Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 32

Driving without Sat Nav 

It is a momentous day! I drove without Sat Nav to my required destination!

Okay, admittedly it was to the Mall, which I have lots of experience of getting to, but I did it and it feels good! I am a native!

The Cheesecake Factory and Food Porn

The Cheesecake Factory, dear reader, is not just about cheesecake. It has an extensive menu and is very popular in the USofA. We had to wait for a table and therefore had to indulge in nibbles whilst waiting. This was a mistake. (See here for menus:

We all know American portions are large, but here they are HUGE. My Asian chicken salad was the size of my husband’s head and his sideburns and his fluffy hair after he’s been swimming. That is V V V large.

I ate some of the salad, and it was delicious, I have to admit, but had to ask for that now-familiar take out box and am currently eating the remainder for my lunch as I blog to you.

I mentioned being overwhelmed by portion size to a lovely American lady whom I have met, called Beth. She nodded and told me about Food Porn, where you can take photos of food and post it. The Cheesecake Factory comes up trumps every time. Google Food Porn at your leisure (make sure you spell it correctly, otherwise Lord knows what you may encounter!)

For the record, my son and husband had some of the extensive cheesecake selection. It was also massive and is sitting in take out boxes in our fridge.

Jeremy Kyle on US  TV

Yes, you read that correctly. As I am driving around I hear these excited adverts on the radio. “Jeremy Kyle is back. The man who changed the face of daytime TV in the UK……straight talking style….blah blah.”


It is too awful for words. Don’t indulge the man, please America.

Highland and Sandy Spring 

I am a bit in love with some villages on crossroads on the 108.

They are Highland and Sandy Spring and they look like they may have had witches and Crucible type events going on back in the day.

In fact, I feel like I am in Scooby Doo’s The Witch’s Ghost…..(remember, I have a four-year old with an obsession).

They declare that they founded in the 1700s, which is pretty old for the States. There are slave museums and crazy shops and horse saddling porches and liquor stores and I need to investigate. I will report back.

In the meantime, have a read of this:,_Maryland,_Maryland

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