Things I have pondered in America-land today
I awoke at 4am today. Gawd knows why – might have been the lashing rain reminding me of England…
Anyway, I wondered about the following things in America. They are neither controversial nor highbrow, neither clever nor astute. They are just things that this British wife living an American life thinks about at 4am.
1. Drivers’ licences. In the UK we call this a driving licence. And also, in America shops and wotnot they always ask for your ‘driver’s licence’ as ID. But what if I don’t drive, what then? And how come you assume that I do drive? Oh, I know why you assume I drive – it’s because there would be no other bleedin’ way of getting here unless I had set off last Tuesday on foot from my house. Because to live here, ya just gotta drive.
2. Arkansas . I still read the end bit of this state and say in my head ‘kansas’, not ‘kansaw’ like it’s supposed to be said, which is annoying. But there again, I don’t say ‘IllinioS’, so go figure.
3. Haven on the Lake. There is a new wellness centre in Columbia called ‘Haven on the Lake’, which I think sounds like some Rosamund Pilcher romance/mystery novel.
4. Drive-thru banking. Do people ever catch their wing mirrors at the drive-thru banking? What if they have very short arms and can’t quite reach the machine? Or do they just get out the car? Or perhaps they just think ‘sod it, I’m not having this malarkey’ and just go into the bank and get it all sorted that way.
5. Silverware. Why do waiting staff still call the knife and fork silverware even if it’s plastic? Yes, I like to eat in places with plastic silverware. Diners, mostly.
6.Reading books aloud. When did I start putting on an American accent for different characters when I read American children’s books to Harry? I have started doing different accents and personalities for them – The Pigeon in the Mo Willems books sounds rather like Al Pacino in Scarface and Piggie in Elephant and Piggie has a touch of the Leslie Knopes about her from Parks and Recreation.
That was about it, I think.