. Once I got my paperwork through, I moved over to be with her.

I tell this story when I’m on stage, as it is completely true, and for the romantics in the house.. it gives hope to that it could happen to them. However for those couples who have been together for a bit longer: 2 years, 3 years, 5, 10… but not had “that chat” – I have to apologize in advance for the awkward subway journey home.

When you arrived as an expat, what were your initial impressions of the USA? Has it changed much since you’ve been here?
It is everything you think it will be. In New York everything is bigger and louder, and anything is possible. I am still a tourist – just a long-term one. When I’m walking around, I still do a double-take and go “that’s the Empire State Building!”.. wherever we move to next, I know that a bit of my heart will always be here.

American pride!

What things really highlight the differences between our cultures?
The sense of pride in America is invigorating and ingrained – anything is possible. British people seem more modest and considered; being number 1 is still celebrated, but we just don’t want to cause a scene.

How is your life different from at home? What are the challenges and frustrations you encounter?
I miss my family, Skype is a godsend and I have lost track of all the hours spent on it. The biggest challenge is with the time difference; my folks often expect a call much earlier than I am ready for. It took them a little while for them to understand that 10am on a Saturday for them, is still me snoring in bed.

Do you actively seek out a British community?
Not proactively, but I have met some great people through random adventures… even someone who went to my university and lived in the same apartment!

NYC

What differences do you really notice between us Brits and our American cousins?
There are a lot of preconceptions when people find out I am British; they think of Doctor Who, James Bond and Downtown Abbey – so I know I could be a disappointment. Understandably, people have ideas of what they think British life is like. I have had to field some odd questions from colleagues here:

“Do you celebrate Mothers Day in the UK?”
“Yes.”
“what do you call it?”
“Mothers Day”
His mind was blown.

A perception at home is that American comedy is just a series of punchlines, but in my experience New York audiences are smart and aware and comedy offerings here are of a very high caliber.

(See Chris on stage here!)

What’s your favourite British saying that you keep uttering? And which Americanisms have you adopted?
I used to apologize a lot “excuse me, pardon me etc” when I was walking around and trying not to bump into people.. I have toned that down now. I never expect that people would ask me to say things in my “quaint British accent”. I was getting a sandwich at a deli on 23rd Street. I was minding my own business In the queue, and the lady behind the counter asked what I wanted.

“Ham and Cheese on Rye please.”
“Oh my God, are you British.”
“Yes.”
“Would you say something for me?”
(There was a long line of hungry people stood behind me. I heard once voice say gruffly “Say what she wants, I want my lunch.”)
“Sure – what can I say?”
“The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain.”
Was happy to oblige, but the think is that no British person has ever said this in real life, and to be honest I doubt any Spanish weather forecaster has either.

Cheese on rye is sooo Americana

Tell me a bit about your work and what you do. Has being in America made a difference to your career?
I work for a growing company which makes online games. One unexpected challenge was that my use of language had to change to include (in particular) sporting metaphors. With the stand-up, comedy was a personal challenge for me when I moved here. I wanted to do something here that I couldn’t do anywhere else in the world. So many venues, a diverse range of performers and the bar is set very high. I’ve been lucky with meeting great people through it – audience, artists and promoters – and it’s going really well.

Chris at a gig

Tell me 3-5 things you would take back to the UK from the USA.
Brunch; it’s a classy way of having booze with breakfast at the weekend.
The playing of the national anthem, as I mentioned earlier, there is such pride in here and if they have an excuse they will play “Star Spangled Banner”. I love that, I wish we played “God Save the Queen” without feeling awkward about it. Granted that might wind up the Scots with that awkward second verse, but I think we should be stronger in our identity.
Finally – it’s a tossup between a Philly Cheese Steak or Reece’s Peanut Buttercups.

And 3-5 things you think the USA should have/implement from the UK.
Full-size pint glass – don’t change the volume based on the strength of the beer. If a man wants a pint, let him have a pint.
Squash; a cordial; doesn’t have to be a posh barley water, but something to slay a thirst. Iced tea mix is just not the same as Ribena.
Oh – proper chocolate.

You live in NYC, what’s that like and what do you love/dislike about it?
My wife told me that the seasons are much more noticeable here than back home. I just smiled and nodded. The second week I got here, Hurricane Sandy. We live on the 38th floor of a building, it was the first time I really appreciated that buildings here are designed to sway. Thankfully, we had power but friends didn’t, so we helped out and people came over to shower, charge phones & drink wine. Fi was rushing around beforehand to make the place tidy, and she started lighting candles everywhere. I asked why, she wanted to make the place cosy. I had to remind her that these people had been living by candle light for the last few days, we could look like we are taking the mickey.

Three words: New York is…… Big and apple-y.
Three words: America is….. USA! USA! USA!

Posted in Travel | Tagged American comedy, American TV, Big Apple, British comedy, brunch, Cheese on Rye, Chris Williams, comedy, Empire State Building, iced tea, Investigation Discovery, NYC, Philly Steak, Ribena, Southern Fried Homicide, Star Spangled Banner | 3 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 400

Posted on April 9, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

400 posts!

Holy cow, that’s a lot of writing. Fact.

British eccentricity

I wrote a piece recently about how the British liked to take their clothes off a lot at sporting events. I’m told this also happens in America at the colleges quite frequently, so if I have time I’ll head to one of those colleges and check that out…. In the meantime, here is my piece about streaking the British way for you to enjoy 🙂

Streaking, British-stylie

Drive up banking

I love drive-up banking in the USA, but I sometimes get it wrong. I don’t want to clip the wing mirror, but there again, I don’t want to feel like Mr Bean when I attempt to tap in my pin number and insert my card. There is a certain art to it, and sometimes I just fail.

Color/colour-blind

I spotted this picture yesterday at an event I attended.

It needs no explanation.

Abe Lincoln had it right.

Posted in Travel | Tagged Abraham Lincoln, America, American, Americans, Blog, Britain, British, British eccentricity, Culture, drive up banking, England, Erica Roe, expat, expats, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, Mr Bean, racism, streaking, UK, USA | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 399

Posted on April 6, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

My So-Called Teenage Life in the USA

I am a bit fascinated about what it must be like to be a teenager in the USA. Why? Because, quite simply, I grew up as a teenager in the UK and I know there must be quite a lot of differences in the social structures and education system and wot not. We are different in so many ways, and I often wonder how I would respond if I were a British teenager out here in the USA. For a start, there’s the difference in the legal age for drinking…..

I also have images of Glee, the Breakfast Club, Grease and all those high school TV shows and movies in my head, and I wonder if they must be true. I kind of glamourised American school culture, with no school uniforms, lockers, catching the school bus, driving to school in open top cars, the jocks, the geeks, the cheerleaders, the marching band, the prom, the homecoming dance, graduation…..

The iconic USA high school prom

I asked a British teenager, Molly, who has just moved to Howard County at the age of 17, about her experience of the differences and similarities between the British and American systems and ways of life. I’m curious about her experience, because I went to live in Gibraltar as an expat child at the same age as Molly and was met with a gregarious, exciting and crazy social life, a British/Gibraltarian education system, a plethora of opportunities, freedom, a drinking culture, lazy days on the beach, Spanish culture and adventures that have stayed with me forever.

This is a very honest, insightful piece by Molly about her new experiences in the USA.

Molly’s Teenage Life in the USA

Time in the USA: 3 months – arrived January 2014

1. When you arrived here as a British teenager, what were your initial impressions of the USA? How do you feel it differed from the UK?

Moving to the US has been one of the most daunting, but amazing experiences I have ever had. And what a hectic 3 months it has been! I had already visited the States a number of times with my family before moving to Columbia, so I vaguely knew what kind of lifestyle to expect. We always loved our American holiday adventures, Florida being a favorite, and it seemed crazy that I would actually end up living here. Moving over in January seemed a very bizarre time to come quite honestly! It completely ruined my AS schedule, as I had to leave halfway through the school year, we faced continuous torrential rain whilst trying to move out of our UK house (typical British weather!) and then we faced a large amount of snow in the first couple of weeks after arriving in Columbia which stopped us from sorting out numerous important things that we needed in order to live over in the US.

On so many occasions in the first month, I seriously questioned why I was actually out here. I doubted whether it was the right move and I was adamant that my life would have been so much easier if I had just stayed in the UK. It took a painfully long time for me to get into high school, which left me a lot of time to worry about everything!

Geeks, jocks, cheerleaders….

2. You attend high school here.
a. Tell us what you would be doing in the UK for school and social life right now if you were there.

If I was still in Britain I would be currently studying for my AS Exams. I was so happy when I finished my GCSE’s because I thought I could just focus on four subjects that I really enjoyed for A level. Unfortunately that didn’t happen for me – you have to carry on studying every subject until you graduate over here (just when I thought I had managed to shake off Math’s and Science!). As I had to leave halfway through Year 12, I made the decision to study just one subject in the 3/4 months I had left. This was a really intense period, trying to cram everything in, but I managed to get it done and I am due to fly back in May to take the exam.

Sixth Form in the UK is generally a really fun time (despite the school work!) for most students. From the small amount of experience I had, there were loads of social events to attend and you got so much more freedom compared to the lower years in school. The introduction of free periods was a blessing! On top of this you had really strong friendships due to having spent the last 5 years with the same people. This was something that made the move over here so much harder.

b. How is this different from what you are doing now in the USA?

The first week of American high school has definitely been one of the most hysterical times ever. Whenever I opened my mouth, people would either be mesmerized by my accent, kind of in a trance or they completely freaked out and started shouting and pointing at me! In the UK I wouldn’t say I stood out for a particular reason at school, I just was a normal teenager getting on with life, so having all the attention focused on me felt quite peculiar and unsettling. I have kind of got used it now, something still happens every day as I am introduced to more new people. I am continuously repeating certain words and phrases much to the amusement of the students, but I quite like it and I feel very flattered!

The USA school bus

My UK school timetable would have been Art, Textiles, History and Business Studies, however at my American high school I am studying American Government and Politics, Fashion and Interior Design, Psychology, Law and the Citizen, Algebra, English and Sociology. Completely different! Not only are there nearly double the subjects but half of them I haven’t even studied before. I went in a bit clueless really! However I didn’t let this phase me, I went into all my classes with a positive attitude and now I really enjoy them (except maybe American Government and Politics, it’s just sooo boring!)

3. What are the key differences between the British and American teenage social structures?

I’ve only been at an American high school for roughly 8 weeks, so I haven’t been able to observe in depth the social structures. However, one thing I have noticed in particular is that people tend to hang out with peers that are interested in similar extracurricular activities, whereas in the UK I was friends with people who all had different types of hobbies. For example if you played an instrument in band, you would most likely associate yourself with other band members – just like in the movies!

4. What differences have you noted between the British and American teenage social life?

I think the large majority of American teenagers social lives are based around their extracurricular activities. It is seen as important to take part in activities out of school in order to make your college application stronger. Therefore extracurricular activities are put ahead of social lives. High school sport teams for example are a huge commitment, and training occurs almost every afternoon after school. Most after school clubs in the UK were once a week, so this is a huge contrast. When teenagers have the time to meet friends out of school, it seems pretty similar to the UK. It is usual to go out to eat, go shopping, watch a film at the cinema etc.

5. What differences have you noted between the British and American teenage education / schools?

One thing I have particularly struggled with since starting high school is the early mornings. I have to be on the bus at 6.45am in order to get to school on time, but in the UK I didn’t have to catch my school bus until 8am. The benefit is you do get to come home earlier, so you can achieve more in the afternoon when you get back from school. I have also noticed that I don’t receive as much homework either over here, which I personally think is brilliant after having to spend so many hours at home completing work for GCSE and AS exams. Lessons in American high school are a lot more vocal, as teachers regularly hold class discussions. I have really enjoyed this because it enables everyone to get involved.

If you are interesting character in a USA movie, yours will be on the top row 🙂

6. What three things do you think British teenagers could learn from American teenagers?

• Be more confident – e.g. American’s generally enjoy speaking publicly, whereas I noticed in the UK most tried to hide away from it!
• Don’t be afraid to say your opinions.
• Get up earlier in the morning – my days have been more productive since I have had to start school so early.

7. What three things do you think American teenagers could learn from British teenagers?

• Be more creative – structure and guidelines are very rigid over here, there aren’t enough opportunities to express individuality.
• Take pride in self image- I have seen too many flip-flop and sock combinations!
• Respect elders – teachers and adults aren’t given enough credit for the hard work and effort they have put in to help our generation succeed.

8. Complete this sentence:
American teenagers are: enthusiastic, confident and committed.

9. Complete this sentence:
British teenagers are: hard-working, creative and sociable.

High school life

P.S.
I definitely think moving out here was a good choice. All the positives outweigh the negatives – not many British teenagers get the opportunity explore the US in their free time! The move has no way been easy, that is for sure, but we have met so many lovely people in Columbia that have made us feel welcome, which has made the transition more enjoyable. To anyone who is moving to the States, the only advice I could give to them is embrace all the opportunities that are available over here. It is a great way to meet new people and make new friends, with who you will potentially keep in contact with for the rest of your life. It is not like you are completely cut off from your life back at home, I have been so grateful for the technology that has allows us to FaceTime or Skype friends and family, they’re only a phone call away.

Any of this going on on the bleachers…?

P.P.S.
We often think that USA high schools are like those we see in the movies or on TV.
a) Are there any similarities or not? and
b) Do you ever stop and think: that’s just like Glee, Grease or similar…?!

I have constantly been comparing the situations I’ve been in, or the things I have seen with scenes out movies, because that is all I had really to form a picture of American high school. I have found a lot of similarities, much to my amusement, but I don’t know whether that is just because I was looking for them!

Cliques definitely exist in the American high school environment, because your interests define what ‘group’ you associate yourself with. All the big events that you see in films and T.V such as Prom and Home Coming most certainly occur too, and these from what I have seen and heard are very materialistic, and you are judged on your dress, transport, hair , date etc. so there is a lot of pressure put on people. Unfortunately I haven’t yet seen anybody break out in song in the school corridors, like in Grease or Glee, but I am hopeful that it one day might happen!

A fan piece, Molly. Thank you!

#HoCoBlogs

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American, Americans, AS levels, Breakfast Club, Britain, British, cheerleaders, Columbia, Culture, drinking, education, England, English, expat, expats, Gibraltar, Glee, graduation, Grease, high school, high school lockers, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, jocks, lifestyle, marching bands, Politics, proms, school, social, teenagers, UK, UK schools, USA, yellow school bus | 2 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 398

Posted on April 6, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Hanging it all out to dry

So, let’s talk dirty laundry, or rather clean laundry.

In the UK I had a lovely little garden to go with my lovely little house and at the end of the lovely little garden there was a lovely little hole in the ground, in which, when weather permitted, I stuck my rotary washing line to dry my clothes.

Ah, the scent of freshly dried linen in the sunshine – you just can’t beat it! (Although my British friend told me a charming tale of how her village had a little writ instructing those who neighboured the church not to hang their washing out to dry on a Sunday – oh, sweet and funny England! Her friend even grew a hedge round her washing line to obscure it from view!)

This is not my actual washing line. I did not tend to take pictures of it, funnily enough.

Now, where I live in Howard County it is against all Housing Association rules to hang out your laundry/washing to dry.

Sometimes I find this a little sad. There is something very therapeutic and satisfying about standing out and pegging up your linens and smalls and then forty-five minutes later getting them in, folding them and popping them in your wicker basket as if one was a washer woman in the early 20th century.

But here it’s all about the tumble drier. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my tumble drier and it is so convenient and easy and makes the clothes and towels all soft and bouncy (rotary-dried towels are as hard as nails), but there are regulations here about hanging ANYTHING out to dry, which is kind of sad because it is totally environmentally friendly. I do understand that it doesn’t always look attractive, and it might be associated with areas that don’t look aesthetically pleasing when it is all hung up, but, by gawd, the electricity bills, impact on the environment and wot not must be astronomical. Just sayin’!

Laundry in NYC hanging out to dry….

Admittedly, when I think of some washing lines, I conjure up images of Coronation Street….

But, it just is an interesting thing about living where I live in the USA – you certainly don’t air your laundry for all to see – literally or metaphorically 😉 Lifestyle changes as an expat – they stick with you, they surely do. Although I have been informed today that the rules might have changed in some way in Howard County…… so I will test this….prepare to to see my undies out to dry next week Columbia, MD!

Queen Vic

From Coronation Street, to Eastenders. Well, not quite. But on to Vicki, who lives in Washington DC, and writes a blog about ‘one woman’s journey to live like a Queen.’ How does this work in the USA? Read her interview and find out!

Name: Vicki, age 32 1/2
Occupation: 2nd grade teacher by day, self-proclaimed photographer and wino (separate things) by night
Location: Washington, DC

Tell me a bit about growing up in the USA and what your childhood was like.
Oh gosh, I’m not sure I can answer that succinctly. I’d like to think that growing up in these here United States of America might be like growing up in any other developed country. My parents both worked, my sister was (and still is) 8 years older than me, we had a sweet pet cat which I was obsessed over (rest in peace, Muffin), I did ballet from age 4 until 18, as well as Girl Scouts and piano lessons for that length of time. We lived far from family, but visited them for Christmas. We went to church on the weekends. We never ate something sweet for breakfast before eating something healthy. Oh, and we always took our vitamins; my mom was a bit of a health fanatic.

Victoria

You live in DC and are a teacher – how did American kids differ today from your childhood? What pressures do you think exist for the American kid?
American kids these days? That’s a can of worms right there! My blissful childhood required homework before play, chores to warrant an allowance, and that I always show respect to any adult. I think kids in present day America can also display those qualities, but I think if we’re going to start pointing fingers: technology is to blame. Kids these days can fast forward through commercials! Enough said.

If you were to do a sales pitch about your lifestyle as an American in Washington, how would you sell it?
I just answered this for a friend who asked on Facebook, “Where should I move?” I made the best decision to follow my now-husband to DC almost ten years ago. This city has everything: culture, history, nightlife, parks, rivers, hiking, universities, concert venues, museums, four seasons of weather (usually without too much snow), quality renowned restaurants, cheap yet delicious fast food, small name businesses, large-scale government, and quality people, too! The demographics are diverse and the possibilities endless. I don’t see ourselves anywhere else and we plan to stay for a while!

Sassy!

And if you were writing an honesty column for other American gals, mothers and wives in DC, what would you say about your lifestyle?
DC is expensive. The cost of living here is not pocket change. You can get by on a comfortable income to debt ratio, however you have to be smart about it. Don’t waste your money on clothes (I should listen to myself!) and shop smart! Stay in some nights and live it up large on other evenings. You don’t need to deprive yourself to live large, but you do need to use your head.

You say on your blog that Crowning Victoria is all ‘one woman’s journey to live life like a queen’. Are you on the path to achieving this? And do you love the Queen and the royal family as much as other Americans seem to?
Every day is a step towards my throne! You only have one life, so I see it my duty to enjoy every moment as much as I can. And I could care less about the royal family (sorry). I just don’t get the hype?

Complete this sentence: Washington is…the center of it’s own tiny universe: the core of something bigger and the heart of my little world.

At Obama’s inauguration

If you could tell your high school self three bits of advice about being a wife in DC, what would they be?
1. “Slow down, you move too fast; you’ve got to make this moment last” -Simon and Garfunkel would agree 😉
2. Aim big, but don’t be disappointed when things don’t work out.
3. Eat the cake. You’ll be sad if you don’t.

Complete this sentence: Being an American is ……embarrassing at times, but mostly rewarding.

P.S. Why don’t we import Jaffa Cakes and can you help me with that?

Thanks Victoria!

Posted in Travel | Tagged 20th Century, accents, America, American history, Americans, Blog, Britain, British, church, Columbia, Coronation Street, Culture, DC, England, English, environmentally friendly, history, hocoblogs@@@, Howard County, Jaffa Cakes, laundry, lifestyle, maryland, Sunday, the Queen, The Royal Family, tumble drier, UK, USA, washing, Washington, weather | 8 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 397

Posted on April 3, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Knowing me, knowing you – aha!

America is missing something, and that thing is most excellent and needs to enjoyed.

That thing is Alan Partridge, aka Steve Coogan. America knows him for Philomena, but we Brits knew him a long time before that. Alpha Papa, the Alan Partridge movie, has just come out in the States and this is my piece about it.

Come on, America, feel the Alan Partridge love 😉

Comedy God.

Jessica’s expat tale

One of the reasons that I love to write is because of my teachers at school who recognised my love of the written word and who told me to always write*, no matter what I was writing, and thus I do, and thus you are subjected to my passion for writing on pretty much a daily basis.

(*My word, did I actually take advice from teachers at school?! It appears so.)

One such teacher was Mr Charles, who was my First Year English teacher at Wellington School in Somerset. He was a bit of a cool dude, who also coached the cross-country team and athletics squad. I still have my English books, which I wrote in Mr Charles’ class, and they are full of creative stories, journals and poetry. The late, great Mr Charles was an inspiration to me.

Mr Charles, far left, with the funky glasses. What a dude.

Anyhow, Mr Charles’ daughter, Jessica, is also a British expat in the USA and we’ve been corresponding, reminiscing about school and her dad, and commenting on various aspects of living out here by the wonders of the Interweb. I asked Jessica to share her experiences in America-land, and this is the tale of her adventures so far.

a) Jess is going to hate me for this, but she is in here somewhere!
and b) Did they really take pics in the 1980s of kids with just their swimsuits on?!! Hahahaha!

All About Jess

I have been in the USA for 10 years. I amusingly live just outside the little town of Somerset in Wisconsin! I met my husband in Mexico while I was on vacation with my girlfriends on an island called Isla Mujeres, just off the coast of Cancun. Guy had sailed over with a friend of his that has a sail boat, from Key West, hit bad weather and had to come inland for a couple of days to ride out the storm. So it was obviously meant to be!

We did the long distance thing through the summer of 2003 and then both remortgaged our houses in early 2004 and spent 8 months travelling round Europe. We went the Olympics in Athens and caught several stages of the Tour De France, just to name a couple things. Came back to the US, spent the winter in the Florida Keys and then got married the following March!

Beautiful!

As I mentioned we now live in WI, but I work in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul just over the border in Minnesota (just about half an hour away). Guy was born and bred in St.Paul then moved across the border about 20 years ago. I manage a spa and my husband works construction.

Guy built our house. We live on 5 acres which is nice as we have two border collies. We do not have any kids. I compete in agility with my dogs. So when I am not working, and it is not -20 outside, that is what I’m doing! I love the space that I get living in the States especially, I guess, because I live in the Upper Mid West. After living in London for 10 years previously it is fantastic to have room to move! I have not got used to the extreme cold here in the winters. Multiple sub zero days (that’s fahrenheit!) get old, and -40 is just down right silly! But I quite like the snow and have learnt to cross-country ski. The summers are glorious, long and hot. We have six months of winter and six months of summer here, with a couple of weeks, tops, of Fall and spring!

Jess’s house

The people here in WI, MN are very family orientated. I was struck first by the amount of people who regularly go to church versus those of us in England who go for christenings, weddings and funerals, but otherwise don’t bother!

I have conversations with my mother a lot about people in the US, and I think the reason people from England have so many problems understanding some of the things that happen here is because they do not understand the diversity here. It goes from extreme far, religious right to far, far left, The pendulum swings much further than it does in England I think. Americans are also more insular, it is not unusual for someone not to have travelled outside of the continental US and they are brought up with the ingrained belief that America is the best country in the world. This belief, in its self puts us a little apart I think, as in England we seem to have an ingrained belief that everything is a bit shit, but one “mustn’t grumble” about it!

Agility!

I obviously have American friends here, but I enjoy speaking with English people when I find them. It is true what they say about our ironic sense of humor!

To be honest I have been here for so long now that I don’t really remember food and stuff that I particularly miss apart from TWIGLETS and MARMITE!!!!!! I order Marmite from Amazon by the case, and my Mum sends me large bags of Twiglets every few months! I am also the product of my wonderful, English teacher father, and try to cling desperately to my English spelling and grammar! (Although my American spell check has annoyingly ‘corrected’ all the offending words.)

Addictive 😉

FOOTBALL will always be FOOTBALL, and American Football will always be silly. Cheerleaders are weird. American football is kinda crap rugby with silly padding, a ridiculously enormous team, and way too many stops in play. I quite like Ice Hockey though! 🙂

What a view!

I love the word sneakers, it is one of my favorite Americanisms!

Oh, and the Brits do have a better selection of crisps!

My husband was really amused by the fact that not all English houses have a dishwasher, tumble dryer etc. It is such the norm here! And he also loved the fact that in England you can park on either side of the street! It really is the little things, isn’t it!

Yes, Jess, you are definitely the product of your father! The USA is lucky to have you 🙂 .

Posted in Travel | Tagged Alan Partridge, Alpha Papa, cheerleaders, crisps, ice hockey, marmite, Minnesota, Philomena, Rugby, Somerset, Steve Coogan, Twiglets, Wellington School, Wisconsin | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 396

Posted on April 3, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Earls and Dukes

So, as you know, I am performing in a Shakespeare play in America-land.

Last night the director was discussing the role of Paris and likened him to an Earl in the English class system.

‘Claire,’ he asked me. ‘Is a Duke above an Earl?’

I stumbled here and had to think for a moment.

My response? ‘I don’t know, I’ve not had either…’ And then I gathered my [more sensible] thoughts and replied as though I knew what I was talking about. ‘Yes, a Duke is above an Earl. A Duke is in the immediate royal family, like the Duke of Edinburgh and the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and an Earl is someone who’s a bit posh, with a lot of money and goes to Eton, but is a bit thick.’

Yes, I totally generalised and stereotyped on this. And I totally don’t know if I’m right or not, but it seemed to help with the characterisation of Paris and that’s what matters 😉 .

‘Ah,’ said the director. ‘ In future we shall come to you for all things related to class.’

‘My father will be delighted,’ said I. 🙂

Paul Rudd played Paris in Baz Lurhmann’s movie, don’t ya know.

American bloggers

One of the things I’ve been doing recently is to reach out in to the American community in order to find out what it’s like for different Americans in different places in the USA. After all, there’s a whole bunch of them out there and it’s a big old country!

I chanced upon Elle, who is a ‘social butterfly’ in DC. Oh, that is a fabulous thing to be, I’m sure.

So, here’s it is – All About Elle….

About Elle
I’m an only child originally from Greenville, South Carolina. I am single and childless and 30 something (YIKES!), but I have a large extended family and awesome friends! I’ve been blogging at Southern Girl in the City since May 2010. I work as an Event and Wedding Planner in Washington, DC.

Elle being fabulous

1. Tell me a bit about growing up in the USA and what your childhood was like.

I grew up in the South, so mostly everyone was friendly, warm, and welcoming. I experienced a few issues of racism (being an African-American), but not anything so overt that it was detrimental. I went to school, went to church, was super involved in extracurricular activities all through 1st through 12th grade (something that has followed me to adulthood). I spent my summers with family in Hilton Head, SC and attended college in Tallahassee, FL.

2. You’ve lived in places across the States – how do they differ and what did you like/dislike about each of them?
In the South, people are WAY nicer, things are a little slower, and that’s where my family is. But I LOVE DC due to all of the activities that are here, all of the cultural things one can do. Plus, DC is just a Mega Bus ride away from NYC. And I love DC because you have people from all over and there are so many different cultures that you can learn about. In SC when I was growing up, most of the people were either black or white. I have met people from all over the world since I’ve moved here, which has given me the opportunity to look outside of my own world and to open my eyes to so many different things. My major gripe with DC is the traffic and the parking, which I’m sure is felt by most of the people who live in the area.

3. If you were to do a sales pitch about your lifestyle as an American in Washington, how would you sell it?
Oh, wow, that is so hard! If you want to be an independent go-getter who has the world at their fingertips, then DC is the place for you!

Glamour/glamor in DC

4. And if you were writing an honesty column for other American gals, what would you say about your lifestyle?
I love my life. Though there are moments when I wish things were a little different, I realize that I am living the life God has ordained for me to become the person I need to be.

5. Tell us about you being a ‘social butterfly’ and your jobs. What does that mean and how does it work?
One of my sorority sisters once told me “you’ve never met a stranger”, which I think is true. Due to my outgoing personality, I always befriend people wherever I go, be it work or play. I always look for an organization to join or somewhere I can volunteer my time, even organizations with the companies I’ve worked for. It’s in my nature to be busy and to always do something. Currently, I volunteer with First Book-DC, Michelle in Training, the DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and the DC Black Theater Festival. I am also a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

6. Complete this sentence: Washington is…..
A melting pot of amazingly diverse people.

DC gals!

7. If you could tell your high school self three bits of advice about being a ‘girl about town’ what would they be?
Do what makes you happy, make sure you have amazing friends, and always take care of yourself!

8.Complete this sentence: Being an American is…..
something that is hard to explain.

🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged African-American, America, Americans, Blog, Britain, British, class system England, Culture, DC, diversity, florida, hocoblogs@@@, lifestyle, NYC, Paris, Paul Rudd, Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare, social butterfly, South Carolina, Southern Girl in the City, Thoughts, UK, USA, Washington DC | Leave a comment

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 395

Posted on April 2, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

My British accent

I’ve not been overly conscious of my British accent in the USA before now. In groups of Americans, I just chat and that is that. Sometimes, when I make a call, I feel like letting the person on the other end of the phone have their internal moment of ‘Oh, it’s a British accent’ by starting the conversation with ‘Yes, I’m British, so have your time to adjust to that and then let’s talk’ but generally it is what it is and I’m a Brit in the USA, after all.

But just these past few days I have been very conscious of my British accent, and the setting almost warrants a nod towards irony. It’s during rehearsals for the Shakespeare play which I’m performing in. I’m the only Brit among a most excellent and hugely talented American cast for Romeo and Juliet and the strangest thing is that I have suddenly become very conscious about my British accent.

It stands out, and when the rest of the cast and delivering the Bard’s iambic pentameter superbly in their American accents, mine just sounds….well, it just sounds very, very British and a little out-of-place. How funny/ironic is that?

All I’m telling myself is that at some point Lady Capulet must have had her own expat experience. 😉

The play.

Guest Post by Betsy Transatlantically

Meet Betsy, 27, who has a foot in both the UK and the USA. She writes her blog Besty Transatlantically, is based in DC, loves Boden clothes, and is married to a Brit.

You have a foot in both UK and the USA – tell us about that.
I moved to London for my MA in autumn 2008 having visited England half a dozen times before – I knew I’d have a wonderful experience but I didn’t expect it to become “home” so quickly or completely! Of course, having married an Englishman helps tie me to the country, too. I’ve been back in Washington, DC for nearly two years now and Jon and I will be living in America for the foreseeable future, but the plan is to eventually move back to England and settle down there permanently!

Betsy

What are the main differences between you and your English spouse?
To be honest, many of the American/English differences between Jon and me can also be explained as girl/boy differences – I’m talkative and direct and I like to share personal stories, and he’s quieter and more subtle and definitely places a higher premium on privacy than I do!

Tell me 3-5 things you would take to the UK from the USA.
If I could, I’d bring American customer service over to the UK! Also, like every other American expat on the other side of the pond, I wish you guys had proper American tumble dryers. Otherwise, though, I wouldn’t bring anything over – part of the fun of living somewhere else is actually getting used to a different way of life, you know?

And 3-5 things you think the USA should implement from the UK.
Pub culture! I miss pubs – and especially pub gardens when the weather is nice. There’s just something about sitting outside in the sun (even if you still need a jacket!) for hours over a few pints and a bowl of chips. I also love rugby, so I’m excited to see that the US as a country is starting to get more into that.

British Betsy!

What are the main cultural differences between the UK and the USA that you feel separate us?
My answer here is probably more political than it needs to be, but I think our main cultural differences come from how we see ourselves on a world stage. The British seem to carry the responsibility that comes from partnership when they interact with other countries, whereas Americans are, as we have historically been, more isolationist which means we interact with other nations and nationalities in a much more “us v. them” way.

If you had to do an elevator pitch to promote lifestyle in the USA, what would you say?
This is a hard one! I actually don’t know. I might say something about achieving the American dream, but in this economy – even though it is improving – and with this useless Congress… I don’t know, honestly!

Complete this sentence. Washington DC is…
….driven, rooted in history, optimistic about the future

Complete this sentence. London is….
…moody, vibrant.

Betsy at her wedding

When you were in London what felt strange and what really frustrated you?
Not much for either! There was a period of assimilation, yes, but at a certain point you just have to get on with life when you’re an expat. There’s no point in wallowing in the strange or the frustrating aspects of living in another country, especially if you’re an expat by choice like I was.

When you arrived back in the USA did you find some American things began to feel strange or frustrating?
Reverse culture shock is definitely real – the first time I went grocery shopping in the States after moving back, I almost had a breakdown when confronted with an entire aisle of peanut butter options! But again, the more you dive into your new life the more real it will become and the less you’ll feel out-of-place and/or frustrated by the differences.

Thanks Betsy! 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged accents, America, American accent, Americans, Betsy Transatlantically, Blog, Boden clothes, Britain, British, British accent, Chesapeake Shakespeare Company, CHiPs, Culture, English, expat, expats, hocoblogs@@@, iambic pentameter, irony, Lady Capulet, language, lifestyle, London, pubs, Romeo and Juliet, Rugby, Shakespeare, The Bard, Travel, UK, USA, Washington | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 394

Posted on March 31, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

Austin, Texas

I like to think I’m a little quirky, dress a little differently and wotnot. But in Austin, I felt pretty normal and, shock horror, conservative. Austin stood out because of its eccentricities, and very proud of them the Austin folk are.

Austin felt like a city in complete contrast to much of Maryland, because (and apologies to my Maryland friends, but I think of you as fairly conservative in the way you dress – with the exception of a few kooky folk out there) there was not really a suit to be seen. Austin is a fascinating place to people watch – my favourite by far being the 20-something dude who sauntered round the corner with a wooden stake through his nose, a mass of dreads on his head tied together by lace panties, a polka dot bow tie and a striped candy cane walking stick. That, folks, is Austin. Weird. In a good way.

😉

Yep, Austin thrives on being cultural and quirky – in fact, its slogan is this:

Sure thing!

And wonderfully weird it was. 6th Street is like the super weird place, with super weird bars and music places and graffiti. It was like you’d hope Glastonbury town to be (which it isn’t, believe me, because there are too many Icelands and Greggs the bakers plaguing the high street).

And there were no cowboys in sight!

Anyway, this is what I liked about weird Austin:

Austin

Uber cool

Not a cowboy in sight!

You can ride this…..

….but these are the rules 🙂

A general Texas notice outside a bar

Kind of creepy

Music is big in Austin – and British music too!

Harry got weird in Austin. 🙂

Alternative Art Show

Weird Moment 1: We were watching a lady in a leopard print costume and tail twirling her hoola-hoop outside an art studio and got summoned in for free drinks and tapas and to participate in art. And so we did. Harry happily painted himself and stuck his hand print all over a piece of public art – yes, they did encourage it, but even Austin wouldn’t have handled his other request for painting bodily parts……

This was a modern, alternative, quirky art show Austin-style, made even more quirky and weird by the dancing lady gyrating in chains and leather in the studio, looking like an extra from Game of Thrones.

Whilst I jest, it was all pretty amazeballs and very, very cool. Again, I felt like I had on far too many clothes, not enough tattoos and needed to express myself in someway through the medium of art, fashion or music. But I drank the free wine instead.

Harry gets arty in Austin

Public art. Weird and cool.

The Game of Thrones dancing arty lady

Getting arty-farty in Austin

And then there’s the bats under the bridge. That’s pretty weird and cool too, as they all fly out at sunset. Spooky.

Under the bridge watching the bats

Texas hail

Finally, I can confirm that things in Texas are bigger. Like the hail – effing massive! One brief hailstorm brought down hail the size of eggs falling out of the sky – I’m not kidding! Those buggers would knock you out in seconds! Ginormous, they were!

Posted in Travel | Tagged 6th Street, America, American, Americans, Austin, Austin art, Austin bats, Austin fashion, Austin music, Baltimore, Blog, Britain, British, British music, Culture, dreadlocks, expat, Glastonbury, Greggs the bakers, hailstorm, hocoblogs@@@, Keep Austin Weird, kooky Austin, lifestyle, maryland, quirky Austin, suit, Texas, UK, USA | 4 Comments

Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 393

Posted on March 30, 2014 by ukdesperatehousewifeusa

British Pub

I forgot to mention the British pub in San Antonio in the last blog chapter. There it was on the riverwalk, complete with British bulldog, post box and….girls in short skirts and knee-high socks and black boots. For one moment, I was afronted. Is that how they think us British girls dress?! And then I stopped myself and remembered that back in 1990/91 that was pretty much my going out clubbing attire, and it looked pretty trashy then, as it does now. So, all in all, I guess they got it spot on 😉

Classy… 😉

Men really do walk around in cowboy hats

They do. That is all I have to say about that. 😉

Gruene, cowboy town

I liked Gruene a lot. It sits in Texas Hill Country and has an interesting history.

Arriving in Texas in the mid 1840s, German farmers became the first settlers of the town. Ernst Gruene, a German immigrant, and his bride Antoinette, had reached the newly established city of New Braunfels in 1845, but acreage was scarce. Thus, Ernst and his two sons purchased land just down river, and Ernst built the first home in Gruene in early ‘fachwerk’ style. His second son, Henry D. Gruene, built his home (now Gruene Mansion Inn) and planted his surrounding land with cotton. Having become the number one cash crop, the cotton business soon brought 20 to 30 families to Henry D.’s lands.

And I very much liked meeting the cowboy in black, I liked the rustic spit and sawdust bar and gnarly wooden tables and I liked the music loads.

I was rather taken with the Tom Gillam band the Kosmic Messengers and wished I could have stayed all night to watch them. I liked their banter, the stories in the music and the whole rock ‘n’ roll and country vibe.

Take a look at the footage I shot:

Cowboy hat vs tribly

I had the notion that I would replace my Marks and Spencer’s ‘cowboy’ hat bought in the UK with an authentic cowboy hat in Texas. But, I didn’t see one that I liked 😦 and spent most of my time walking around in my trilby-style hat, which, when you are in a cowboy bar feels a little inadequate, or as my other half said: ‘Like someone cut off the rim of your hat.’ 😉

How to say ‘lasso’

I did learn a very important cowboy pronunciation. The word ‘lasso’ is not pronounced, as we say, ‘lassoo’, cos there are not two ‘o’s, but one. And so it is simply ‘lass-oh’. So now you know.

Signs on the freeway

I love spotting great big billboards on the freeway in the States – it feels very American, and they kind of make me laugh. These are some of my favourites: