Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 105

Top 10 Exapt Blog Award!

I woke up this morning, and, as usual, I reached for my phone to see what news and views and shenanigans are going on in the world and lo and behold I spy a comment on my blog to tell me that I’ve won an award for writing stuff and nonsense!


That’s a lovely thing to wake up to! Hurrah for me! πŸ™‚

American wedding

I simply must get myself invited to an American wedding. This is going on our TO DO list. It is essential for blogging purposes, you understand. I hear they are very, very different from ours. This post highlights the differences even more….

In fact, not just an invite required. I need to be a bridesmaid……


Little pests!

Little pests!

These little beasts are going to be making a comeback to the area, it’s been reported.
They’ve popped off for 17 years and now decide that it might be nice to get their horrid little arses back to Maryland…,0,2282104.story

They’re like LOCUSTS apparently! “Cicadas are benign to humans under normal circumstances and do not bite or sting in a true sense, but may mistake a person’s arm or other part of their body for a tree or plant limb and attempt to feed.[2] Cicadas have a long proboscis, under their head, which they insert into plant stems in order to feed on sap. It can be painful if they attempt to pierce a person’s skin with it….”

Kids ‘n’ cars

So, in the UK if you saw a 16 year old driving a car, you’d be like ‘STOP, THIEF’ (I can speak from actual experience since my car was stolen by a 12 year old).

The fact is that I have to stop myself yelling this every time I drive in to Harry’s school because the kids who can are driving massive trucks and sports cars, and I almost swerve every morning as I’m mesmerised by these little people driving big people’s cars.

It’s only a year’s difference from the UK to get the driving licence, but I think you would rarely see a 17 year old in the UK a) driving to school, b) driving a Mustang or an SUV c) driving legitimately!

The Buick

So my husband has had to get a new car, since his clapped out banger Ford Taurus has dribbled its last bit of engine oil on our drive way. (I refused to get in the beast whilst it was on its last legs).

So, we are now the proud owners of a Buick. His excitement at getting an American car was a joy to see! ‘A cool car,’ he declared, smoothing the bonnet / hood of his newly named ‘Funcle Buck’.

However, his joy was slowly dissipated by the fact that, upon a Google search of Buick, we find that it is referred to as the American seniors’ car – a reliable, comfortable car for the older generation in the USA. How I laughed!


There’s something quite ’70s/80s Starsky and Hutch about it, don’t you think….?

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19 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 105

  1. Oh my gosh, please tell me that is not a picture of the Buick he got!

  2. Robyn says:

    if it’s any consolation, my husband was a proud owner of a Cadillac De Ville for 6 months… another true seniors’ ride! Even had umbrella holders.

  3. Emily says:

    I can vouch for the American wedding. The two I’ve been to have been a lot of fun. Not hugely different to an Australian wedding, though on average a few more people I think.

    I haven’t been to a Canadian wedding, but I’ve been told the norm is no open bar…. they lost me a bit there πŸ˜‰

  4. Darlene Mikolasko says:

    Dear Desperate,
    Kindly call me & ask for advice before making any other major purchases. Apparently you & your husband cannot be trusted bahahahahahahaha!

  5. ian bolden says:

    It’s a retirement car because you can stretch out on the back seat and have a nap after driving for 40 mins!
    However if I was 18 again I would get one because you can stretch out on the back seat with your girl!
    Well done J, how many gallons to the mile?

    from a nearly senior

  6. EmmaK says:

    Well there was a massive invasion of them back in 2004 I got quite excited thinking it would be all biblical with the sky turning black with the critters but it wasn’t quite so dramatic, alas. My daughter was a baby at the time and she was sitting on the grass and she bit the head off one! Yes that’s the kind of mother I am πŸ˜‰

  7. Charlotte Jones says:

    Well done for winning the award Claire. You are so entertaining it was no surprise really, and very well deserved!

  8. Pat and Pam says:

    LOL — don’t be too snobbish about an old-peoples’ car. You will be much more comfy in it, especially on trips, which I assume you will be making doing research for your blog!

  9. Pat and Pam says:

    P.S. I was in DC area years ago during a cicada infestation. They were EVERYWHERE and they are BIG! Horrid. And, our dog liked to EAT them — and then threw up the carapaces. Yuck. Hope they are not too numerous when they come out.

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