Desperate English Housewife in Washington, chapter 4

Funny things…..

At a family do which I recently attended everyone confronted me with “Oooh, you’re off to the States” my standard reply went like this: “Yes, but we won’t be going till August as my husband has to hang around for the Olympics – he’s in the 110m hurdles.” Which is particularly funny if you know my husband (short legs; couldn’t clear a milk bottle).  However, this becomes less funny to oneself the more one says it. I said it at least 12 times.

Schools and wardrobes……

Our new zip code is not dissimilar to Beverley Hills 90210. This I can cope with.

I have been looking at schools for Harry. Will Harry develop an American accent and keep a straight face when calling his teachers Miss Patty and Miss Gina? I feel this sounds like something from Little House on the Prairie. And I expect there will be gingham overalls to match.

My husband was recently out in the USofA and was tasked with videoing the house, taking pics etc. A basement the size of our entire downstairs? Yes please! A WALK IN WARDROBE! Yes please! Get me over there now, now, now.

He emailed to say that, prior to his departure day, he was in Toys R Us. Toys R US???  Why? They don’t sell jewellery in frigging Toys R Us!

Netball addiction…..

Netball has become an addiction for me. It’s the new shoes-handbag-combo endorphin high.  Gotta get my fix weekly, and currently I skulk around before or after the match, hoping one of the other teams doesn’t have enough players for their game.

And so, I set myself the task of sourcing a netball team in the USA. Problem#1 (see what I did there with an American ‘number’ sign) – they do not play netball in the USA. Well, some people do, but it’s rare. I think they have a problem with not being able to bounce the ball, a la basketball (but in my humble opinion, this is a bastardised version of netball, much the same as American football has done to soccer/rugby).

Anyhow, problem #2 – I do find a netball team near Baltimore (see The Wire reference). These are they:!/pages/DMV-Tigers-Netball-Team/218686944826958

They are huge. I’m dead.

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