Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 233

Martin gets rattled

Hot Gov. Martin O’Malley ain’t happy. Who with? Republican Texas Gov. Rick Perry.

“I know from past experience that the gentleman is all hat and no cattle,” O’Malley told the Washington Post prior to the Maryland Democratic Party gala in Greenbelt on Thursday night.

Rick Perry

Rick Perry

Perry has rattled Martin by appearing in radio ads trying to lure businesses to Texas by criticizing states such as Maryland, California and Missouri as having high taxes and too much regulation.

Taxes are high – we often comment/moan about it. Tax on your bill, tax for alcohol.

That aside, what intrigued me was the phrase – is this a well used American phrase ‘all hat and no cattle’? Or is just used against a Texan?

We Brits use ‘all mouth and no trousers’. Perhaps I could apply that one to Martin and see what happens then….? 😉

Martin, time to drop your taxes - and your pants....?

Martin, time to drop your taxes – and your pants….?

New school bus stop

Just look where they’re picking up the kids from now in America! Or is the driver having a quick stop off?

What's going on here then?

What’s going on here then?

Rennfest 2013

Last year we touched on Rennfest briefly. I liked it a lot. It’s all set in wood, with proper little houses and castles and jousting arenas and there is mead and cider and we are surrounded by pirates and knights and wenches. This year I would describe it as Game of Thrones meets Henry VIII.

Defo Game of Thrones

Defo Game of Thrones

See what I'm saying?!

See what I’m saying?!

Anyhoo, these are my Rennfest 2013 observations:

1. I did not know that jousting was the official sport of Maryland. Harry is disappointed this is not on the school curriculum. We witnessed some fierce and most excellent jousting.

The jousting arena hots up

The jousting arena hots up

2. There are A LOT of mock English accents going on. People are ‘English’ for a day. One little man dressed in green stood behind me in a queue and spoke thus, ‘Excuse me mi lady, I was just seeking a place to rest my staff.’ At first I thought he had mastered British innuendo rather brilliantly, but then I realised he ‘was in character’ and was just being a sort of peasant person at the bar. People keep in character all day and it much amused me to hear them struggle through a sentence in their accents, which they have been working on all year, no doubt, and then us to easily and nonchalantly reply in REAL English ones. They looked right miffed, I can tell you!

Authentic or not?

Authentic or not?

3. People in character have pretend conversations with each other. Heard outside the ‘Privees’ – ‘And what hath thou been up to all day, wench?’ ‘I hath been cooking and cleaning, m’lord.’ ‘Ah, good wench thou are.’ Etc. Gave me the giggles, that did.

These two actually gave a cute performance

These two actually gave a cute performance

4. I felt like the Gok Wan of the Renaissance world. This is because some women overdo the undergarments and their breasticles are practically touching their chin/s. High like a shelf some of them were, bouncing all over the place. One does not know where to put one’s eyes. Anyhow, these ladies with fearsome boobs are a darn sight better than the women who choose not wear any undergarments at all. These ones just look like udders and flop about in an unsightly way, with all sorts nearly popping out. It might be authentic, but next year Rennfest needs to get a bra shop and I will work there and help fit bras on those poor women with boobage issues.

Some boobage

Some boobage

5. The traditional ‘turkey leg’ was not a turkey leg as know it! It was a ham hock, for sure! That’s the hammiest turkey I’ve ever tasted. Nice, though!

I declare this is not turkey!

I declare this is not turkey!


That's what we ate (minus veges and gravy!)

That’s what we ate (minus veges and gravy!)

6. The dancing boys blew me away. Wow, those boys can dance. The highlight of my Rennfest were these two guys giving their belly-dancing wiggle. ‘It’s my passion,’ one of them cooed in my ear. And then, lo and behold, Harry starts giving his wiggle to the crowd, much to my delight!

Curious and marvellous!

Curious and marvellous!

Too cute!

Too cute!

7. It’s pretty easy to tell the pros Rennfest peeps from the amateurs. Those pros are hardcore, their costumes are for real and they live and breathe it. The amateurs are just very pissed on mead.

Johnny Depp?!

Johnny Depp?!

Kind of freaked me out...

Kind of freaked me out…

He was just hot

He was just hot

She was lovely!

She was lovely!

Such a lively place, we love it

Such a lively place, we love it

Fancy one of them?

Fancy one of them?

Some 'traditional' theatre

Some ‘traditonal’ theatre

Strange

Strange

Hurrah for Rennfest!

Hurrah for Rennfest!

And that was Rennfest on a glorious September afternoon. Most excellent! Good job, Maryland 🙂

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2 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 233

  1. andrea says:

    Good to see you yesterday! Glad you had fun and would much appreciate if you could fix the “boobage” problem next year!

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