Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 226

Cop ride along and shooting

Yeeehah! I got me a police ride along and shooting practice lined up. Totally bricking it and looking forward to it at the same time πŸ˜‰

When I told my friend this she told me her ex-husband had been a cop in Western District of Baltimore City, where I’m going, in the 1970s and only two of his co-workers were still alive…..

Anyway, my police ride-along escort for the Western District of Baltimore City has promised me: ‘…..crime reduction and prevention, project housing, entirely vacant blocks, and open air drug markets. It’s not like any other jurisdiction in the state.’

Patrolling the West District

Patrolling the West District

And, thankfully, he’s also promised me a Kevlar vest, since, in case you ask, yes, this is pretty much the land of The Wire. Holy smokes, no wonder I’m bricking it just a little bit. But I can’t wait to see it for real, and maybe dispel some myths, chat to the police guys and gals about their work and begin to understand it all first hand.

As far as shooting at the range goes, I’ve been offered some practical advice – actually, read that as fashion advice, which I would not usually take from anyone, but in this case I think needs must…

I’m told: ‘Guns eject HOT brass that tends to bounce off of walls and land in women’s cleavage, so dress conservatively (haha). Also: wear sneakers. If hot brass gets stuck between your toes while wearing sandals, you will do a funny dance :)’

In addition – and my favourite bit that the cop tells me: ‘I had a rather large-chested friend show up with a low-cut tank top one hot summer day. It was amusing to watch her dance and try to fish out a hot brass shell from her top! The burn marks, not so amusing!

‘Also bring a baseball style cap if you have one. Sometimes, a shell might bounce and land behind your protective eye glasses. I’ve never seen it happen but it has been documented. A hat with the brim forward will prevent any burns to the eyes. Don’t be scared though…’

I’m not scared….much! πŸ˜‰

Watch out for hot bits on yer wotsits

Watch out for hot bits on yer wotsits

Yard sale!

A Fall tradition (fyi, I still class this as summer cos it’s hot and I am wearing Daisy Dukes), apparently, is the Yard Sale.

Signs galore are up in our neighbourhood, so we want to try them out, naturally.

They are a most marvellous thing! And just like on TV or the movies. Everyone is selling lemonade, the neighbours are popping round buying your junk and selling their own on their front drive. I love yard sales; they are like a community get together at everyone else’s house/driveway. And people do drive to go to a Yard Sale – the real bargain hunters, that is – no nosy novices like us.

Oh, and I didn’t realise you can haggle! We were actively encouraged to seek a bargain and haggle away – that’s the way of the Yard Sale!

For example:
‘Three dollars, please.’
‘How about one?’
‘I’ll take two dollars.’
‘Okidokie!’

Like that.

Garage/yard sale

Garage/yard sale

One person's junk....

One person’s junk….

A bed...

A bed…

The Mullet

Is this 80s phenomenon really around in the USA still? Surely not!

Proof: Towson Cheesecake Factory, 6 September – the mullet is alive and well. πŸ˜‰

The offending mullet

The offending mullett

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5 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 226

  1. Andy says:

    Say hi to Bunk and McNulty for me! πŸ™‚

    (Wire-related joke)

  2. Sally says:

    Have you told the cops where you used to work?

  3. Brian says:

    I did a 4hr ride along in Howard County, it was interesting but I bet very tame compared with what you are going to experiance! It is going to be an interesting blog.

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