Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 570

Basketball courts

It has been pointed out to me that American basketball courts are, if looked upon at the correct angle, mildly amusing.

Snigger like school children if you will. 🙂

Tee hee

Tee hee

The Real Desperate Housewives of Howard County

It’s been two years since I last played the Desperate Housewife parlor game Bunco in the USA (read about that fun experience here 🙂 )and such an evening as this is a fabulous insight into a decadent world of marvellously gregarious and humorous women, wine consumption, padded toilet seats and flamingo-in-the-yard happy hours.

I think that possibly the two that need explaining are padded toilet seats and  flamingo-in-the-yard happy hours….

1. Padded toilet seats. I’ve never had such a comfy wee break as I had on this squishy toilet seat in this plush palatial McMansion bathroom. I kind of wished I’d needed to stay there longer. There were extravagant light fittings that flashed and music to keep me entertained. That was a special loo pitstop, I can tell you.

Kind of like this!

Kind of like this!

2.  Flamingo-in-the-yard happy hours. Apparently this is something that happens in the Desperate Housewife neighbourhood on a Friday lunchtime. Whoever places this plastic flamingo in their front yard is the one having the happy hour at their house that week and all the Desperate Housewives keep an eye out for it and when they spot it they pile on over for drinkies until the school buses drop off their kids and then they return sozzled to their McMansions, or those who are empty-nesters or just don’t have kids carry on drinking until the small hours, smug in the knowledge they don’t have to get up for swim team practice or whatever other activities are on the never-ending schedule of organised fun.

Flamingo double shot happy hour!

Flamingo double shot happy hour!

What fun!

Medical bills so far in the USA

$15,674 smackeroonies.

That’s how much we’ve ‘spent’ via our insurance for doctors’ and dentists’ bills in 2 1/2 years. Interestingly, it’s pretty much equivalent to the same amount we’d pay over the same length of time for UK National Insurance contributions.

None of that is due to the three of us being overly sick or indulging in decadent with dentistry, so I can’t imagine how many people manage to maintain any form of private health insurance in the USA when in order to get access medical assistance and health you need money. But that’s going down a political route, and I know you folks don’t want that in this blog!

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