Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 60

Close encounter

So, I almost had a gun encounter today (don’t freak out!). Sort of, but not quite.

I’m teaching Zumba….we’re breaking a sweat to Pitbull ‘Drop it to the Floor’ and one of the class goes to the door to peer out (fyi, there is glass all across the front of the studio and the door is glass – we can see out, everyone can see in, if they so wish).

You okay, I ask?

I think I saw a man carrying a gun, she says.

I turn down Pitbull and we don’t continue to ‘drop it to the floor’ anymore.

Adrenalin kicks in. I rush to the door and lock it (which now makes me laugh, because if this man did have a gun, he could just as easily shoot the glass if he wanted to come in). Which makes me wonder, what would he need with us? We’re a bunch of sweaty ladies in mainly pink and black and we can only offer you Zumba weights or sweatpants in a size 6 if you demand stuff from us.

Anyway, we cower slightly, not sure what to do, and then the class member shakes her head and says she’s not sure. I’m looking at the toilet, the store room and the kids’ playroom for potential areas of cover. All the time I’m thinking two things: what would Bruce Willis do? and: this will make an excellent tale for my blog.

So, in conclusion, we don’t think he had a gun (he was heading to the Asian restaurant, fyi). So, the incident over and done with, we whack up the sound for Pegate Mas and throw some Zumba shapes, the adrenalin kicking in (great for burning more calories). And I kind of have the giggles, at what a weird and ridiculous situation it is.  And I find it hard to concentrate, but we get through class.

And all the time, I’m thinking – this wouldn’t happen in the UK. And that, dear friends, is because here you can carry guns, and bloody silly it is too.


Americans don’t swear. I have noticed this. I can quite easily slip in a ‘oh b*gger’ or ‘oh sh*t’ or ‘bl*ody this that and the other’ into the conversation, but generally Americans don’t ‘cuss’.

They say things like ‘shoot’ and ‘darn’.

It is very sweet, but sometimes there is  damn good cause for a bl*ody good swear 🙂 (like if a man is spotted carrying – or not – a gun.)

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2 Responses to Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 60

  1. john says:

    True, if you see a man carrying a gun you don’t want to say “oh shoot”

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