Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 430

Things Americans speak of that I do not know about

Fact: I have not been to several of the shops and restaurants that Americans talk of.

Why? Well, the truth is that I don’t really want to spend my time in lots of shops during my stay here. And the restaurants – well, hey, they’re generally chains and I’m an indie lover! (Except for Denny’s. I love me a Denny’s.)

These are the shops that people speak about and which I have not been in yet and am, therefore, basically making uninformed, very British, and very personal judgments on. Cos I can. Cos it’s my blog 😉

Michaels – this is a craft shop, apparently. Since I can’t even sew up a hole in sock, there appears to be reason whatsoever for me to go in this shop.

Costco – this is a shop where you buy stuff in bulk, which, whilst being incredibly economical, does not appeal to me, since I am now trying to use things up for when we haul our arses back to the UK, and I really don’t want 72 jars of mayonnaise to get rid of next July.

BJs – whilst this shop makes me giggle (because in my head I am still an adolescent school girl), it appears to be the same as Costco. Except not as nice, apparently.

Kohl’s – this is a department store. It sells stuff like clothes and bedding and furniture. I get lots of discount coupons for Kohl’s, but to be honest, I went online and tapped into their search engine my fave brand of clothes and they don’t have it, so bugger that for a laugh.

Marshall’s – there is much debate online (yes, really, there is) about which of the three stores – Kohl’s, Marshall’s or TJ Maxx – is better. So that means, I am surmising, that Marshall’s is similar to Kohl’s. (Although I did comment on a lady’s workout top the other day and she said it was from Marshall’s, so that’s one to bear in mind.)

TJ Maxx – just like the one in England, but with a J instead of a K, and I have no idea why.

Chuck E Cheese – there are so, so many reasons why I have not been to this restaurant. I repeat – so, so many.

I’m just putting this picture here so you can work out why….

Never. Ever.

Never. Ever.

Sonic – this is a carhop restaurant, where the basic idea is this: you don’t get out of your car and someone on roller skates precariously brings you loads of really bad food, and then you press a button and order some more. And eat it in you car.

Walmart – look, I actually have been to this store, but to this day I wish I had never stepped foot in one. It was a bloody nightmare! So, for the purpose of this blog post I am pretending I haven’t. Am I a snob?!! Maybe…it’s just not my cup of tea! And it’s nothing to do with the People of Walmart site which takes a gentle poke at some of the folk who shop there. It’s more to do with the fact that I went in to get some fruit and veges and there were NONE. Just rows and rows of sugar-filled candy crap. (And other stuff, of course, but I couldn’t really see past the candy crap.)

And that’s all I have to say about that.

If I am missing out on something, though, please share with me and I’ll be there in a flash! 🙂

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12 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 430

  1. Mindy Helms says:

    You pretty much nailed it! 🙂

  2. Andrew Kanicki says:

    Costco is like heaven! I must take you. The Costco in Pentagon City is very “chi-chi”. I bought a Burberry cashmere car coat there for $250. Also, they have an amazing selection of wine and whatnot. Marshall’s is different from Kohls. Like TJ Maxx, it sells last seasons merchandise at a great discount. Personally, I prefer Nordstrom Rack. Wal Mart….hmm. It’s just gross.

  3. Walmart was the first shop we wanted to go to but there are none near us so that’s that. It’s a pretty good thing to have on your resume that you’ve lived in America and never been to Walmart.

  4. Okay, it’s a date Andrew! 🙂

  5. Marci Gower says:

    Kohls is not like TJ Maxx or Marshall’s, both whom sell close out merchandise. Vera Wang actually designs a midline range for Kohl’s. It’s somewhere in between Target & JC Penneys.

  6. Maryjenmary says:

    You’re right not to focus on shopping at these places. You can pretty much get all the same stuff somewhere in England or on line. America is about what’s outside with so much space and so many natural wonders and different lifestyles and things to do in the sunshine or snow. That’s what I eat up here and I go to Britain for other things, including food, old buildings, shopping and beautiful, but smaller scale, unique natural beauty. I love both countries but for different things.

  7. Sally says:

    Do you know if Denny’s still do ham & egg on a bap called “moons over my hammy” . Or is it just in Florida!

  8. I think they do, Sally! 🙂

  9. VictoriaK says:

    A kindred spirit! We lived in DC for twenty years and with the exception of Michael’s (I was a Girl Scout leader), I can’t say that I shopped in any of the stores, either. Didn’t want bulk food; and Nordstrom carried all my favorite brands (have you been?) so there was no need to bother shopping elsewhere. Ditto for all the chain restaurants with their grossly ginormous portions.

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