Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 618

Searching for bodies and tutoring kids

Well that’s a heading for a blog I never imagined writing!

Today was one of those eclectic, ‘only in America’ days today.

Firstly, I went to a photoshoot for a Learning Center/Centre in Crofton MD for their new prospectus. My role for the shoot was as a tutor of the school for little kids and big kids.

I took my British PR clothes because that is what I have and it’s all pretty cool and funky and smart and sassy. But, evidently, not appropriate for an American education center’s tutor to wear. With immediate effect my wardrobe was sent flying to the floor, and they promptly rushed about to find me the worst beige ensemble I have ever placed on my body. Ever. I mean – BEIGE!

Look how beige and 'appropriate' I am! And so uncomfortable! ;)

Look how beige and ‘appropriate’ I am! And so uncomfortable! 😉

And, yes, another Dr Oz stylie jacket to cover my shoulders and arms (blog reminder about THAT incident here!). Sigh. It was deemed appropriate for the photoshoot and everyone breathed a sigh of relief that this mischievous Brit had not wrecked their entire shoot as Bad Teacher’s Cameron Diaz – well, not quite, but I think I might as well have! 😉

Yeah, I think I might have been pushing my luck with looking like that.....

Yeah, I think I might have been pushing my luck with looking like that…..

I tutored the kids for the camera, actually giving one of the kids a real geography lesson about the UK, Great Britain and Europe. Naturally, I started with ‘and here’s LONDON’ so that they could get their bearings…. 😉

Second up, I spent the afternoon being an extra for the show Nightmare Next Door which airs on the Investigation Discovery Channel. It was a super fun vibe on set today, albeit we were hunting for dead bodies in the Patapsco State Park.

Howdy doody!

Howdy doody!

I have to reel off a few things about being an extra on set today that tickled me….

1. Four out of the six people who asked me where I’m from thought I was from Australia. Go figure.

2. When I told a chap I was from Bath, England, he said he didn’t know it. I told him it was a Roman city. He asked if everyone walked around with swords and helmets. I do believe he was joking!

3. It is June and it was frigging cold out there in the woods and we were supposed to look hot. We may not have conveyed that terribly well!

4. These extra folk are gold. They’re like ‘Ooh, I recognise you from when we were on….[insert House of Cards, VEEP, another Investigation Discovery show] together’ and then we all share our Kevin Spacey / Robin Wright / Julia Louis Dreyfus stories and the time we spoke a line or got good face time on the show and discuss shoots with reference to what the crew ordered for lunch (for instance ‘Oh that was the day we got Chipotle – that was a good day 🙂 ‘. Love this stuff! On set as an extra is a little community all of its own and it’s pretty special.

The extras just hanging, waiting for our sheriff briefing!

The extras just hanging, waiting for our sheriff briefing!

Besties on set!

Besties on set!

In our search gear :)

In our search gear 🙂

5. Lots of people try and do the British accent. I always tell them to practice the word ‘brilliant’ and I can see them trying when they’re off camera. Bless their hearts!

And that was my American day today.


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3 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 618

  1. Maryjen says:

    You are CRAZY!!!!

  2. iota says:

    Did you say “and here’s London… That’s London, England…”?

    “Brilliant” is a great word for Americans to practise. I used to suggest “mirror” (mir-ah seems very hard for those used to saying “meeeeeeerrrrrrrrerrrrrrrrr”).

    Glad you had such a fun time (except for the beige – and don’t they have some name for beige over there? Can’t remember… Oh yes, don’t they call it “taupe?”)

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