Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 17

Dear Fan

I hear I have a blog fan, which is most lovely to hear! Hello there Tom…! I hope that you continue to enjoy this trip to America with my stream of consciousness. I also hear you’d welcome any kind of saucy novel I may pursue on the horizon………..well, consider it to be in production as we speak!


Living frugally

We have not a lot of stuff in the house, since it has all been shipped out and is winging its way across the Atlantic Ocean. Being of the shallow mind and body that I am, I, of course, was worried my tanning products would experience a bumpy ride and may well not survive the arduous journey (many before them have not). However, should my legs be bronzed by the sun that is currently beating down in the USA (owing to regular visits to the aforementioned pool), I shall have little use for them. However, it is still a cause for concern and brings a small knot to my [healthily glowing] back.

It is quite liberating living so sparsely. Two plates, two bowls, two forks, two knives… get the idea. We question ourselves….do we really need all the crap we’ve been living with for so many years? The answer, of course, is no, we bloody well don’t so why the bloody hell did we ship it all out (with excess fee attached = guilt trip).

We’d rather receive our shipping later than anticipated at the other end to enjoy this sparse living, but there again, there are only so many items of clothing I can wear on recurring occasions, so maybe I do need it after all. And we’ll be having people over for dinner and BBQs, so I guess it would be unseemly to ask them to bring their own cutlery and crockery……


I’m not a crier. I don’t cry, period. I have not cried yet. The question is, when will I cry?

Not when I saw my brother’s family for the last time yesterday.

Perhaps at my last netball match or Zumba class?

Maybe when I leave work? (I doubt it…)

The meals out with friends to say goodbye…..?

When my parents wave us off…..hmmm!

Who knows? Bets are on.

I think it might be on the flight, when the cats are in the hold, I’m quoiffing that free champagne and it’s all sunk in a little. Or at the other end when everything is taking frustratingly long to organise. (I hear it’s mighty testing getting the small things sorted and if I were a Little Miss I would be Miss Impatient, so here lies the true test of American capability).

Less than two weeks to go, blogsters….. 🙂


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