Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 83

Dunkin’ Donuts
Today I took my son to Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast. Don’t judge me. Dammit, now I feel the need to justify this.

So, he had been a little off colour all week and deserved a chocolate, sugar-laden treat. For the record, I had the veggie flatbread and now I have indigestion 😦

Anyway, I’m glad I went because what a mix of people in DD’s at 7.30am.

To our right – five women, dressed in overalls, eating a stack of donuts between them, and drinking extra large coffees, and they were talking thus:

Jeez, this horse landed on my leg and Doug had to pull it off me, and I was only bruised, but I gave the beast hell.”

“I got my twelve grandkids coming round at the weekend and I’m gonna do a pot roast and they can eat that. I can’t remember all their names sometimes. Think Kimmy has another one of the way.”

It was fascinating. They all sort of back-slapped each other as they left and hit the road in their trucks. I suspect they were off to shift a few haybales and dig a well.

The other extreme was the arrival of several children from the private school up the road, dressed in chinos and polo shirts, coming in for their breakfast, and plonking themselves down to do their homework at the table before school whilst munching on a double chocolate creme puff thingy. Very interesting…..


So, you see, a Dunkin’ Donuts really is a melting pot of social activity.

Juice box
The other day I asked Harry if he wanted a ‘juice box’. UK friends will know this is not a phrase we use. I used it. Am I converting…..?


Americans don’t swear
On TV shows, I have noticed, characters say ‘dammit’ a lot when they are frustrated or need to express something which would usually warrant a good old swear word. I said ‘dammit’ it in this post just to that effect. It is very annoying hearing it all the time on TV shows because there seems to be no alternative to ‘dammit’ and when I tweeted about this annoyance an American blogger replied, ‘but that is swearing!’. No it f*cking isn’t, I replied, not by British standards! πŸ™‚

Mail /post
In the USA you don’t ‘post’ stuff, you ‘mail’ it.
There is a ‘mailman’ or ‘maillady’ or ‘mailperson’, not a postman/lady/person
You have a ‘mailbox’, not a postbox.
And said mail does not come through your door, you have to go outside and check your mailbox (see early blog about my mailbox confusion).

I still go and ‘check the post’ though. And it’s still a load of junk mail/post πŸ™‚

(Later addition: why then is it called the USPS – United States Postal Service….?)

Self-service in Spanish
At the grocery store (supermarket) I decided to check out at the self-service aisle. And to amuse myself I chose the Spanish option. I think this is the most fun I had on Monday morning, apart from when I messed it up and the customer service lady came to sort it out and began to speak to me in Spanish and I said in my best British, “Um, sorry, I just pressed the Spanish button by mistake.” πŸ™‚

Jack Diamond
I have been tweeting Jack Diamond (, who does the morning breakfast show from Washington DC. I like to listen to ‘local news’ and there are lots of interesting callers who talk lots of lovely nonsense, plus, I confess, the presenters discuss inane pop culture, which I still have a penchant for.

Anyway, the thing is, Jack could sell you literally anything. Over the past few months he has been advertising this hair removal system, and it’s made me chortle, cynical and confused. Now, after months of listening to Jack talk about the No-No Hair Removal System,, I am almost compelled to buy one, even though I don’t need one.

jack diamond

Plus, I would like to chat to Jack on his morning show about being a Brit in America, so now he is following me on twitter (excellent), I will pester him until he does just that, and then I will buy his hair removal system πŸ™‚

Sparkles and Spurs
Ooooh, as a result of my super-fun podcast, I have been invited to a Howard County Black Tie event with the great and good (and rich). Woo hoo, very exciting indeed. See here for more details:

I love that this is all about glamour and cowboys. Most excellent. I will be dressing up and schmoozing away on Saturday night, and will blog lovely pictures and share stories in a follow up blog. My friend in the UK asked if it was similar to a glamorous Dallas-style oil baron’s ball. In my head, yes, yes it will be!


Teenager killed for his shoes
Sometimes in this blog I just have to share with you some of the sad stuff I read in the local news and online. It speaks for itself.

15-Year-Old Fatally Shot

by rakates
HILLCREST HEIGHTS, Md. (AP) — Police have identified a 15-year-old boy who was shot to death near his home in Prince George’s County.

Police say Charles Walker Jr. was a student at Suitland High School. He was found suffering from a gunshot wound Monday afternoon in the 4000-block of 28th Avenue in Hillcrest Heights, just two blocks from his home.

Walker was taken to a hospital, where he died.

Police say they are working to establish a motive.

The victim’s aunt, Laurice Massey, tells a TV station that the teen was heading to a bus stop when he was attacked. She says he may have been killed for his shoes.

The Prince George’s County school system released a statement calling the death “senseless.”

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8 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 83

  1. Christie Lassen says:

    Glad you’re coming to Evening in the Stacks! And yes, think of Sparkle & Spurs and Dallas in the same way – it’s going to be sparkly and fun!

  2. EmmaK says:

    Yeah what does ‘dammit’ even mean? you can get away with saying ‘bloody hell’ here as no one knows that that is. I still swear freely but now my kids are doing it so I just hope they don’t have an English style swearing meltdown at school. Also here ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’ are swearwords (go figure). It’s really hard to have a good swear in public let me tell you goshdammit!

  3. j.a. moore says:

    try eating at a truck stop (do not take the child!). Listen to truckers at next booth reminiscing about various times they have fallen asleep at the wheel of their semi, laughing like hell. Better than caffeine for a morning jolt that keeps you alert all day!

  4. Our Adventure in Croatia says:

    love these explanations and comparisons of the two countries… it’s not a different language, but it could just well be.. πŸ™‚

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