Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 154

Columbia is 46!

The town in which I live is 46 years young. I say ‘years young’ because it is young in comparison to the towns in the UK (apart from Milton Keynes probably) that I have lived in before.

Columbia was built as a planned community and consists of ten self-contained ‘villages’ (these aren’t villages as we know them in the UK). It began with the idea that a city could enhance its residents’ quality of life. Creator and developer James W. Rouse saw the new community in terms of human values, rather than merely economics and engineering. Opened in 1967, Columbia was intended to not only eliminate the inconveniences of then-current subdivision design, but also eliminate racial, religious, and class segregation.

Columbia, Maryland

Columbia, Maryland

So many people who live in Columbia are proud of it, and rightly so. My hope is that the Downtown developments make it an even buzzier place that is defined by culture, arts and community. As I stated in my magazine article, I love living here because it is extremely family-orientated, but there are things I miss from the UK (need I mention WALKING anywhere!!). That aside, Columbia continues to offer a great way of life in the USA and I am chuffed to be part of the community – happy 46th birthday!

Female president?

A comment from my friend who runs the Smitten by Britain blog struck me today. It was this….’It’s 2013. I can’t believe we still have to ask the question “Are we ready for a female president?” What is wrong with people?’

In the UK we had a woman Prime Minister 30 years ago, and whatever your opinion of Maggie, she was a woman done good! Is this really an issue for the USA in this day and age?

Her comment received this response: ‘Come on… this is America where the bar keeps going lower each day and it is celebrated for doing so… do you have to really ask that question? Look at regular TV programming and consider the lowest common denominator that it is panders to and there is your answer. We (collectively) suck as a society… A female president… yeah maybe if it is Honey Boo Boo. (I think we are ready though… a leader is a leader regardless of gender.)’

Gawd help us – Honey Boo Boo is all that is bad about American TV! Don’t get me started on that!

Please go to school and get off the TV

Please go to school and get off the TV

Food issues in the USA

Food in America….a whole blog could be written about this.

There are so many additives and preservatives in stuff that even milk can keep for months in your fridge and some cereal is dripping in artificial food dye that could potentially blow your head off.

In the USA there are foods that are eaten which contain ingredients that are actually banned in other countries. Why are they letting this happen? It sucks, and it sure ain’t right!

And, of course, there’s the age-old corn syrup debate…!

Baseball and basketball

I am totally excited to be going to my first basketball and baseball games in the next week.

I just don’t remember being that enthralled by my first (and last) football/soccer game back in the UK. Firstly, it was cold and grey and we had to stand in mud. There was no hot Bovril, as promised. There were no goals, so nothing to cheer for. The mascot looked like a mole when it was actually a robin (I called it Rodney the Mole, when in fact it is called Whaddney the Robin). The whole experience was dismal. The only exciting bit during the cold, damp afternoon was a mini-fight between the rival teams.

I swear it looked like a mole!

I swear it looked like a mole!

I am totally up for a hot dog, KissCam, Mexican waves and all the shenanigans that goes on at the basketball and baseball games – yeehah!

I'm going to Camden Yards to see the Orioles at last! Hoorah!

I’m going to Camden Yards to see the Orioles at last! Hoorah!

Do I really like Corn Dogs?

A few people have asked me this since seeing the magazine with me holding one (let me tell you, it was quite hard during that photo shoot not to make it look all a bit phallic!).

The answer is categorically no, I do not like Corn Dogs! They gross me out now (especially since I know what’s in them!!)

I did not actually nibble that

I did not actually nibble that

Undertaking and overtaking – a song by me 🙂

I have written a song about my biggest USA bug-bear. It’s about undertaking on the roads, which happens A LOT.

Please sing it out loud to the tune of the marvellous British 70s and 80s children’s show The Wombles.

Overtake, undertake, undercut me,
You’re in my blind spot so I just can’t see.
Some of your driving is totally crap,
If you don’t pull over we’ll have a mishap.

USA drivers,
Do you remember the time when you took your road test,
It told you how to drive.
Go get on the outside and don’t undertake me!

Please go on the outside, it’s really insane.
When you undercut me on the inside lane.
Overtake, undertake, undercut me,
That car on the inside will frigging hit me!

People don’t notice me, they never see,
Under their noses a car it may be.
Undercut by night and undercut by day,
I can’t see you coming that other way.

You’re so incredibly, utterly devious
Making the most of every lane.
Trucks don’t give a f*ck.
Did you pick up traffic test and turn it into something new,
Is that what you do?

Overtake, undertake, undercut me,
If you don’t look out you’re going to hit me.
Make good use of the other lane instead,
Cos if you don’t we’ll both end up dead.

Thank you Wombles!

Thank you Wombles!

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5 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 154

  1. Andy says:

    About driving standards in the USA…. When we first arrived at our first home in Virginia many years ago, I took myself down to the DMV office to see about getting a Virginia license. The actual driving test consisted of a quick circuit around the parking lot and lasted less than 5 minutes. This compared with the driving test I took (and failed the first three times) in the UK – hill starts. parallel parking, emergency stops, a 20 minute oral test on the highway code and on and on. The driving test (in VA at least) may well account for the standard of driving here!

  2. shar0713 says:

    Don’t judge all drivers by the ones you see here! We’re frustrated every day. The funniest part is when there’s is a hard rain, and everyone slows down and puts their blinkers on or pulls over!

  3. Pingback: Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 502 | ukdesperatehousewifeusa

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