Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 62

Tire trouble

So, I’m thinking that Mike the Mechanic from the Mafia may have had it in for me after all (did I not respond appropriately to his heartwarming proposal story…?)

Anyhows, I get a tire ‘blow out’ 830 at night, in the cold, with my son in the car, in a parking lot. This is four days after Mike ‘sorted’ my tires – just an observation.

So, I call the appropriate people to come and fix it and in the meantime, I visit an Italian restaurant to keep warm with my son.

After a short time, the manager asks if everything is okay so I tell him about my tire. He says he can fix the spare on in the time we are waiting for the recovery people to turn up. Sounds super, I say.

Apart from it’s not so super, because my British accent brings about a conversation about England (one-sided from Johnjo – yes, that is his name), who proceeds to tell me how his son is going to trial for Tottenham at age 11, how he is getting 94,000 pounds for the privilege and what is beans on toast? It’s beans. On toast.

This story has taken 20 minutes and I am now very cold, Johnjo. The rubbish fries you made me pay $5 for are very cold, and my son is super dooper cold and going a bit mental.

Hooray, it’s the recovery man! Come on then, get on with the tire thingymajig…..

Oh no, Johnjo and recovery man chat about pizza and a crash on the highway, and then laugh about crumpets (I do add minutes to the conversation by explaining that crumpets are not only a bread-based treat, but that crumpet is also the word for a nice looking girl, which confuses them more than anything.) However, JUST PUT THE BLOODY TIRE ON.

Eventually, it got sorted and we got home – late, tired and cold 😦

Birthday party list

I wanted to share with you an extract from an email that has me a little bit flabbergasted. It’s about birthday lists. We’re off to another birthday extravaganza this weekend and I received this email from the hosting parents:

A couple parents have asked me what kind of toys […] likes, so I thought I’d have her help me make a “wish list” on You absolutely can get her anything you want and we’ll be very happy with it. But for those that
wanted a little guidance we compiled a list. Basically she likes cartoons like, Dr. McStuffins and teenage mutant ninja turtles. Her party theme I believe will be monster high. And her cake is Disney princesses, so she’s a little everywhere πŸ™‚ Please let me know if you have any questions! Also, she wears size 13 shoes, and 6-7 in clothes.” (sic)

On this list there are such things as:
Toy Pony $99.99
Castle $89.99
Scooter $129.99

It goes on.
Well, I’ve got her a Barbie DVD – and she will love it πŸ™‚

Wrong side of the road

Today, after 12 weeks of near-perfect driving Stateside, I pulled out onto the freeway onto the wrong side of the road. There was no accident, but it’s the fastest bloody U-turn I’ve ever made in my life.
Sorry, man in the red truck….

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4 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 62

  1. limeguy50 says:

    Very nice, what is nice? the stories are nice. Best kind are those that you live through. Our kids are older and past that birthday party “stuff”

  2. Rebecca says:

    Just found your blog! I am an American expat originally from HoCo living in the UK and it’s enlightening to see my childhood ‘home’ through another’s eyes.

  3. EmmaK says:

    I luckily only learnt to drive once i was in the US or I would definitely have found myself driving on the left side there is no doubt about that!!

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