Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 597

Orange and purple are the new black in Maryland

The other day I wore an orange top here in the USA. If you wear an orange top in Maryland people immediately assume you’re doing it to support the Orioles baseball team. I was just wearing it cos it enhanced my tan. Fact.

So this young fit dude in the gym says to me: ‘You wearing that top today for the Orioles?’

And I say: ‘Er, nope…..’

And then I ask: ‘Why is it some kind of special day….?’

And he mutters back incredulously something like: ‘It’s only the first day of the season, duh.’

And then we went our separate cultural ways.

Same goes with a purple top. I like my purple top, and I don’t wear it to show support for the Ravens [American] football team. It just like it, that is all, and it happens to be purple 😉

Orange and purple are the new black round these parts!

Orange and purple are the new black round these parts!

Peep Shows

Also, during this time of year apparently ‘Peep Shows’ are a thing – a thing that I did not know about.

So this conversation went like this with a lady whom I teach class to:

‘We took the family to a Peep Show at the weekend.’

‘OMG! Did you! Where was that!?’

“Up by [I actually can’t remember because at this point I was frothing with amazement and excitement that she had taken her grandchildren to a Peep Show]…..’

‘Wow, I didn’t know they had them here!’

‘You know what a Peep Show is right?’

‘Well, er, yes, I’ve been to one in Amsterdam on a hen weekend….’

‘Okay, well this is a show displaying hundreds of marshmallow masterpieces! Like Peeps, the candy…. you know….’

‘Ah, so it’s not porn then?’

“No, it’s marshmallows….’

And I turned my blushing British face away and pressed play on the iPod.

You can mix the two up - see!

You can mix the two up – see!

The benefits of a British accent

I can’t express enough how kind America has been to me. Just yesterday I got a call from a PR agency in NYC asking me to present on a TV show cos they like the way I speak. Am I going to do it? Bloody right I am! Land of opportunity and all that! Bring it on!

This entry was posted in American, American customs, British, British American differences, culture, expat, Maryland, Travel and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 597

  1. Mindy Helms says:

    Bravo! You rock!!!

  2. Shauna Vargas says:

    Lol @ “hen weekend” cuz you know we Americans picture actual hens when you say that. See, it goes both ways 😂

  3. Rebecca says:

    Congratulations Claire! You get to be famous and we American audiences get to hear a lovely British accent–a win-win! 🙂

  4. Let me introduce myself. My name is Karen. I’m an American living in Chicago married to one of your own compatriots. Claire, you should have said, “Peep Show! I love Robert Webb and David Mitchell!”

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