Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 75

American teeth vs British teeth

Now in the UK, we don’t pride ourselves on our teeth particularly and I don’t really remember being educated about teeth and hygiene other than watching the odd Colgate advert and doing the morning and bedtime brushing routine.  A trip to the dentist was quicker than a trip to a…..well, it was very quick, let’s leave it at that.

Not so in America-land. I have just spent two painful hours in the dentist’s chair being scraped, cleaned and sluiced.

I was fully aware of the stigma that is attached to British teeth (not literally – it’s unsightly plaque that is literally attached to our teeth), and rightly so. Our smiles can be a sorry sight, and I do find myself looking at American’s teeth a lot and sighing inwardly at their white, straight, glossy perfection. No wonder they say ‘awesome’ a lot, because it opens up the mouth to share the teethypegs in all their wonderful glory (you tried it, didn’t you).

teetch

This is an image of British celebrities’ teeth before an American dentist got his hands on their chops.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7633254.stm (see this link for more amusing details about British teeth vs American teeth)

Now, my teeth are not bad and I am an advocate for flossing and brushing and mouthwashing as much as you can, but I felt a little inadequate as I entered the dentist’s chair and spouted forth stuff about the NHS, how little we get to go to the dentist, drinking tea, blah blah blah.

They nodded (exchanged knowing glances) and were very sympathetic. After two hours in the chair, during which time I noted the radio station they were playing had a penchant for 80s soft rock and ballads, I felt wholesome and clean, like I wanted to don some pom-poms and cheer for the nearest football team.

But, blow me down, and thank the Lord for dental insurance, as I was presented with a bill for $547. That’s a lot of money for scraping, polishing and sluicing.

And that’s on top of the $800 I have to pay tomorrow for the dent in my front bumper because my husband reversed into my parked car on the driveway…but that’s a whole other blog! 😉

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5 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 75

  1. EmmaK says:

    lol your son will be next! My nine year old has the nightly head brace, day brace with colored bits etc. The wierd thing is braces are cool and her friends who don’t have them want one! Wierd!

  2. I literally laughed out loud at scraped, cleaned and sluiced.

  3. Kate Evans says:

    Yikes that is a lot of money for two hours work!!!

    Best regards/ Tlhola sentle,

    Dr Kate Evans Founder and Director of Research and Education Elephants for Africa

    Skype: elephantkate

    isa registered charity in England & Wales, no.1122027, dedicated to elephant conservation through research and education.

    Before printing this e-mail, please think about your commitment to the environment.

    Confidentiality Notice: This message is intended solely for the person/entity to whom it is addressed and contains privilege information. Should the reader hereof not be the intended recipient, kindly notify me immediately by return email and delete the original message.

    From: ukdesperatehousewifeusa Reply-To: ukdesperatehousewifeusa Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2013 20:32:12 +0000 To: Kate Evans Subject: [New post] Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 75

    ukdesperatehousewifeusa posted: “American teeth vs British teeth Now in the UK, we don’t pride ourselves on our teeth particularly and I don’t really remember being educated about teeth and hygiene other than watching the odd Colgate advert and doing the morning and bedtime brushing r”

  4. writing about going to the dentist seems to be quite common
    amongst expats, we live in London but our dentist is in Croatia
    http://adventureincroatia.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/the-croatian-karate-dentist-strikes-back/

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