Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 435

Today in the USA

1. It’s v v v v v hot. So hot, they cancelled the After-School Track and Field Event. Yes, it’s that hot.

I have to keep remembering to talk in farenheit and not in celsius, so sorry when I get it wrong Americana folk. It can be confusing, I know.

Danger, danger, high voltage!

Danger, danger, high voltage!

2. The World Cup still continues. If you read my recent post at Lost in the Pond, you would have seen that I came up with some ingenious ideas for World Cup Widows during this dark time, when man is lost to the all-consuming world of football and when Nothing Else Matters.

Here are some more World Cup Widow tips to get you through the next few weeks….

a) If you want to confuse USA guests who might be watching the England game at your house, try pouring beer from a teapot into tea cups, with saucers and a little silver spoon, of course. Tell them this is a tradition when the World Cup is on in honour of Queen and country.
b) Ask your guests to help themselves to anything from the fridge. Make sure you have put some food colouring in test tubes and leave them in the fridge with labels on like ‘Magic Potion for Wart and Hair Removal’ and ‘Magic Potion for Enhanced Sex Drive’ and ‘Magic Potion for Turning Small Children into Toads‘, or even ‘Magic Potion to Make Americans Spell Words with a U’.
c) Make some money from the World Cup by coming downstairs when the game is on dressed as a ‘shot girl’ and supply shots to his friends at $5 a pop. This will make you very rich and very popular ๐Ÿ˜‰

These are shot girls

These are shot girls

3. USA schools finish this week. That’s a LONG summer. In the UK the kiddiwinks only get 6 weeks. Here it’s like an eternity. Anyway, hoorah for Summer Camps, the perfect way for everyone to spend much of the summer holibobs! That, and a trip to California ๐Ÿ˜‰


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3 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 435

  1. Andy says:

    Enjoy the summer! And the shot girl thing is a winner!

  2. yay to California ๐Ÿ™‚

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