Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 492

Poems about America and Britain

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was laughing.

Why was I laughing?

Because I had made up some poems / limericks about the differences between America and Britain and they had amused me greatly.

Damn it, though, I’ll be buggered if I can remember any of them now 😦

I think, however, a couple of them went something like this….


Americans drive like they don’t give a hoot
But don’t get angry, otherwise they will shoot
British folks drive with a wave and smile
But inside they’re raging for the next half a mile.

Road rage....

Road rage….


Hey USA, they say it’s not the size that counts
But tell that to the chefs who give you massive amounts
In the UK we simply have three helpings of roast dinners
And sit smug at the table, thinking we are the winners.




American sport is all whoop, clap and cheer
Have a foam finger, a hot dog and beer
In the UK we nibble on strawberries and cream
And start up the fight with the other footie team.

The finger

The finger


You say bathroom or restroom and poop
And the doors have no edges so anyone can snoop
We Brits like a poo in the loo, or a wee
And our humour is ‘toilet’, as you can see πŸ™‚



Look, I’m no Ted Hughes, and I’m sure they scanned much better and were infinitely funnier when I woke up last night, but that’s the long and the short of my poetic ability.

Happy Sunday! πŸ™‚

P.S. If you have any limericks or poems to add, please share!

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2 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 492

  1. Andy says:

    Every one a winner. Could we be looking at the next Poet Laureate of the UK?

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