Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 169

American bumper stickers

American cars host a plethora of different bumper stickers, which tend to confuse and amuse me.

Many of them say how completely wonderful the driver’s children are, and that their various offspring have usually been one of the following: student of the month or week or day or half day or hour / played triangle in the marching band / led the football team to victory / completed nature camp with five gold stars for discovering a new species of otter faeces. You can tell I find them a teeny bit nauseating, perhaps?

Shouting about our children’s successes is just not something we’re overly comfortable with in the UK. If I had a bumper sticker it might say: Last Tuesday my son put his trousers (pants) on the right way round, for example πŸ™‚

Such pride

Such pride

American pronunciation

Last night my son corrected my British pronunciation and turned it into American pronunciation – that’s with a hard ‘a’, not a soft ‘a’……

This was the sentence: ‘I will show you the extent of my wrath’ (rest assured this was a SpongeBob Square Pants book – nothing too major – and the words were spoken by King Neptune, just so you get the context).

So, I say ‘wrath’ as in ‘cloth’ – the UK pronunciation [albeit Southern UK!]. ‘It’s wrath (as in ‘bat’),’ speaks the five-year old.

I gasp. I beg your pardon?! πŸ˜‰

So how will Harry pronounce this....?

So how will Harry pronounce this….?

I find this hard pronunciation of the ‘a’ sound occurs frequently in the USA and I have to repeat certain words that I pronounce with a soft British ‘a’ with a hard American ‘a’ so that people understand me. Ah, the confusion of accents!

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11 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 169

  1. Derek says:

    Hahahahaha love this! We have the DUMBEST bumper stickers ever here! My favorite is the stick people family. No, I don’t care that you and your wife have three kids, all with snooty sounding new age names, or two cats. Or the support ribbon magnets, “support the troops”. I like the ones that mock the support magnets (support drinking) or stick people family (zombie family)…hahaha

  2. Dave Bittner says:

    My favorite bumper sticker, ever, had the image of the Statue of the Liberty, a gift from France, a welcoming symbol for those starting a new life in the USA. “Give me you tired, your weak, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free…” and all that.

    Next to the image of the statue was text that read, “Speak English or get the hell out.”

    I’ll see your ignorance, and I’ll raise you a dash of irony.

  3. jacqueline moore says:

    After all the “my son is an honor student” stickers started, a new one appeared-“my kid beat up your honor student”—hard to tell which is worse. I do like the one with fluffy pink clouds and sunbeams and rainbows and beautiful script “Jesus Loves You”, underneath in bold block letters:”EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE”

  4. Sally says:

    Those kid-brag bumper stickers are a thing of this generation. 20+ years ago, no one would have dreamed of such embarrassing, nausea-inducing bragging.

  5. stu says:

    If there was such a thing in Ashington,it might read something like ”My kid is suspended again for being a surly little gobshite” or perhaps something about Leek growing or coal.

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