Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 103

How NOT to do drive-up banking

So, drive-up banking is, as I have declared before – BLOODY BRILLIANT. I love it! When people come to stay I just want to show them drive-up banking, so even the smallest amount of money gets deposited or I take cash out just so I can show them how ace it is.

A drive up bank thingymajig

A drive up bank thingymajig

However……if you do not want to look like a complete British tourist, then drive up closely to the teller machine thingy, and not too far away that you have to reverse, go forward, reverse, go forward until you are still only just close enough, so much so that it is still an effort to reach and put in your card and punch in your numbers. Sigh.

Jackie Robinson

Baseball seems to be everywhere I look at the moment – okay, so it is the baseball season, but it is popping up left right and centre. I had not heard of Jackie Robinson before this week, and now I want to go and see the movie 42 all about him and what he achieved:


He was a legend and his story is a complex one of race, history and baseball. I think I’m going to like it. And I think I’m going to like baseball.

See, I’m learning things out here πŸ™‚

Other stuff I didn’t want to learn

So, I’m in the nail salon (this is an important thing for a desperate housewife to do – I have an image to uphold here – don’t judge me!) and the TV is on. I don’t watch TV out here, so it’s feels a little indulgent and naughty.

The View is on where they talk about stuff. This is a bunch of ladies who are sort of famous here in the US, and ex-movie stars (Whoopie Goldberg) and…hang on, that’s Patrick Duffy! What’s Bobbie from Dallas doing co-presenting? Oh Patrick.

Anyway, they talk about nonsense such as what kind of sneakers are in this season and when it’s okay to masturbate. Oh my, America! Patrick makes a joke that it’s best at 64. I chuckle audibly in the salon. Everyone blushes and laughs on and off screen and the credits roll…..

the view

After that comes The People’s Court – a truly terrible programme where people air their gripes with each other. The one I glimpsed was about one woman suing another for a $250 hair weave she claims the other had ripped out in a fight in her car. Fascinating, inane, incredible stuff.



I took a long walk yesterday. Boy, did I get some funny looks, because in this town, ya just don’t walk! It was a nosey old stroll, I confess – I had a good old gander at people’s houses and gardens, admired their decks and their landscaping.

Twice I got beeped by people I know, who asked if I needed ‘a ride’. This was a) lovely of them, b) made me realise I now know a lot of people in this community, and c) amused me, because in the UK we would ask if someone needed a ‘lift’.

A typical pad round here

A typical pad round here

For the record, I declined both times with thanks (actually, I said ‘I’m good’ – a phrase oft used out here and which I now use A LOT).

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8 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 103

  1. The View has been on for a long time and actually inspired the ITV show Loose Women. I always enjoyed the current events banter that occurs at the beginning of every show, otherwise the rest of it is silliness. Recent news is Barbara Walters and Joy Behar are leaving the show so it will be interesting to see how much longer it last – although I don’t watch it anymore anyway.

    Where I live you don’t get looks for walking…especially if you have a dog but I’ve taken daily walks since the age of 14. I won’t live in a neighborhood where there are no safe pavements or streets to walk on.

    The house in the photo? That’s considered pretty big by my standards as well. I’m not sure why anyone would something that big? I’d have to hire someone to clean it because I certainly wouldn’t!

  2. Ah, the People’s Court. Who watches this rubbish? The same people who watch Jerry Springer and Jeremy Kyle.

  3. salpal1 says:

    LOVE your description of the drive through – as a former drive through teller, I was in stitches. I often am when reading your blog, and so have nominated you for a LIebster award. Can’t wait to see your take on my questions!

  4. KimF says:

    I live in Clarksville and walk a lot. I rarely get a notice at all–maybe it’s because I use the paths and people just don’t see me. πŸ™‚ I will tell you that drivers will NOT stop for you, even when you have the right of way, on the crosswalk. I’ve experienced that more than one time. Driving is the predominant way of life here; sadly.

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