Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 258

Letter from the residents’ association

Now, my friend was telling me that she got a letter from the Stepford Wives’ residents’ association (actually, I don’t think it was from the Stepford Wives, but it might as well have been).

She was told that her house was not conforming to the standards of the neighbourhood. This amused me greatly. Really? It all looks pretty tickety-boo to me.

Anyhow, this was the check list that she needed to get amended before the next visitation by a woman with a clipboard….

– The wheelbarrow needs to be put into storage and not by the side of the house
– The plant pots by the side of the house need to be removed
– The guttering needs to be fixed
– And, the best one – the side of the house is a little bit dirty and needs cleaning.

I look pictorial evidence of said crimes.

Here they are:

Outrageous! Plants pots! How common!

Outrageous! Plants pots! How common!

The offending and unsightly wheelbarrow :(

The offending and unsightly wheelbarrow 😦

The dirty wall. Shackle thee up.

The dirty wall. Shackle thee up.

Anyway, I gently mock these people who ensure that the houses in this area of Howard County looks so marvellously spic and span. But, really…..a letter about your plant pots?!

I’ve got a Scooby Doo bucket full of dead crabs from the Chesapeake on my front lawn, so I can’t wait for my letter … 😉

Highland Fair

I love little Highland, a town so small and delicious I could eat it up in one bite!

Today was their annual Fall fair, and one that I had been looking forward to as a real slice of American pie, and it did not disappoint. The town was adorned with pumpkins and hay-rides, Halloween houses, crab cakes, pie-eating contests and free wine tasting, which was obviously totally super-dooper.

Highland, a little American town with a big history

Highland, a little American town with a big history

Pumpkins galore!

Pumpkins galore!

A female scarecrow - how modern!

A female scarecrow – how modern!

I heart Denny’s

I have a confession to make. I’m a bit in love with a restaurant diner called Denny’s. Yes, I know! Chastise me all you want, but there’s why I love it:

1. The ‘diner’ attracts a rich melting pot of Americans – all types of people eat in Denny’s and it’s just fantastic for people watching.
2. The food is pretty reasonably priced and damn, it tastes good! When you want a $7.99 pot roast in the comfort of a booth with no fuss, Denny’s is your place.
3. The manager always has to come over and say hi, and it’s like he totally loves working there – that goes for all the staff. They are so cheery!
4. It reminds me of Happy Eaters in the UK from the 1980s, which was a big treat for us back in those days. Yes, really it was.
5. They are often near Holiday Inn Express hotels, which makes me feel like I am on my holibobs.

You and me are going to be hanging out when I can find you, Denny.

You and me are going to be hanging out when I can find you, Denny.

There, I’ve said it. I love Denny’s. 🙂

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11 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 258

  1. Did you get the Moons Over My Hammy at my Denny’s? My fave is called The Crack of Dawn. Always gave me a wee chuckle because my sister is called Dawn.

  2. *please omit the “my” before Denny’s.

  3. Kevin I says:

    I am totally using tickety-boo at the next earliest opportunity.

    Side note, Phil and I did the “architectural review” for one of the streets on our community this year. I see the value in it for people who otherwise don’t maintain their homes, but these examples are just nitpicking.

  4. VictoriaK says:

    Before our community went to single-stream recycling, there were people (volunteers, I believe) who would troll the neighborhood and place bright pink stickers on your green bin if, egads!, you had the “wrong” kind of plastic in your bin, to remind you of how to recycle properly. I would love to have that much free time on my hands.

    Since it’s confession time, I will admit that I love, love, love the fried chicken and peach cobbler at Golden Corral. Once a year, when we would take one child or the other to UVA’s summer academic camp, stopping there for lunch was a highlight. The closest one to you is in Manassas–you should give it a try. Excellent people watching, too.

  5. Turf lover says:

    I absolutely love Denny’s. Always will. God bless the Monte Cristo.

  6. liveworktravelusa says:

    Your friend’s HOA seems to be as picky as mine is. I got a few letters from them too about the lawn not being cut on time or the trash can being visible on the side of the house. It needs to be covered up. I did mow my lawn, but the trash can is still where it is. The houses in my neighborhood all look so darn similar, that you kinda have to do something out of the ordinary to find your own place after work. I accidentally drove by my own house before and my wife saw it. Embarrassing… 😉

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