OMG, I totes forgot to tell a California roadtrip story from July.
It went like this, as we were coming out of Santa Barbara to Carmel.
Husband: ‘Look at all those signs saying that the California Highway Patrol are out on the roads today.’
Me: ‘Oooh, CHiPs! Cool! I hope we get pulled over.’
Twenty minutes later…..
Me: ‘Uh oh, that cop car just spotted you speeding.’ [Looking in the mirror]. ‘Yep, he’s totally behind you. Yes, he has his sirens on. Oh yes! [Excited now] He’s pulling us over! Can I take a picture?’
Hubby: ‘No you bloody well can’t.’
Anyway, the long and the short of it was that we weren’t going THAT fast and the cop had been to the UK and so we had a lovely natter in our best British accents, and, along with the fact that I was wearing my Daisy Dukes at the time and had purposefully put my legs up on the dashboard (excellent distraction technique 😉 ), we got a warning, but no ticket.
And, sadly, I didn’t get a picture.
Being a Housewife in the USA
Sometimes, when the sun isn’t shining and I’m not gadding about doing super fun UK Desperate Housewife USA things, I have to be a proper housewife and actually clean the house, which I am not very good at. Fact.
This isn’t as easy as it sounds in the USA. This is mainly owing to the fact that I have carpets (unlike at home, where we have laminate flooring – ahem, I mean proper oak 😉 ).
It’s also because of the electricity here. It makes the hoover totally rubbish and it picks nothing up whatsover. My dad tried to fix it whilst he was here, but the long and the short of it is that because of the electricity power surge wotnot being less than back home that vacuum cleaner isn’t doing what it should. I’ve given up on the American one and resorted to my British one.
In addition, I have tried and tried to work out what American household cleaners do what to get stains off the carpets, but none seem to do the job. Oh, how I miss my easy-to-clean laminate (read as ‘real solid oak’ 😉 ) floors back in the UK.
Anyway, these are my top tips for other UK Desperate Housewives in the USA!
Enough of This Mess — Cleaning Hacks for a Happy Home
Some people just hate having to clean. It might be nice to keep a tidy house and it might be satisfying to see everything sparkling, but the actual act of cleaning can be enough to bring some people out in cold sweats! (Sound familiar, Desperadoes?!) What I have found is that you can keep some of the mess under control with a Dyson Hoover (British made, don’t ya know!) to ease the pressure, but what about all the places a vacuum can’t reach? Hoorah for British hoovers!
Here are a few top cleaning hacks that can make your life easier come your cleaning day!
For a cleaner kitchen
It’s really important to keep the kitchen pristine if you are a Desperate Housewife. But it’s also one of the toughest rooms to do this in! A whole colony of grease and dust can build up on your kitchen cabinets if you’re not careful, but here’s a great tip to get rid of it. Using vegetable oil and baking soda you can scrub the gunk off your cabinets with a toothbrush to get them looking good as new. How cool is that?!
And when it comes to burnt pans, why not try boiling some rhubarb in there? How utterly lovely and British rhubarb is! The acid from the rhubarb will clean off those ghastly black stains leaving your pan sparkling.
Grease – and lint-free clothing
No sooner have you lifted your fork and the food has slipped off on to your clothes, leaving big greasy stains that the washing machine just won’t get out and that’s no way for a Desperate Housewife to look. The best (and cheapest) way to get rid of grease stains? Rub white chalk over the top of them. Chalk has near-magical absorbing properties and will leave your clothes looking good as new! Fact!
Another annoying thing, or rather things, are those tiny lint balls that collect on jumpers and cotton t-shirts making them look old and worn before their time. To get rid of these, take a disposable razor and shave ‘em off! It’s simple, it’s cheap and it’s very effective. Go on, grab your hubby’s now and give it a go!
Dispensing with pesky pet hair
Love them as we do, cats and dogs tend to leave our homes dripping with yucky looking hair. I should know, I brought my cats over from the USA and their cat hair is all over my American carpets! If you have pets and your vacuum isn’t getting everything up off the carpet, get a handy squeegee and run it over the floor. You’ll be left with a large, easy to remove ball of hair and a clean carpet. That is a top tip that would earn you 10 excellent British pounds in the Woman’s Own advice column.
So there you have it, a few top cleaning tips to keep your house and you feeling and looking fresh just like in Wysteria Lane! With the help of these and your best British vacuum cleaner, you can keep the mess at bay for longer.
Now breathe… isn’t that better!?
And go and put the kettle on! 😉